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April Kelley, a talented actress and producer, faced a challenging journey before being diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 27, despite experiencing symptoms since she was 15. Her story is not uncommon, as individuals with bipolar disorder often endure a decade-long wait for an accurate diagnosis, which can jeopardize their careers, relationships, and even their lives.
At a recent event for Bipolar UK’s latest awareness initiative, spotlighted by her film “Maybe It’s Bipolar,” April recounted her experiences. “Receiving my diagnosis was a lifeline that I genuinely believe saved my life,” she revealed. “I first noticed symptoms at 15 and even attempted suicide. For 12 years, I felt lost and uncertain about my life. My early 20s were a blur, but after my diagnosis, it felt like my life truly began.”
April now channels her efforts into raising bipolar awareness, driven by a commitment to her younger self. “People often call it brave to speak out, but for me, it’s about reaching back to that 15-year-old girl. I never want anyone to feel the fear and isolation she experienced,” she shared.
Reflecting on her past, she added, “If I could speak to her, I’d say: ‘Hold on tight. The path will become clear, and you’ll find your fight.’ When I first told my dad about the diagnosis, his immediate response was, ‘I always knew there was a spark of genius in you.’ That belief has always been my guiding star.”
Having learned to navigate her condition, April emphasizes the importance of monitoring sleep patterns. “If there’s one thing to watch, it’s your sleep,” she advised. “My sleep patterns are a clear indicator of my mental state. On low days, I might sleep for 14 hours straight, while on high days, I barely sleep at all.”
“The best way to clock me and where I am is my sleeping pattern. On my low days I could sleep for 14 hours, not even need to wake up for a wee. And on my high days, I just don’t sleep.”
She’s also discovered the importance of leaning on her support network: “If you have the ability or the support network to flag it with someone. I’ve done it before, I’ve said; ‘Hey friend, I think I’m getting a bit manic’ and they say; ‘What do you want me to do?’”.
“I say; ‘Nothing, just flagging it.’ That is all you can do. As soon as you flagged it, they can see if you’re going off the rails or not, and then they can step in. Don’t stop me. But at least you know if I make a wrong turn or if I’ve made a poor decision if I’ve kissed the wrong person, you know to then step in.”
Whilst bipolar disorder is characterised by extreme mood swings, April stresses it’s far more complex than simply feeling happy one moment and sad the next. She describes her highs and lows as intensely “visceral”.
She added: “For the low days, if I don’t nip it in the bud, it’s quicksand. As soon as I’m under, I’m down for the count. One of the ways I would describe my high days is, you know that feeling just as someone’s made you jump. Or just as you’re about to go over the top of a log floom. It’s that constantly. It’s a literal vibration.”
Despite the risks, April confessed that she “hates to admit” that these highs can sometimes be enjoyable. This is one of the challenges in getting a diagnosis as many individuals only consult their GPs about the lows and not the highs.
She revealed: “I get so much done. I can get a week’s worth of work done in a day. No kidding. In all honesty, why would you want to be going to the doctors when you feel like that?”.
Bipolar UK estimates that over half of people in the UK with bipolar disorder remain undiagnosed. The charity’s latest campaign aims to raise awareness of the lesser-known symptoms and the free online test that can help individuals determine whether they might have the condition.
If this piece has affected you and you want to talk to someone, there are helplines and support groups available, many of them 24/7.
- Samaritans (116 123 in UK and Ireland) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org. Anyone can contact Samaritans FREE any time from any phone on 116 123, even a mobile without credit. This number won’t show up on your phone bill.
- PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is a voluntary organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.
- Mind (0300 123 3393) is a charity based in England providing advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. They campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding.
- Bipolar UK provides support groups, communities, online resources and a one-to-one peer support line to help people with bipolar.