A 47-year-old New York mother is fighting for the chance to have a second child as she remains locked in a contentious legal dispute with her estranged husband over a frozen embryo they created together.
Erin Millender spent years undergoing in vitro fertilization (IVF) after being told she was infertile and fearing she might never become a mother. In September, she gave birth to a daughter using one of the embryos she and her husband, Adam Rubin, created, ABC News reported.
Millender, a senior attorney at AI and software infrastructure company Hyperscience, and Rubin began IVF treatment soon after marrying, following her infertility diagnosis.
The process placed immense strain on their relationship. Rubin, 45, who works in the HVAC industry, filed for divorce in June 2023, he told the outlet.
Millender understood that their marriage needed space, but said she was stunned when Rubin decided he wanted to end the relationship altogether.
‘I think we were both really struggling under the weight of all the pressure. I knew we needed a break in some way. In my mind, that meant going to our respective corners of the house, taking personal time to reflect and settle our nervous systems,’ Millender said.
Before the divorce proceedings got underway, the couple learned that two embryos were viable. Millender then moved quickly to have one transferred, despite Rubin’s objections.
Rubin said Millender told him she planned to stop attending couples therapy before undergoing the embryo transfer on her own.
Erin Millender, 47, gave birth to a baby girl in September after using one of two embryos she and her estranged husband, Adam Rubin, created
Millender and Rubin began IVF treatment immediately after marrying, following her infertility diagnosis. He later filed for divorce (source: LinkedIn)
‘In June 2023, I let her know that she should find [legal] counsel [for a divorce]. I revoked my consent to use the embryo,’ he recalled.
Despite Rubin’s attempts to block the transfer, a Brooklyn court ruled in Millender’s favor in December 2025, granting her possession of both embryos, according to the report.
‘The judge’s ruling turned on a number of factors, the most crucial of which seemed to be that time is not biologically equal,’ Millender told the outlet.
‘Medically, I was told that these embryos were my only realistic chance of being a biological mother.’
New York law treats an embryo as unique biological material with a ‘special character.’ Courts also consider any written agreements the parties signed before making a decision.
Millender and Rubin signed two agreements with the NYU Langone Fertility Clinic. Under the first, signed in 2021, they agreed that the embryos would be donated for scientific research if they legally separated or divorced.
A second agreement, signed in 2023, stated that the embryo would be transferred to ‘the partner stipulated in the divorce or dissolution settlement or other binding agreement,’ according to the publication.
Rubin said he was shocked when he learned that the court had awarded Millender control of the embryos.
Before divorce proceedings began, the couple learned they had two viable embryos. Millender soon underwent a transfer procedure despite Rubin’s objection, and a New York court later granted her custody of the embryos
‘My heart sank. Never at any point did I think I was signing these contracts and that they should protect me from being in a situation where I don’t have control of my own genetic material,’ Rubin said.
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His attorney, Morgan Mazor, told ABC News that the case could have far-reaching implications for reproductive rights.
‘The law right now is very clear: it’s the contract. The law has been so clear because [the courts] don’t want to touch the issue of whether or not this property should be given this special consideration,’ Mazor explained.
‘In New York, you’re allowed to get an abortion. If we start saying, “We have to give it special consideration because there’s going to be a child,” we are creating a platform for somebody to say, “If it’s a child in a divorce situation, why isn’t it a child for an abortion situation?”‘
Millender is a senior attorney at AI and software infrastructure company Hyperscience
Rubin appealed the ruling, but by then Millender was already pregnant with one of the embryos.
The pair appeared in court in mid-March, where Rubin saw Millender pregnant, she told The New York Times in May. She said her attorney had informed Rubin of the pregnancy the day before the hearing.
Rubin initially thought she had met someone new and was happy for her. Then, he said, he realized what had happened.
‘And within a few seconds, I realized what happened. And there is no way to describe that feeling,’ he recalled.
After welcoming her first child, Millender said she intends to try to have a second baby using the remaining embryo.
‘While the idea of being a single mom of two over 50 is very daunting, it was always my intention to give both of these embryos a chance at life,’ she said.
‘I still feel incredibly bonded to those lives.’
Millender and Rubin’s divorce remains unresolved, while their dispute over the embryos has become increasingly complex.
‘My life has basically been on hold, with more questions than answers. It’s tough to heal from all this when you’re still stuck in the middle of it,’ Rubin said.
Millender acknowledged that the past several years have been painful and were not ‘the circumstances that I had ever hoped to bring a child into the world under.’
Millender and Rubin’s divorce remains unresolved, and their legal dispute has grown more complicated. She plans to try for a second child using the remaining embryo (Source: GoFundMe)
‘I have a lot of regret about that. But now is when I focus on making sure that I do everything I can to let my child know that they were made with love and intentionality and to give them the most joyful life that I can,’ she added.
Before giving birth to ‘Baby Girl Millender,’ Millender launched a GoFundMe page, she said.
On October 21, she announced that her daughter had been born and thanked donors for their support.
‘For now, we’re safe and surrounded by family. But our joy is tempered by the reality that we still have no permanent home secured beyond the end of this year. If you feel moved to continue sharing our story and this fundraiser, it would mean the world to us,’ Millender wrote.
Our News Outlet contacted Millender and Mazor for comment.
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