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On the night of September 21, 1996, John F. Kennedy Jr., one of the world’s most sought-after bachelors, wed Carolyn Bessette in a discreet ceremony on a secluded island in Georgia.
Only 40 guests were invited – and many had no idea they would be attending the most newsworthy event of the decade.
In their book, JFK Jr: An Intimate Oral Biography, Kennedy’s former executive assistant RoseMarie Terenzio and journalist Liz McNeil compiled personal interviews from those who knew the couple best, including those present on Cumberland Island nearly three decades ago.
RoseMarie Terenzio
Concerned about anyone overhearing the plans, I would always refer to it as ‘Nicole Miller’s wedding’ during discussions. [Nicole Miller is a designer who coincidentally was also planning her wedding around the same time.]
Sasha Chermayeff, close friend and former college roommate of JFK Jr
Only a select few family members received invitations: Caroline [John’s sister] and her family, representatives from each of his father’s siblings – Bobby Jr along with his wife, Mary Richardson; Tim Shriver; William Kennedy Smith… His cousin Anthony stood as his best man, yet Lee Radziwill [John’s aunt] was not included.
The couple went to extraordinary lengths to keep the wedding secret
The couple were married 29 years ago – just three years later they died in a plane crash
How did he resolve that? Anthony’s my best man, but his mom is not coming to my wedding.
Had his mother [Jackie Kennedy] been alive, out of deference to her opinions, John likely would have considered her input. Without her presence, it was clear he chose his own path without concern.
Carolyn did say to him: ‘Are you sure? Is this crazy not to invite her?’ And the answer was: ‘I’m not inviting her.’
RoseMarie Terenzio
John’s decision to exclude Lee from the wedding stemmed from his belief that she couldn’t keep the secret—he expressed that clearly. He doubted her willingness to respect their wishes, which could have compromised everything.
And the funny thing is, that Christmas after the wedding, they exchanged gifts, Carolyn and Lee at their apartment. Carolyn gave her a Hermès blanket and Carolyn opened her gift from Lee and it was a box of clips from Duane Reade. Scrunchies and hair clips from Duane Reade – like Goody hair clips.
Carolyn said: ‘I actually think this is hysterical.’ She was like: ‘You know what that was, don’t you, honey? That was like, ‘F*ck you for not inviting me to your wedding. How dare you.’
George Kyriakos, Carolyn’s hairdresser
When we got to the island they gave us these coins – these buffalo nickels to carry around – because there was so much security at the wedding and we’d have to show them to get around.
I still have mine. They were from a rare year and everybody had them.
Their wedding was the most newsworthy event of the decade
Anthony Radziwill – pictured at his own wedding to Carole – was John’s best man
Anthony’s mother – and John’s aunt – Lee Radziwill, was not invited to the wedding, but she got her revenge that Christmas
Gogo Ferguson, the couple’s ring designer and owner of Greyfield Inn, Cumberland Island
We had a wonderful cookout on the beach after guests started to arrive. Then the rehearsal dinner was on the upstairs porch of the Greyfield Inn. It was absolutely beautiful, and the speeches were incredible.
Sasha Chermayeff
It felt small enough to have this really fun, intimate feeling from the minute we all got there until the minute we all left.
The rehearsal dinner night, Carolyn was in a very good mood. John put me next to him at the table. And he whispered to me: ‘This is where my mother would’ve sat.’
The dinner was set up on this beautiful big porch. I remember giving a toast and talking about my seeing Carolyn for the first time and just being so blown away by her and I had such a strong feeling that she would be the one that he would be in love with.
I told the story how, at my own wedding, John kept saying to me: ‘How did you know Phil was the one?’ He was asking me over and over. ‘How do I know?’
I said: ‘I just know that he’s my man. I can’t tell you why, but I do. I’m just sure in my bones.’
And I remember John was so excited that such a possibility could happen to him – that he would have somebody. I felt like Carolyn was that woman.
I loved her – I thought she was so great because she just wasn’t going to crumble under the pressure. I mean, who knew… It got complicated.
Terenzio dances with her onetime boss, John F Kennedy Jr
Carolyn was nervous, and then the next day, the day of the wedding, she was out of sight. We were playing on the beach – Carolyn was not there, but we were all very warm, friendly, very comfortable, just messing around and playing with John’s nieces.
George Kyriakos
John slept in my then-wife Jackie’s and my room the night before the wedding on a cot. Which is crazy – there was this huge mansion where everybody had rooms and John was sleeping on a cot in our room.
It was the whole don’t-sleep-with-the-bride-the-night-before-the-wedding thing.
Gogo Ferguson
John wanted to be married in the First African Baptist Church on the north end of the island.
This island is almost 20 miles long. We had a cargo line of trucks going up the beach at low tide with everyone dressed up, sitting in the back. We had to put all the Chippendale dining room chairs in the back of these pickup trucks so they wouldn’t have to sit on the truck floor.
We drove 16 miles in pickup trucks because he wanted to get married in that church.
The night or two before, I called the Candler family – they founded the Coca-Cola Company and they have a property on the north end of the island. And I asked Mary Warren [Candler] if John and Carolyn could change in one of the houses beforehand.
Getting that dress on took an hour because it was so cut on the bias and so fitted. It was like pouring cream over her body. She looked like a calla lily.
