An online influencer has captured attention after revealing ten hobbies often associated with narcissists. If you find yourself spending excessive time in the bathroom, this might hit close to home.

Lisa Fuller, who describes herself as an advocate against narcissistic abuse, shared an Instagram video that has garnered over 800,000 views. In it, she identifies “red flag” hobbies to help individuals recognize potential narcissistic abuse from those around them.

“Let’s discuss some of the most unusual, bizarre, and strange hobbies that many narcissists tend to have,” she begins.

She continues with a disclaimer, “Having some of these odd hobbies doesn’t automatically label you a narcissist, but when combined with other warning signs, it’s certainly worth noting.”

This post, made just over a week ago, has attracted more than 4,000 likes and nearly 600 comments, as users engage in discussions about these “crazy weird hobbies” linked to narcissistic traits.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), as defined medically, is a mental health condition marked by a consistent pattern of grandiosity, entitlement, and a lack of empathy, often manifested through a need for admiration and a fragile sense of self, according to official sources.

According to Fuller, one of the key traits of a narcissist is their ‘love affair with the bathroom.’ 

‘They will literally hide in there for hours, avoiding you, scrolling, sexting, watching porn, flirting with other people, grooming new supply—doing all those things they can’t do around you.

Research has found that narcissists tend to be more sexually driven and are more likely to be addicted to porn that facilitates their need for power 

‘And so they pick the bathroom because that the place that people aren’t just going to walk in on them.’ 

A 2014 study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, found that narcissists tend to be more sexually driven as they seek out pleasure—and that regularly watching porn can make people more narcissistic.

Dr Thomas Kasper, a licensed therapist and study author told Psychology Today: ‘My theory is that porn use is narcissistic simply because pornography itself objectifies human bodies and distorts sex and its meaning.’ 

He continued: ‘Pleasure is a good thing, but the reason for having it is what matters. 

‘Pornography is limited to just pleasure or pleasure for ourselves. When it is limited to these conditions it feeds our narcissism.’  

Commonly, for narcissists, relationships—romantic and platonic—serve as a tool to regulate their self-esteem and as a result, their relationships tend to be one sided. 

And sexting, watching porn and doom scrolling deliver on all of that; it takes sex, relationships and dopamine and turns them into consumable commodities, available on demand, without placing any demand on the viewer. 

Fuller goes on to list the second and third red flag hobbies: ‘Number two, they gossip like it’s a full time sport. They weaponise gossiping so that every secret becomes currency.’

Gossiping tends to be more closely associated with covert narcissists 

According to clinical psychologist Seth Meyers, writing on Psychology Today, these are also common traits of NPD, which is rooted in childhood trauma.

And number three: ‘They love watching people struggle. They love when other people are suffering. They secretly sit back with a bowl of popcorn and watch the show, watching other people in pain.     

‘It makes a narcissist feel powerful,’ Fuller claims. 

He says: ‘Most, if not all, severe narcissists were likely emotionally injured at a crucial time in their development. 

‘Because the narcissist’s emotional scar involved them being unnoticed, humiliated, or subjugated, they have an intense and often negative reaction when [people around them] feel really good, succeed or shine.

‘Someone else succeeding—especially someone close to them—is actually upsetting or even unconsciously painful. 

‘This is because they see their success as a missed opportunity for themselves to get a little love or attention.’ 

Gossiping, however, tends to be more closely associated with more vulnerable narcissists—who have the same need to feed their ego, but can be more sensitive in their methods. 

Narcissists are also obsessed with their image 

This is known as triangulation—bribing additional people into conversations to pit people against each other or badmouthing each of you to the other.

These narcissists may be harder to spot, as they don’t resonate with that ‘larger than life’ persona we typically associate with narcissists. Instead they want to be seen as the good guy—but that doesn’t mean they’re not calculating says Julie Hall, the author of The Narcissist in your Life. 

Think insults disguised as humour and gossiping behind people’s backs. They may even go out of their way to be kind to your friends, with the hopes of getting people close to you on their side.

