Azealia Banks left her fans concerned on Saturday night after she shared a series of text posts to Instagram that suggested she planned to end her own life.
The 29-year-old rapper followed up the posts with audio messages shared to her Instagram Stories on Sunday in which she expressed plans to ‘euthanize’ herself after she finished the music she is currently working on.
The troubling messages arrived a week after she filmed herself shaving her head in order to ‘feel fresh again’ after ‘years of trauma and drama.’
Cry for help: Azealia Banks, 29, left her fans concerned after sharing a series of text posts to Instagram on Saturday that suggested she planned to end her own life; pictured in 2017
Earlier on Saturday, Azealia seemed positive if a bit distracted as she showed off a couch that she said was a fixture of her life while recording her Broke With Expensive Taste album.
Another video featured her showing off her new speaker setup with her computer, where she could work on her music.
But she followed the innocuous videos up with multiple concerning text posts.
‘Yea, I think I’m done here,’ she began. ‘This pandemic, extreme lack of social interaction, no intimacy, combined with constant public ridicule is making life harder that its worth.
‘I think I will end my tenure here on earth soon,’ she wrote.
Lonely: She blamed her current negative feelings on the loneliness of the pandemic and said she would end her ‘tenure here on earth soon’
Azealia tried to calm her readers, though she didn’t back away from the implications of her first post.
‘I’m not begging for attention or asking for sympathy/empathy……. I’m just ready to go. Peacefully of course,’ she continued.
‘I will document my last times and release a film for you all to finally understand me, From my perspective.’
Her follow-up sounded more dispirited. ‘My soul is tired. I’m ready to go.’
‘I’m just ready to go’: Azealia tried to calm her readers, though she didn’t back away from the implications of her first post
Giving up: Her follow-up sounded more dispirited
Though she seemed to indicate a desire to end her own life, she also promised to complete her ongoing music beforehand.
‘I will try my best to finish the projects I promised I would beforehand. With whatever strength Is left,’ she wrote.
She concluded the messages with a request for fans to leave her alone.
‘Please don’t bombard me with messages. I am not in pain. I am at peace,’ she wrote, concluding with a candle emoji.
Work: Though she seemed to indicate a desire to end her own life, she also promised to complete her ongoing music beforehand
All Alone: She concluded the messages with a request for fans to leave her in peace
If Banks soft-pedaled her message at first, she was even more direct in a chilling audio message she posted early Sunday morning.
‘I just had a friend come and do a welfare check on me. I’m fine, I promise you, I’m fine. I’m not scared,’ she said in posts over a black background.
‘But my decision is made. The decision is made, you know. I’m just gonna try to push through these next couple months. Business and pleasure, you know,’ she continued, before listing the albums she wanted to finish.
Banks’ voice sounded tired and she slurred her speech at times, though it wasn’t clear if she had been using alcohol or other substances or was merely tired.
She made her plans in the text posts even more explicit.
‘I’m gonna, like, start looking for voluntary euthanasia options. Because, you know, I don’t have any more defense. I don’t.
Concerned friends: Banks revealed that a friend had done a wellness check on her in audio messages from Sunday morning. She said she planned to seek ‘voluntary euthanasia’ once she was able; shown in 2019
‘Being ridiculed, having my ideas stolen, all that other s***. I’d actually rather die a hero than some b**** that people continue to make fun of,’ she admitted.
‘And this is not about all the people, it’s just about my body and what I need to do to rest my soul, so I can come back stronger.
‘Please, please, please don’t get in my DMs, don’t send me messages,’ she begged her fans, and possibly her friends and family.
‘I know, that’s fine, you love me, that’s great, but don’t send me messages about how you care. When I’m in trouble, when I’ve been, like, screaming and shouting that I’ve been in trouble for a long time, and asking for help for a long time. Don’t just respond to me when I’m ready to go.
‘I’m really just ready to go. I’m ready to go,’ she mumbled.
‘But I do feel an obligation to myself, the world, and my fans to finish that last trilogy of projects before I go. They may sound like f***ed up. They may not be mixed and mastered properly.
‘But I’ve gotta get out of here. I’ve gotta get out of here.’
Cut off: She criticized her friends and family for ignoring cries for help and told fans not to contact her. ‘I’m really just ready to go. I’m ready to go,’ she mumbled; shown in 2015
A week before her posts, Banks documented herself shaving off her hair on Instagram.
She went from her natural bob-length locks to a closely-buzzed look in a matter of minutes after saying she mostly ‘wears wigs anyway.’
‘I gotta get real drunk first. I’m going to drink me some wine and get real drunk and just shave it off and just do it,’ she told her 646,000 followers.
‘Rejuvenating’: The hip-hop star publicly shaved off her natural, bob-length locks on Saturday night in order to ‘feel fresh again’ after ‘years of trauma and drama’
‘Look, I’m really just trying to simplify my life right now and just feel beautiful you know? I like my [acrylic] nails and I can’t braid my hair with these nails. And the way these coronavirus f***ing cases are going around I’m very scared to have somebody come braid or take care of my natural hair and do my hair.’
Banks continued: ‘All this stress energy and break-up energy…I’m about to have my Britney Spears moment. I feel like Britney, b**** on some 2007 s***, I’m gonna shave my head b****, just to feel fresh again.’
The impromptu haircut instantly drew comparisons to Britney Spears’ infamous head shaving incident, which was one of the early signs of a mental health crisis that dogged the pop star.
If you or anyone you know is dealing with suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, text ‘STRENGTH’ to the Crisis Text Line or click here.
Precedent: The impromptu haircut instantly drew comparisons to Britney Spears’ infamous head shaving incident, which was one of the early signs of a mental health crisis that dogged the pop star