Stuck in Place: When Renters Can't Escape Their Abuser

Share this @internewscast.com

This article contains references to domestic violence.

Phoebe’s life took a drastic turn one Sunday morning when her then-partner entered her bedroom.

“That day he came into my bedroom and wouldn’t leave after I asked him,” Phoebe, whose name has been changed for safety, shared with The Feed.

“He stood in the doorway, so I pushed the door to get him out, and he flung it back, hitting me in the face. I jumped up, and then he threatened to kill me.”

The situation worsened when Phoebe informed her partner she was recording him. She claimed he pushed her to the ground and seized her phone from her hands.

Phoebe remarked it was the first instance of physical violence from him, though she had previously felt threatened. Her relationship was already on shaky ground, and this event solidified her decision to leave.

“I didn’t even realize it was a toxic relationship, but I just knew something was wrong. Very controlling, financially controlling … I asked him many times to leave,” she said.

Phoebe said her partner stormed out of the house, but her heart sank when he insisted he’d be back to gather his belongings.

She decided to split from her partner. It would start a journey that many domestic violence victims experience, trying to find safe housing in a rental crisis and navigating loopholes that allow perpetrators to game the system.

Phoebe contacted the police and secured a restraining order, saying she was terrified for her safety.

“Based on his size, for one, and second of all, knowing what he went to jail for,” she said.

The Supreme Court of Western Australia told The Feed Phoebe’s ex-partner had been jailed for violent offences in the past.

“I’m up all night worrying about the situation and worrying about that. He has a key to the house still,” Phoebe said.

Her two daughters from a previous relationship, who lived with the couple in their rented home in Perth, are also on edge.

“They’re looking over their shoulder and locking up, checking the house at night.”

The Western Australia Police Force was unable to comment on the specifics of Phoebe’s case, but said in a statement: “The WA Police Force investigates all reports fully and targets family violence offenders as a priority 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

“A significant amount of work has gone into improving the agency’s Family Domestic Violence risk assessment and response. The Western Australia Police Force is working closely with victim-survivors, experts, and advocates to ensure our community has the best FDV risk assessment and response possible.”

Phoebe knew she and her daughters needed to leave their home — but she never imagined how difficult that would prove to be.

Real estate agents ‘playing God’: Fleeing from violence as a renter

In Australia, renters who wish to escape family and domestic violence can leave home immediately — but the rules on breaking a lease (and the remaining rent that needs to be paid) vary depending on where you live.

Phoebe was relieved to learn she could provide as little as seven days’ notice to break her lease under WA state laws. In Queensland, the notice period is the same.

In NSW, South Australia, the Northern Territory and the ACT, renters can end their tenancy immediately if they’re experiencing violence.

In Victoria, tenants need to give 28 days’ notice if they’re on a periodic (rolling) lease. If they’re on a fixed-term agreement, they’ll need to negotiate with their rental provider — failing that, tenants can apply to the state’s tribunal, which can make an order to end their lease early. In Tasmania, renters need to apply for a court order to terminate their lease.

Phoebe said when she asked her real estate agent, “[he] has come in and said, pretty much, ‘I’m not giving you a reference’.”

Phoebe alleges her property manager initially refused to provide a verbal reference to other agents for her rental applications, after she told him about the situation with her ex-partner. In later emails seen by The Feed, the agent told Phoebe he would only give a reference after she had handed in her termination notice.

Phoebe said she was too nervous to give notice and break the lease before she was able to secure a new rental.

Real estate agents aren’t legally obliged to give references for tenants — but Phoebe said this made it difficult for her to go through the rental application process, in an already competitive housing market.

Perth’s rental vacancy rate dipped to 0.6 per cent in March, while the national vacancy rate was 1.1 per cent, according to SQM Research.

A crowd of people in black clothing carrying umbrellas in the rain. One man holds a sign saying, Not Even Safe at Home

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare states that one in four women and one in 14 men have encountered physical and/or sexual violence from an intimate partner since age 15. Source: AAP / Gemma Hubeek / SOPA Images / Sipa USA

“I can’t apply for houses without his reference, I can’t even get past the first stage,” Phoebe said.

“I’ve got a rental ledger with rent paid always in advance … I’ve lived here for two years, no issues at all, and I can’t tell anyone to be able to escape the violence. I’m stuck here.”

Then the unexpected happened — Phoebe was told her ex-partner had handed in the seven-day termination notice intended for domestic violence victim-survivors. She alleged the real estate agency had accepted his termination.

“That means that he would’ve got off the lease … and he would’ve been given half his bond back and everything would’ve been left to me to sort out,” Phoebe explained.

“That is wrong. That is specifically for a victim to escape, not the perpetrator and all [their] responsibilities.”

The Feed has viewed a copy of the signed termination notice. Phoebe said it was later withdrawn, after she sought legal advice to challenge it in court.

