Hostage (Netflix)

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Seek shelter immediately — a storm of exaggerated dramatics is approaching! The core of British democracy faces an unusual threat, not from the likes of Russian forces or extremist insurgents, but from an unexpected and peculiar group… Netflix.

The series, Hostage, a five-part political drama, stars Suranne Jones as a Labour prime minister. Her character embarks on a mission to rescue the NHS (cheers!) while confronting a neo-Fascist French president (jeers!) who’s planning to deploy European troops in England (boo! hiss!).

Meanwhile, there’s a boatload of African asylum seekers fleeing persecution who need safe haven in the UK – and, gulp, they’ve all got ebola.

And just when you think the stakes couldn’t be any higher, masked gunmen only go and kidnap the PM’s lovely husband, Dr Alex (Ashley Thomas).

Political thriller Hostage aired on Netflix on Thursday (Suranne Jones and Julie Delpy pictured in the series)

The cast is filled with stars such as Suranne Jones, Julie Delpy, Ashley Thomas, Corey Mylchreest, Bashy, Lucian Msamati, James Cosmo, and Jehnny Beth.

Meanwhile, in South America, a team from Médecins Sans Frontières is providing vaccinations to joyful village children and their appreciative mothers, when terrorists seize the doctors as hostages.

The terrorists execute a translator. Initially, this seems to underscore their villainy, yet Dr. Alex overhears them speaking English, which suggests they might have realized a translator was unnecessary.

With a gun pointed at him, Dr. Alex records a video message for his wife. She faces a daunting ultimatum: resign within 24 hours or a hostage will face execution.

Suranne Jones, who excels at melodrama, does her best to breathe credibility into all this over-egged nonsense. 

We’re so used to seeing her in extreme situations – wreaking vengeance on an unfaithful husband in Doctor Foster, solving murders aboard a submarine in Vigil – that it doesn’t seem too delulu when she takes command of a hostage rescue attempt… and then apologises to the Chief of the Defence Staff for failing to let him know what she was doing.

Mind you, it’s not much of a rescue. British special forces have apparently been reduced to one soldier, a grizzled veteran called Thomas. 

And he’s armed only with a pistol and a telescopic camera that looks as though he ordered it from one of those sales booklets that fall out of the Sunday supplements.

He probably bought a nice pair of orthopaedic sandals and a reversible jacket at the same time.

The five-part series tells the fictional story of British Prime Minister Abigail Dalton, whose husband ends up being kidnapped, and she is forced to turn to the visiting French president for help

The series is written by Matt Charman and Suranne was confirmed in the lead role in March 2024 (Suranne, Isobel Akuwudike, and Ashley Thomas pictured)

If the PM has any chance of getting her husband back, she’s going to have to rely on the French military. 

But President Vivienne Toussaint (Julie Delpy) has her own problems – she’s been having an affair with someone she really shouldn’t, and now a blackmailer is threatening to release a video of them in bed together.

No wonder Vivienne is so spiteful and mean to her family… though it doesn’t explain why, when they’re alone, they speak English with ‘Allo ‘Allo accents.

If all that stretches your credulity, consider this. It’s only in a fictional drama as bonkers as this that Labour can manage to elect a female leader.