Amanda Kloots has been reflecting on her husband Nick Cordero’s legacy ever since he died earlier this week from complications of COVID-19.
And the fitness personality is focusing on their son Elvis, as well as her own grief process during the difficult time.
She posted a video Thursday to her Instagram Story about her emotional struggle following their loss, after she penned a heartfelt letter to her baby boy.
Grieving: Amanda Kloots posted a video Thursday to her Instagram Story about her grief following the loss of husband Nick Cordero, after she penned a heartfelt letter to her baby boy
The 38-year-old was in a peaceful mindset with a glass of red wine and a gorgeous view as she began to write the note.
She shared a glimpse of the letter, which read: ‘We must look for the silver linings in life son. Life is never perfect, things happen we will never understand. Look for lessons, keep moving, find the beauty.’
Kloots then opened up in a video: ‘You know, it’s so funny because grief is such a weird thing, and I’ve talked about everything else about this process. So, it feels oddly wrong not to talk and acknowledge about grief.’
She continued: ‘I just start to question myself about everything I’m experiencing right now, and how my day-to-day is so crazy, and so busy, and dealing with so much still, and how I’m able to do that. But am I also acknowledging everything that has happened and acknowledging my sadness? And it often times doesn’t hit me until at night when I’m going to sleep.
To Elvis: She wrote in the letter: ‘We must look for the silver linings in life son. Life is never perfect, things happen we will never understand. Look for lessons, keep moving, find the beauty’
Weird thing: Kloots then opened up in a video: ‘You know, it’s so funny because grief is such a weird thing, and I’ve talked about everything else about this process. So, it feels oddly wrong not to talk and acknowledge about grief’
No right answer: She continued: ‘I don’t know if there’s a right answer. I don’t think there is a right answer to grief or how someone grieves or the process you go. You know, that’s different for everybody and everybody’s personalities, and when and how it hits you’
‘I don’t know if there’s a right answer. I don’t think there is a right answer to grief or how someone grieves or the process you go. You know, that’s different for everybody and everybody’s personalities, and when and how it hits you.’
The mother-of-one also reminded her 554,000 followers to stay safe: ‘Just be responsible, because it’s the only way we will ever end this, and that we will ever be able to move forward as a race, as a human race.’
She previously recounted a moving story from earlier in the day about Elvis, one, as he dealt with the absence of his father.
Kloots said the adorable tot tried to give his dad some sweet kisses while watching an old video of him: ‘I was showing Elvis videos of Nick, and this one video was Nick talking, like leaving a voicemail message for a friend, but he had it saved on his phone.
‘And Elvis saw it and smiled and — I’m not even kidding you — leans in to the phone to give his dad a kiss, and then kept going. I kept playing the video again and he kept trying to press the button, and he just kept going in and out, kissing the phone and kissing his dad.
‘My heart, of course, just melted, but in a way, it just made me feel so good because it made me feel like he recognizes Nick. He knows who he is and he recognizes his dad, even though it’s been over three months.’
Kloots included another video in her Insta Stories of Elvis totally absorbed in a video his father.
Proud mom: She previously recounted a moving story from earlier in the day about Elvis, one, as he dealt with the absence of his father
Kisses for Nick: Kloots said the adorable tot tried to give his dad some sweet kisses while watching an old video of him: ‘It just made me feel so good because it made me feel like he recognizes Nick. He knows who he is and he recognizes his dad, even though it’s been over three months’
Daddy’s boy: Kloots included another video in her Insta Stories of Elvis totally absorbed in a video his father
‘Can you give da-da a kiss?’ Amanda asked off screen, though her son wasn’t up for it at the moment.
Cordero died on Sunday at age 41, after spending 94 days in the hospital, due to COVID-19 complications.
Kloots told People: ‘I’m heartbroken. As a husband, I don’t think a day went by that he didn’t say to me, “I’m the luckiest.” Words can’t describe how much I will miss him, his presence, his voice.’
She continued: ‘My husband was a very special man. He was everyone’s friend. We taught each other things, challenging each other to grow. We loved to sing and dance wherever we were. Just looking at him doing the simplest things would bring a smile to my face.’
Shortly before his death, Amanda said she planned to refinance their home in Los Angeles to cover the hospital bills which had already begun to stream in.
But the generosity of Nick’s fans and close friends like Zach Braff may help her cover the expenses.
As of Thursday, a GoFundMe set up to cover Nick’s medical bills had reached over $1 million, more than double the original $480,000 goal.
RIP: Cordero died on Sunday at age 41, after spending 94 days in the hospital, due to COVID-19 complications (pictured in August, 2019)