“The WA government have done awesome work helping the victim, but then it’s come up with another roadblock with the real estate playing God, almost,” she said.

The Feed has contacted the real estate agency for comment. A spokesperson said the agency is unable to comment on individual tenancy matters.

“We acknowledge the importance of discussions surrounding family and domestic violence (FDV) and tenant rights, and we approach these matters with the utmost care and sensitivity,” the spokesperson said in a statement.

“We strongly refute any unfounded or inaccurate allegations. In all tenancy matters, we act based on the information given to us and are legally obligated to comply with the Residential Tenancies Act.”

The exterior of an apartment building viewed at an angle, with rows of identical balconies and orange-and-grey walls

Many Australians experiencing family violence are facing the “impossible choice” of becoming homelesss or returning to unsafe homes. Credit: Unsplash / Khay Edwards

Tessa Boyd-Caine is the chief executive of Australia’s National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety (ANROWS). She said it’s common to see perpetrators of family violence manipulating systems designed to help victim-survivors, and using it to their advantage.

“A lot of the abusive and controlling behaviours in a family are not only physical,” Boyd-Caine said.

“You might see a perpetrator seeking an apprehended violence order, or seeking controls put on their partner: using domestic violence law and policy that is intended to support victims and survivors, but actually bringing that into part of their controlling and abusive behaviour.”

Shortly after the dispute, Phoebe was told she was being evicted from her rental.

A perfect storm

One in four women and one in 14 men have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from an intimate partner since the age of 15, according to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare’s (AIHW) analysis of 2021-22 surveys.

The AIHW says on average, one woman was killed every 11 days by an intimate partner in Australia in 2022-23.

Experts say it’s an underreported issue that intersects with Australia’s rental crisis.

It’s a perfect storm for those who are fleeing from family violence and seeking safe housing. Boyd-Caine said Australians escaping violence are being forced into homelessness due to a lack of safe and affordable housing options.

A woman with short, brown hair in a pink sleeveless top with a bow collar stands smiling in front of plants in a garden

Tessa Boyd-Caine leads ANROWS, a research organisation set up by the federal, state and territory governments to support the National Plan to End Violence against Women and Children. Source: Supplied

“People who are experiencing family violence are left with this impossible choice. Do they couch surf? Do they sleep rough, or do they return to an unsafe home?” she said.

Boyd-Caine said a third of young people seeking help from homelessness services have experienced domestic violence, and the dynamics are similar for older women.

For women with children, there’s a whole other level of housing need — including more space, rooms and safe neighbourhoods.

“We’ve assumed … for the mostly women and children who are victims and survivors of family violence, the pathway to safety is to leave their home. And of course, that means they’re not only dealing with the impact of violence in their lives, they’re now in a context where they’ve lost their home or they’re in housing insecurity,” she said.

“So we’ve seen a real shift for service responses and even for policing to recognise that women and children want violence to end. They don’t necessarily want to leave their home, but that means we need different pathways.”

Around a dozen women dressed in black with red veils over their faces stand on steps in front of a building. One holds a sign reading, 101 Women Killed in 2024

Protests against gender-based violence have swept Australia in recent years, like this silent march in Melbourne for the women killed in 2024. Source: AAP / Joshua Stanyer / SOPA Images / Sipa USA

Boyd-Caine says one solution could be providing housing for the mostly men who are using violence in the home.

For victim-survivors who wish to leave home, she said authorities should provide not only short-term crisis accommodation, but also medium- and longer-term housing options.

“Many people are not going to be able to buy a house or secure a tenancy on their own terms. So we need to think about housing as a much more systemic and a much longer term response to the supports that people experiencing family violence need,” Boyd-Caine said.

After two fruitless months spent searching for a place to rent, Phoebe has moved into temporary accommodation, while her daughters managed to rent a tiny apartment elsewhere.

Phoebe said being forced to split up the family has been difficult — especially for her youngest child, who is still a minor.

“We do miss each other a lot, we haven’t been apart before — she’s absolutely devastated,” Phoebe said.

Phoebe said her agent eventually agreed to provide rental references, but she’s considering taking legal action against him, alleging he evicted her for retaliatory reasons.

As for her ex — the court has granted a conduct agreement order, preventing him from approaching or contacting her. But the past few months have taken a toll on Phoebe’s mental health.

“I used to think, ‘Why do women stay [in abusive relationships]?’. Now I know there’s so many roadblocks in the way,” she said.

“I wouldn’t take it back, but it’s hard.”

If you or someone you know is impacted by family and domestic violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, text 0458 737 732, or visit . In an emergency, call 000.

, operated by No to Violence, can be contacted on 1300 766 491.

Readers seeking crisis support can ring Lifeline on 13 11 14 or text 0477 13 11 14, the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 and Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 (for young people aged up to 25). More information and support with mental health is available at beyondblue.org.au and on 1300 22 4636.

Embrace Multicultural Mental Health supports people from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds.