It’s not uncommon for men’s sexual experiences to lose their spark occasionally, turning routine rather than exhilarating. Factors like work stress, daily obligations, and even streaming marathons can interfere, but there are ways to reignite the passion and enhance pleasure for both partners. Nathan Scott, a pelvic health physiotherapist and the clinical director of Men’s MOT, is dedicated to making men’s healthcare more accessible and stigma-free.

With over ten years of experience in improving men’s bladder, bowel, and sexual health, Nathan emphasizes that quality sleep, regular physical activity, and mastering breathing techniques can significantly enhance one’s sex life. Moreover, discussing sexual matters openly before engaging can also be beneficial.

Here, Nathan shares eight essential strategies to improve men’s performance in the bedroom.

1. TRAIN YOUR BODY

Engaging in physical activities such as pushing, pulling, lifting, and moving isn’t just about aesthetics or achieving gym milestones—it’s crucial for sustaining your health and sexual vitality over the long run. Exercise is a powerful tool for maintaining strong erections, high energy levels, and long-term performance. Resistance training, which involves lifting weights, promotes testosterone production, builds lean muscle, and enhances insulin sensitivity, all vital for preserving libido and erectile health as you age.

On the other hand, aerobic exercises like running, cycling, swimming, or even brisk walking help keep blood vessels flexible, lower blood pressure, and reduce the risk of heart disease. Since erectile function is tied to the same vascular system that supports your heart and brain, regular aerobic activity acts as a safeguard for your sex life.

Consistent exercise, when paired with adequate recovery, helps reduce chronic inflammation and decrease visceral fat, the internal fat that can disrupt hormones and increase aromatase activity, which converts testosterone into estrogen. In essence, every time you engage in physical activity, you’re not only building muscle but also ensuring your future ability to enjoy intimate moments.

Physical activity is one of the few proven interventions that extends both lifespan and health span. And erectile health is a fundamental biomarker of whether your body’s systems are working well.

2. MASTER YOUR BREATHING

Most men don’t realise they hold their breath during arousal – tight shoulders, shallow chest breathing, clenching – yet that’s exactly the mode that ramps up nerves, jolts the sympathetic system and can trigger early ejaculation. In contrast, diaphragmatic breathing – taking slow, deep breaths using the belly and diaphragm – helps keep nerves calm, blood flow steady, and gives you more control when it matters. A deep, intentional breath can work wonders.

Breath control directly influences the balance between the parasympathetic (rest and arousal) and sympathetic (stress and finish) nervous systems. Diaphragmatic breathing dials up parasympathetic tone, suppresses sympathetic overdrive and even improves the body’s ability to regulate blood pressure and circulation through what’s known as the baroreflex.

Think of the baroreflex as your body’s internal pressure gauge, constantly monitoring and adjusting so blood pressure stays in the right zone, resulting in sustained arousal. This kind of slow breathing lowers stress markers, heart rate and cortisol levels, creating a calmer physiological state that’s much more compatible with sustained arousal.

3. PRIORITISE SLEEP

It’s a little-known fact that the penis runs a “maintenance schedule” while men sleep. During REM sleep, the same phase when most dreaming occurs, the body triggers so-called housekeeping erections. These aren’t about arousal, they’re part of a vital biological system designed to keep the penile tissues healthy.

Each nocturnal erection acts like a mini workout, flooding oxygen-rich blood into the erectile tissue, nourishing cells, stretching smooth muscle and maintaining elasticity. Without this regular overnight oxygenation, penile tissue can gradually lose its responsiveness. Quality sleep is also the time when testosterone production peaks, with the majority of a man’s daily supply released during the night. Poor sleep not onlycuts into this hormone surge but also increases cortisol and inflammation, which blunt sexual function.

4. GET TO KNOW YOUR PELVIC FLOOR

Most men never think about their pelvic floor muscles, but they play a crucial role in sexual performance and pleasure. They help pump blood into the penis to create and maintain an erection, and coordinate with the nervous system to influence when you orgasm. The pelvic floor is a control centre you can actually train, if you learn how to use it properly.

The key is awareness of all states of the pelvic floor: contraction, relaxation and efficient release. Many men assume more tension equals more control, but it actually restricts blood flow into the penis, making erections weaker.

5. UPGRADE YOUR MENU TO UPGRADE ERECTIONS

Erections depend on healthy blood vessels and balanced hormones, which are directly shaped by your diet. Men who eat a healthy diet, like the Mediterranean diet, have a significantly lower risk of erectile dysfunction.

Conversely, diets high in inflammatory foods such as processed foods with refined carbohydrates and trans fats,are strongly linked with higher rates of erectile disfunction, independent of age or BMI. Eating to reduce chronic inflammation and visceral (belly) fat improves insulin sensitivity, optimises blood biomarkers and lowers aromatase activity – the enzyme produced in belly fat that transforms testosterone into oestrogen in men.

Erectile function is a vital sign of overall health. If blood flow and hormones are strong enough to support healthy erections, they’re supporting your overall heart and brain health too. Building meals around whole foods, like plenty of colourful vegetables, lean proteins, healthy fats, nuts and berries, forms the foundation of sexual health.

6. LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX

It might feel awkward at first, but initiating a conversation about sex, outside the bedroom, well before it happens is one of the most effective ways to build intimacy.

When you ask your partner what she enjoys, you shift the focus away from performance and towards genuine connection. Research has shown that sex is one of the least discussed and most difficult topics for couples to bring up. Yet when couples do talk about their sexual relationship, they consistently report higher levels of relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. It might feel awkward at first but initiating a conversation about sex before it happens is one of the most effective ways to build intimacy.

7. SWAP PORN FOR REAL SATISFACTION

Frequent porn use has been linked to lower sexual satisfaction and performance for many men, and too much exposure can desensitise the brain’s reward circuits, raise unrealistic expectations, and make it harder to respond to real intimacy. A “reset” period – reducing or abstaining for a few weeks – can help re-sensitise arousal to real partners, rebuild desire, and strengthen connection in relationships.

Large studies show that higher porn use is consistently associated with lower satisfaction and poorer sexual functioning in men.

8. STRESS WILL KILL OFF DESIRE

When you’re in “fight or flight” mode, blood and nerve activity are redirected to survival systems like muscles, heart and lungs, not the genitals. Erections and semen production rely heavily on the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and arousal), while ejaculation is triggered by the sympathetic system (fight, flight or finish).

A man caught in a sympathetic state often becomes a spectator of his performance, he’s not fully in the moment because he’s worrying about what happened before or what might happen again. Maybe he lost an erection last time, or climaxed too quickly, and now he’s on edge that it could repeat. This anxious mental loop only fuels the sympathetic system further, pushing him faster toward the point of no return.

In contrast, a man in a parasympathetic state is calm, engaged and present, making him more aware of what’s happening in his body. The practice is learning to stay in the moment, breathing, noticing and relaxing, instead of replaying the past or worrying about the future. This shift improves control and makes sex far more enjoyable.

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