‘Getting that dress on took an hour because it was so cut on the bias and so fitted. It was like pouring cream over her body. She looked like a calla lily’
John insisted on being married in the tiny First African Baptist Church on the far north end of Cumberland Island
Inside the little church – guests had to drive in a cargo line of trucks along the beach at low tide to get there
Narciso [Rodriguez, the designer] was trying to sort of sew her into the dress. We were all in such a hurry ’cause we were so late to get to the church.
RoseMarie Terenzio
The neckline was too tight to get over her head, so Narciso had to open it and then re-close it. She had gone for two fittings. But I think the dress wasn’t fully made yet and then when they put the finishing touches on, Carolyn was thinking: ‘It’ll be fine.’ She wasn’t going to fly back to Paris for another fitting.
But that’s what took so long. And then when she got dressed that day, they put a scarf over her head to slip the dress on. To not mess up her hair and not get makeup on the dress.
Gogo Ferguson
We finally get her dressed and John’s forgotten his dad’s cuff links. So Dave [Gogo’s husband] is driving, God knows how fast, down the beach to try to find those at the inn.
We finally get it together and I get Carolyn in my pickup truck and she’s in the back seat on her knees with her hands on the front seat, so she doesn’t sit down and wrinkle the dress at all. And we’re bouncing down this road to the church.
George Kyriakos
The crazy thing when we were driving, there was a reporter who had tried to sneak onto the island, but he was literally going through alligator-infested swamps, and he just surrendered. He put his hands up and he surrendered because he was so fucked-up from going through the swamp.
He just said: ‘Please just arrest me. I need to get outta here.’
Gogo Ferguson
Everyone’s been waiting like an hour and a half for the ceremony to start…
Carolyn had tiny beautiful Bibles on all the seats that had the date of the wedding. I still have mine and a little straw fan. It was very hot, so she had little straw fans for everyone.
After the ceremony, guests partied at Greyfield Inn
Carolyn had placed tiny white bibles and fans on each seat for guests
We lit the church with all the candles and flashlights we had because by the time we got her in her dress and I drove her down the road in my truck, it was getting dark. There was no electricity in the church. It was beautiful.
Everyone was very quiet inside the church. We were all in the moment and just joyous at the end. We all applauded after they said their vows, and I think we all sang along to ‘When the Saints Go Marching In.’
I think the sheriff’s department drove John and Carolyn back into the inn compound. The entire compound was lit with white paper sandbags with candles, and just driving in, it was one of those moments that you want to hold on to for the rest of your life.
We were sort of in a hurry to get down to the inn for the reception… So everyone sort of rushed into pickup trucks to get there before the tide came in.
At the reception, we had a DJ. I remember my little stepdaughter trying to teach Teddy [Kennedy] the Macarena – it was pretty funny.
Sasha Chermayeff
And then when we were all eating dinner and cutting the cake, Carolyn let her hair down, which was a classic thing with her. It was literal with her. Her hair was either up or down. And it had a lot of relationship to how she was feeling.
I remember her nervousness, and when the whole thing was done, we were clapping our hands together, like a pair of high fives. ‘Wow!’ They had just tied the knot.
One thing was strange. I didn’t feel like her circle was very well represented. It was just kind of a weirdly John-centric wedding.
RoseMarie Terenzio
Carolyn’s circle of friends was small, and it was a group that she trusted. Most of them she had come up with through Calvin. She didn’t have as big of a circle as John – because he was John Kennedy
Carole Radziwill, wife of Anthony Radziwill, JFK Jr’s cousin
Ed made a toast and he said: ‘Politics plus fashion equals passion.’ He had a T-shirt made that said that on it and he showed it to everyone.
Carolyn’s mom also gave a toast at the rehearsal dinner and it was sort of a cautionary tale. Something like: ‘I hope my daughter has the strength to handle all of this.’
Robbie Littell, old college friend of JFK Jr
I will never understand why he gave us underwear as a gift – boxer shorts. I thought that he put his initials on them so that we would wear ’em to bed with our wives. But in fact, it was our initials. But still, it’s a weird thing. Little skimpy silk underpants.
At dinner, Carolyn let her hair down – ‘which was a classic thing with her – it was literal’
Kennedy with his old college friend Robbie Littell – the couple gifted him a slinky pair of silk underpants
RoseMarie Terenzio
I’m guessing that was Carolyn’s idea.
Robbie Littell
Mine didn’t fit so good. Two sizes too small. It was probably an insult on purpose.
RoseMarie Terenzio
Back in New York the next week, I put out gifts John had left for the staff. A bottle of champagne for the women and a cigar for the guys.
I put them out at around 7am. Along with a note he wrote: ‘Well, while you were all here toiling away, I went and got myself married. I guess you’ll all have to call me Mister now.
‘As you guys can imagine, we had to keep it a secret, but thank you for all your hard work, and all that.’
Then the morning when he came back from the honeymoon, we had coffee and tea and juice and muffins and bagels and congratulations. John was on cloud nine, wearing his gold wedding band. He was so grown-up.
Excerpted from JFK Jr: An Intimate Oral Biography by Liz McNeil and RoseMarie Terenzio. Copyright © 2024 by Liz McNeil and RoseMarie Terenzio. Reprinted by permission of Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, LLC.
