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Ah, the festive season of Christmas parties is upon us. It’s that dazzling time filled with glitter, bubbly drinks, and unexpected dance moves—a period where the polished persona you’ve meticulously crafted over months can unravel in mere moments due to a poorly-timed remark or an awkward romantic gesture. This week marks the beginning of the party frenzy for many. Are you ready to dive in?

Considering the potential hits to one’s reputation, especially for those who find it tough to moderate their intake of complimentary drinks, it might feel more like argh, party season. The combination of perpetual hangovers, lack of sleep, and seasonal illnesses mingles with an endless supply of mince pies and Mariah Carey tunes, leaving many feeling less than stellar by Christmas. Or perhaps it resonates more as bah (humbug), party season. A recent survey revealed that the majority of British employees would prefer additional pay over workplace celebrations.

Does this mean we should abandon the tradition altogether? Should we acknowledge that the times have shifted? It appears that fewer people are keen on getting intoxicated, especially with coworkers who they now only see a couple of times a week.

Definitely not—and for more than just the juicy gossip and the tax benefits of HMRC’s “annual party” exemption (which truly exists). The Christmas party transcends a mere tax incentive; it’s a cultural staple and one of the rare occasions when we genuinely connect with others, whether they are colleagues, clients, or potential romantic interests. We shouldn’t forgo such opportunities lightly.

Despite spending significant hours in virtual spaces together, it’s not as though we experience a sense of camaraderie in our everyday interactions—in fact, quite the reverse. Gallup’s “state of the global workplace 2025” report highlights that 22 percent of employees felt lonely for much of the previous day. A recent Office for National Statistics survey indicates that one in four British adults often or always feels lonely, or at least some of the time.

And the most lonely? It’s not the old, who are more likely to be unable to go out and see people, but the young: 16- to 29-year-olds are the most lonely (40 per cent of them), followed by 30- to 49-year-olds. Younger people are also increasingly turning to artificial intelligence for emotional support: a poll by Common Sense Media in July found 72 per cent of US teens had used AI chatbots as “companions”. And while modest use might help alleviate feelings of loneliness, research suggests that heavy users are more likely to feel isolated. 

The annual end-of-year bash is the perfect time to build some human connection — not just because of the way that booze can allow us to let our guard down (sometimes a little too far). This time of year carries a sense of winding down, as well as a focus on family, friends, love, the things that really matter. For some, that makes it a very special period; for others, the glaring lack of these things can make it acutely painful. But while a summer party might be all about “networking” (shudder) and showing off the more polished, sun-kissed versions of ourselves, the Christmas party brings a unique opportunity for bonding.

What that requires, though, is something that some of us are reluctant to show: vulnerability. Often we have been put off after experiencing what the social researcher and author Brené Brown has termed the “vulnerability hangover”: the regret, anxiety and shame we can feel after opening up to someone else and sharing our innermost fears, desires and difficulties.

But while it can feel profoundly uncomfortable to share our emotions, what you are doing by being vulnerable is making it possible for others to do the same. That is invaluable. Because vulnerability is not something that should give us the ick. Rather, as Brown argues in her 2012 book Daring Greatly, it is “the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity”. (Such words might also give you the ick, particularly if you are an emotionally repressed Brit, but that doesn’t stop them from being true.)

In a study of 1,000 US adults in Nature last month, researchers found that “the strength of a new emotional bond can be predicted by measures of the vulnerability that each of two persons shows with respect to one another”. In other words, if we don’t reveal ourselves, we cannot hope to truly connect with others — as Brown warns, protecting ourselves from being vulnerable is “a measure of our fear and disconnection”.

We need to get better at leaning into discomfort of all varieties, including the emotional type. Consider this party season high time to do so. If you’re not suffering from a vulnerability hangover, you might not be doing it right.

jemima.kelly@ft.com