AMANDA PLATELL: Women are judgmental in a way men rarely are
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She flew in by private jet on what was said to be a private visit. But inevitably the pictures of Meghan laying flowers at the memorial of the Texas school massacre went round the world.

Despite being there incognito, her huge security detail gave the game away at the memorial set up by grieving parents. Pan out from the pics of a tearful Megs kneeling in humility like Mother Teresa and there is an army of photographers and film crews capturing every soulful moment.

AMANDA PLATELL: Women are judgmental in a way men rarely are

AMANDA PLATELL: Women are judgmental in a way men rarely are

AMANDA PLATELL: Women are judgmental in a way men rarely are

All very moving — and perhaps consoling for many of those poor, grieving parents. But her sudden arrival — she got there before even President Biden — makes me worry she and Harry could do something to overshadow the Royal Family when they land in the UK next week for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee.

Meghan could have done it another way. She says she was there in her ‘personal capacity as a mother’. Perhaps it would have been better, then, to have arranged to privately meet the mothers of the murdered children instead of appearing so poignantly in front of the world’s Press.

Compare this with Kate, our future Queen, when last year she visited the South London vigil for murdered Sarah Everard with one female protection officer, quietly laying daffodils handpicked from her home. No photo op. Just a bystander who caught the visit on a mobile phone.

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, places flowers as she mourns at a makeshift memorial outside Uvalde County Courthouse in Uvalde, Texas

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, places flowers as she mourns at a makeshift memorial outside Uvalde County Courthouse in Uvalde, Texas

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, places flowers as she mourns at a makeshift memorial outside Uvalde County Courthouse in Uvalde, Texas

I believe I speak for many when I say: Harry and Meghan, you are not welcome. Please just stay away.

Let’s hope that in the midst of her mercy dash, Megs also found time to visit her seriously-ill father.

Since the Duchess of Hypocrisy hasn’t to our knowledge seen her dad since before her marriage, I’m not holding my breath.

Prince Charles, Prince of Wales speaks with Prince William, Duke of Cambridge

Prince Charles, Prince of Wales speaks with Prince William, Duke of Cambridge

Prince Charles, Prince of Wales speaks with Prince William, Duke of Cambridge

Remember how she and Harry laid a wreath at Los Angeles national cemetery on Remembrance Day last year — and happened to have a personal photographer in tow?

Given that kind of form, I shudder to think what Megs might have dreamed up to grab the Jubilee limelight. I’d remind her the coming days are a celebration of the indefatigable Queen who has dedicated her life to service, not self-service.

Having abandoned their royal duties and Britain, vilified the ‘racist’ Royal Family and heaped opprobrium on Prince William and Prince Charles, what right do the Sussexes even have to be here?

Will Oprah Winfrey fly in with them to rain on the Queen’s parade?

I believe I speak for many when I say: Harry and Meghan, you are not welcome. Please just stay away.

 Put ’em away, Naomi

Naomi Campbell turned up three hours late for a Cannes film premiere but still mesmerised in a midnight blue feathered Valentino gown with two vertical slivers of fabric barely covering her breasts. Maybe when you’re a diva no one has the courage to say: ‘Sweetie, you may be a supermodel, but at 52 it’s hard for any woman to pull off the side boob.’ 

Naomi Campbell attends the screening of "Decision To Leave (Heojil Kyolshim)" during the 75th annual Cannes film festival at Palais des Festivals in Cannes, France

Naomi Campbell attends the screening of "Decision To Leave (Heojil Kyolshim)" during the 75th annual Cannes film festival at Palais des Festivals in Cannes, France

Naomi Campbell attends the screening of “Decision To Leave (Heojil Kyolshim)” during the 75th annual Cannes film festival at Palais des Festivals in Cannes, France

 Sturgeon’s no Maggie

Despite its public deficit more than doubling over the past year to £36 billion, Scotland celebrates Nicola Sturgeon’s near eight years in office as leader and comparisons are made with Margaret Thatcher, who was PM for 11 years.

The only thing that overstuffed little haggis has in common with Lady T is helmet hair.

The Iron Lady? With that garish orange colour Sturgeon’s more like The Irn Bru Lady.

