If your relationship doesn't have this, it probably will fail

Pucker up!

In the bustling world we live in today, couples frequently concentrate on grand gestures, such as lavish date nights, vacations, and therapy sessions, with the aim of sustaining their relationship.

But leading relationship experts are sounding the alarm on something much simpler, yet frequently overlooked: a kiss.


Couple embracing at sunset.
This small gesture goes a long way in a relationship. arthurhidden – stock.adobe.com

Not sex, not deep conversation — just a sweet smooch.

It may seem minor, but the consequences of skipping this small act could be more serious than many couples realize.

Mariah Freya, an expert in sex education and co-founder of the sex-ed platform Beducated, explained to the Daily Mail that kissing is the “most underrated relationship tool.”

While many partners are preoccupied with how often they engage in sexual activity or the strength of their communication, Freya argues they are overlooking one of the most potent indicators of long-term happiness: genuine, consistent kissing.


Couple kissing in a kitchen.
Mariah Freya, a sex education expert and co-founder of sex-ed platform Beducated, says kissing is the “most underrated relationship tool.” forma82 – stock.adobe.com

“Something magical happens when we stop going about kissing in a mechanical way and really focus on it, even if it’s for a few seconds more,” Freya told the outlet.

“That’s when your brain shifts from ‘greeting mode’ to ‘connection mode.’ Your partner literally becomes more attractive to you.”

A 2020 study revealed that how often couples kiss is a strong predictor of both sexual and overall relationship satisfaction.

But despite its benefits, many couples aren’t kissing nearly enough.

A 2011 survey found that one in five married couples don’t kiss for an entire week. Even more concerning, two in five married people say their kisses last only five seconds or less.

Interestingly, age appears to play a role in kissing habits. Those aged 18 to 24 kiss an average of 11 times a week, while five percent of adults over 45 manage to squeeze in more than 31 kisses per week.

Still, many adults blame their busy schedules for the decline in physical affection — but experts say that may be something more concerning.

“If kissing fades, it’s a subtle sign that something deeper is shifting. It’s one of the first signs of emotional disconnection,” Brie Temple, Chief Matchmaker at dating service Tawkify told the outlet.

“Without those soft moments, partners may find themselves feeling like roommates rather than lovers. It’s not just an absence of physical touch, but an absence of shared emotional language that keeps relationships close.”

In addition to spending more time kissing, if a wedded couple wants their marriage to last, Arthur Brooks, a social science expert and professor who devoted his career to studying love said that every marriage should be built on friendship.

“The goal of your marriage is not passion, it’s friendship. This is the goal, you must be close friends, ideally best friends, with your spouse,” Brooks said during his appearance on The Drive podcast.

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