According to Hall, this behaviour is driving by an internalised sense of shame, with narcissists overcompensating by trying to make themselves seem superior and cover up their low self-esteem and insecurities. 

And fourth on the list: ‘They collect admirers. They collect flying monkeys, people that do their bidding and their dirty work. They’re addicted to attention so they collect anyone that is going to boost their ego.’

This, again is a ‘hallmark’ trait of NPD, as Professor Susan Krauss Whitbourne writes in ‘Why a Narcissist Will Never Back Down’, also on Psychology Today. 

 She claims that narcissists ‘show little (if any) empathy, become enraged if their desires are thwarted, and feel they are entitled to concessions made by the people around them’.

Fifth on Fuller’s list: ‘They obsess over their image, like posting selfies, going to the gym, making it sound like they’re better than what they are.

Narcissists are also more likely to have a problematic relationship with drugs, to fuel their highs and escape their lows 

And this preoccupation is a narcistic trait. Research has also suggested that narcistic individuals are not just concerned with their own selfies, but are overly critical of other peoples.

‘They want other people to think that they’re so grand, but really, behind closed doors, if you know them, they’re like the laziest people ever.’

According to a 2018 study, conducted by the UK’s Brunel University, found that people who most frequently post about their workouts display a clear primary motivation—to boast about their looks, or at least the amount of time they invest in bettering themselves. 

This is known as comparative self-enhancement and enables them to uphold an inflated view of themselves through comparison. 

Fuller, in her viral post, goes on to list further red-flag behaviours. 

‘They create drama for their own entertainment. They love chaos. They love causing fights behind the scenes, and then they sit back while the chaos ensues, and they look like the good guy. 

 ‘Number seven, they are addicted to porn and have weird fetishes too—which are all about power.

‘They’re also addicted to drugs or alcohol—anything to fuel their highs and escape their lows. They use that kind of stuff so they don’t have to look in the mirror at who they really are.’  

A 2019 article published in Frontiers in Psychiatry confirmed this link, finding that self-esteem plays a major role with both high and low levels leading to the use of alcohol, drugs or other addictive behaviours as a method of validation.

A 20202 review also highlighted that a lack of empathy towards others feelings of invulnerability enable narcissists to continue problematic use of drugs, porn or other substances, despite the obvious damage they cause to both themselves and the people around them. 

Eight to ten on Fuller’s list summarise her final warnings. 

‘Number nine, stalking, social media stalking, I’ve seen narcs hire private investigators or follow people, or put tracking devices on people’s cars. 

‘They have to know what you’re doing at all times. 

‘And number 10, they love to rescue people. They love to be the savior. “Oh, you’re down and out, here’s some money. Oh, stay on my couch. Oh, you can live with us. Oh, I’ll help you move.”

‘They do it so that people owe them later. It’s not out of the goodness of their heart,’ she cautioned. 

A 2016 study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that people high in narcissistic traits were more likely to engage in obsessive relational intrusion, including stalking, after being rejected. 

One reason for this, according to Dr Craig Malkin—a Harvard Medical School psychologist—is that narcissists see their friends, or partners, as extensions of themselves, making t harder to ‘let go’ in a healthy way. 

By contrast, overly affectionate and overly generous behaviour may seem pleasant, but are equally manipulative. 

As Netherlands-based clinical psychologist Alexander Burgemeester, founder of The Narcissistic Life, explains: ‘The aim of this is to make the recipient feel dependent on and obligated to the individual.’ 

It’s estimated that up to one in 20 people in the UK may suffer from the disorder to some degree, though some experts claim it is widely underdiagnosed meaning there could be many more narcissists among us. 

But the term gets thrown around so often that it can lose meaning—but for those whole live with a truly narcissistic partner, friend or flat mate, the experience is anything but meaningless. 

Specialists warn that narcissists can even be abusive—as their behaviour can manifest as a tendency to exploit or dismiss others’ needs. 

They can overreact to criticism, even if it’s constructive and coming from a place of care, and shift the blame to protect an extremely fragile self image, leaving those around them questioning reality.