 Double fault for Emma

As Emma Raducanu crashes out of the French Open in the second round, veteran John McEnroe blames her poor form on her ‘revolving door’ of coaches and wryly observes: ‘If I won the U.S. Open, I wouldn’t change my coach for a year . . . obviously her parents are involved and they know more than I know.’

John McEnroe blames Emma Raducanu poor form on her ‘revolving door’ of coaches after she crashes out of the French Open

John McEnroe blames Emma Raducanu poor form on her ‘revolving door’ of coaches after she crashes out of the French Open

John McEnroe blames Emma Raducanu poor form on her ‘revolving door’ of coaches after she crashes out of the French Open

Or is it that our Em didn’t have time to prepare properly as she was too busy doing a fashion shoot for the cover of Elle magazine bedecked in Dior, just one of her multi-million pound sponsors?

 My green-fingered mother Norma, famous back home for her roses and agapanthus beds, would have been as appalled by the Chelsea Flower Show’s winning ‘Rewilding’ garden as I was. We, too, had a rickety shed next to a pond — favoured by mosquitoes, rats and the odd snake — in an area full of weeds and piles of sticks in Australia. We called it the swamp.

Despite rave reviews, I’ve one small bone to pick with creators of the ‘ABBA-tars’ who claim they’ve religiously replicated what the band looked like in the 1970s. If so, why is Agnetha so skinny? Why airbrush the most idolised thighs in pop? 

 Ray was a goodfella

Classic: Ray with Lorraine Bracco

Classic: Ray with Lorraine Bracco

Classic: Ray with Lorraine Bracco

 Can there be any woman of a certain age with a beating heart who didn’t fall in love with Ray Liotta as Henry Hill in the classic gangster movie Goodfellas, and doesn’t feel deeply saddened by his sudden death aged just 67?

They say there’s no suspicion of foul play. Bet the man who put more menace and sexuality into the Mafia than any don is disappointed with that.

 While lamenting having casual sex with more women than he can remember, Rod Stewart can’t have any regrets over his first sexual encounter — with an older woman he met aged 16 in the beer tent at a music festival — which lasted four seconds and inspired Maggie May. That 1971 single has coined in £250,000 each year, which by my maths adds up to a meaningless four seconds making him nearly £13 million — and finally must lay to bed the lie in the lyrics: ‘Maggie, I wished I’d never seen your face.’

 Westminster Wars

Angela Rayner’s face was a picture of dejection after the Sue Gray report. Even her fake curly hair extensions had drooped. In the end, there was no silver bullet to take out Boris, just a red-faced Starmer firing back blanks and awaiting the verdict on his own alleged partying. 

 Another loser was Dominic Cummings, a rule-breaker himself. He said he’d warned the PM the No 10 party broke regulations. But Gray’s report found no ‘documentary evidence’. Time for a drive to Barnard Castle, Dom, to test out your memory.

Labour and the Left’s livid outrage — from the politicos to the Guardian and the BBC — over Boris escaping Partygate reminds us of when they were defeated in the Brexit vote. Get over it. You lost, the Right won, suck it up and stop whingeing.

 Victorious, happy and glorious 

After overcoming our council’s draconian regulations, including a ‘terrorist threat’ analysis, we are getting ready for our Jubilee street party. My contribution is a garland featuring 14 pictures of Her Maj in a glorious array of hats. It will adorn my windows, along with 30 yards of Union Jack bunting. Vulgar? OTT? Only when I add the fairy lights. 

Great news that 13 years after his wife Jade Goody died, husband Jack Tweed, 34, has found love with Ellie Sargeant, 27. Only this week a godfather to one of her sons told me what a fantastic stepfather he’d been to Jade’s boys Bobby and Freddy. They were just five and four when Mum died, so it’s only right that all these years later there’s joy at last for Jack and the lads.

Discussing his own mortality on The One Show, Ricky Gervais says: ‘I’m old and fat and I’m going to die soon.’ Surely a joke, as I see him often happily and healthily walking on Hampstead Heath. He is trim for 60 and usually smiles and waves. As his new show SuperNature reveals, he’s one of the few anti-woke warriors left — the day this comic genius goes is the day the humour dies. 

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