AMANDA PLATELL: The selfish truth about Harry and Meghan's return

The revelation that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are preparing to come back to the UK has caught almost everyone off guard.

What is even more remarkable is the suggestion that King Charles himself was left in the dark until just three days beforehand, reportedly being told only on Sunday evening that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were heading back.

It raises uncomfortable questions. Why would a son delay telling his unwell father something so significant? Why was the matter not raised when the couple saw the King at Highgrove in July? And did Harry and Meghan understand the shockwaves their decision would send through the Royal Family?

The timing feels especially insensitive given the likely fallout. Their return to Britain threatens to stir up painful, unresolved tensions between the Sussexes and the Prince and Princess of Wales.

By making the disclosure just before Prince William and Princess Kate travelled to Balmoral, where senior royals traditionally gather for their summer break, what should have been a family holiday may instead have become an urgent royal crisis meeting.

This was plainly not a spur-of-the-moment decision. After all, finding a new base in England and arranging British schools for Archie, seven, and Lilibet, five, would have required serious preparation. Yet the secrecy will feel familiar to royal watchers, recalling the abrupt way Harry and Meghan left for North America with minimal warning to Queen Elizabeth II.

King Charles only found out about Harry and Meghan's UK return last Sunday evening

King Charles was reportedly told only last Sunday evening that Harry and Meghan were returning to the UK

As for the King, one can only imagine his reaction. Those close to Harry have suggested he wants to rebuild trust with his father, but after a move handled in this way, it is hard to see how Charles, Queen Camilla, William or Kate could feel confident placing their faith in him again.

At least Charles has insisted that the institution of the monarchy won’t change, that William and his family will always come first because he is the heir to the throne, and there will be no half-in half-out status for the Sussexes.

But the drama must have hurt him. And while his loving heart may welcome the prodigal son’s return, his head will surely be filled with foreboding.

Insiders believe Meghan wants to be in a West End play on her return to the UK. I suggest One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest playing Nurse Ratched, who dealt with lobotomised patients. With such a dim-witted husband, she’d know what to do.

Tragic Hayden

Nashville star Hayden Panettiere died last Sunday aged 36 of a suspected drug overdose

Nashville star Hayden Panettiere died last Sunday aged 36 of a suspected drug overdose

Two weeks before she died of a suspected overdose aged 36, troubled actress Hayden Panettiere posed for a campaign for animal charity Peta in a bath, saying: ‘Imagine spending your entire life in a bathtub.’ She was calling for an end to the cruel practice of keeping whales and dolphins at theme parks, and added: ‘Can you imagine their frustration, their trauma, their depression?’ 

Call me a cynic but, in my book, the loved-up holiday selfies of Lewis Hamilton and his latest squeeze Kim Kardashian don’t pass the sniff test. Yes, he has a long list of rich and famous women he’s supposedly squired, including Nicole Scherzinger, Rita Ora and Rihanna, and all of those relationships sparked internet speculation that has kept him in the headlines. But I’m not sure the diminutive fashion icon has ever quite made it to the winner’s podium of true love.

Westminster Wars

  • After she was forced to leave the Cabinet in a row over stamp duty, Angela Rayner earned £170,000 as a backbencher, mostly from speaking engagements. Yes, the same honest Ange, now on a salary of £166,104, who once said: ‘Being an MP isn’t a second job. It is the job. Labour will put an end to it.’ But not to her hypocrisy.
  • Andy Burnham defends pamphlets for asylum seekers, telling them not to rape women and girls, nor to hit their wives. Will it make any difference given that most illegal migrants are from countries such as Pakistan, Eritrea and Iran – which have records of appalling treatment of women.

Harris Dickinson as John Lennon in Sam Mendes' Beatles biopic

Harris Dickinson as John Lennon in Sam Mendes’ Beatles biopic

Kristofer Hivju as Tormund Giantsbane in Game Of Thrones

Kristofer Hivju as Tormund Giantsbane in Game Of Thrones

We Beatles fans cried Help! in sheer disbelief on seeing early images from Sam Mendes’ four-film biopic of the Fab Four. John, Paul, Ringo and George were crossing Abbey Road looking nothing like the smart, suited stars who appeared on their album of the same name but as if they’d had a very hard day’s night. They were led by a John Lennon (above left) with a weird orange beard and hair, who looked like a cross between Game Of Thrones’ Tormund (Kristofer Hivju) and Charles Manson. 

Among the avalanche of Instagram images Victoria Beckham posted from her family’s holiday – including a snap of her with her favourite prawn salad – up pops one of her looking so thin that her collar bones are poking out as she sunbathes. Perhaps it was just bad lighting or maybe Vic, 52, needs to throw a few more prawns on the barbie. 

Pride of place for Lions 

Amazing reviews for the new Disney+ series Lion, which traces a pride in Kenya for four years. It’s a cross between The Lion King and Attenborough. What a relief from most offerings these days, not least Ridley Scott’s new movie The Dog Stars, which is set in a post-apocalyptic world after a virus wipes out most of humanity. Yawn. 

Oh, I do love a good Tinder Swindler scandal! The latest involves Joseph Gibson, 35, who conned £68,000 from gullible women – two of whom he met on the Tinder app – after pretending he was a multimillionaire with a yacht. He told one he had cancer and needed emergency money for treatment. Rule one regarding any man you meet online: the moment he asks for cash, report him to the police and include his screenshot and mobile number. Gibson was given three years. No doubt he’s updating his Tinder profile in jail. 

Air-sea rescue for lucky Reg

Harry and Meghan’s Return Exposes a Selfish Royal Truth

Happy ending of the week. A barn owl who lost his way and flew 80 miles off the Norfolk coast collapsed into an Army boat taking part in a race. He is now in the care of the Barn Owl Trust.

In Hindu tradition barn owls symbolise good luck. And Reg, the name given to him by the soldiers who saved him, certainly benefitted from it that day.

I salute Emma

The BBC’s Today programme presenter Emma Barnett reveals she’s reluctantly had a hysterectomy aged 41, having endured the pain of endometriosis for years. Like the rest of the 1.5million UK women who’ve suffered from this condition, I salute you, Emma. I fled to Aussie for my hysterectomy also aged 41, knowing I’d be able to recover there in peace with my family. When I came back to London much thinner, my friends all assumed I’d had a facelift!

Strictly pro dancer Vito Coppola has a food book coming out, Love, Vito. Sorry Vito, the only book we fans want is Giovanni Pernice’s Gio: Taking The Lead, serialised in today’s Daily Mail. He reveals his truth about being kicked off Strictly following bullying claims by Amanda Abbington – after she was recorded crying to Gio: ‘I know I’m a nightmare.’

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