In most real estate deals, once the check clears, the seller doesn’t much care what the new owner does with the place. But Gene Simmons isn’t most sellers.

The KISS frontman has just listed his ultramodern Beverly Hills mansion for $13.99 million, and he’s making it clear that he has some very specific requirements for whoever takes it off his hands. Chief among them? No partying, no substances, and absolutely no disrespecting the house he calls a sanctuary.

“You have such wonderful times there, you don’t want some schmuck in the place you call home,” Simmons told The Wall Street Journal. “No drugs, no alcoholics. I don’t want anybody coming in there who is going to destroy the place.“

So, ironically, potential buyers shouldn’t plan to rock and roll and party every night at this house.

Of course, when you’re worth $400 million, you can afford to be picky about who buys your house. Simmons co-founded KISS in the early 1970s and helped the band sell over 100 million records worldwide. But most of his fortune doesn’t come from music—it comes from turning KISS into one of the most merchandised brands in music history. Since the 1970s, the band’s likeness has appeared on over 5,000 licensed products, from lunch boxes and lighters to comic books, condoms, and even coffins. In April 2024, Simmons and bandmate Paul Stanley sold the rights to the KISS name, image, and catalog for $300 million.

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The 7,000-square-foot home, designed by architect Roger P. Kurath, features sleek lines, sharp angles, and cutting-edge tech—so much so that Simmons admits even he had trouble using it. Despite being built with the latest in smart home automation, Simmons found himself needing a low-tech workaround just to heat up food.

“It is like a 22nd-century house,” he said. “I had to go out and buy a simple microwave so that I could press one button and heat things up because the coffee maker, the cappuccino maker, the time machine—all that stuff was built into the wall—voice-activated, I might add—was so complex, I couldn’t make it work.“

Simmons and his wife, actress Shannon Tweed Simmons, bought the house in 2021 as a way to keep a base in Los Angeles after relocating to Las Vegas. But the Vegas experiment didn’t last.

“It was too hot,” Simmons said, bluntly.

Now back in California, the couple is downsizing—again. Over the last few years, they’ve reshuffled a massive portfolio of luxury real estate across North America. In 2020, Simmons listed his longtime Beverly Hills estate (famously featured on the family’s reality show) for $22 million. He ultimately sold it in 2021 for $16 million after spending more than $12 million renovating it over several decades. The sale was part of a planned move to a 24-acre estate near Whistler, British Columbia, where Simmons spent $4 million building Shannon’s dream home.

In 2021, they also paid $8.2 million for an 11,000-square-foot mansion in Henderson, Nevada, along with $2 million for the empty lot next door, which Gene turned into a fruit orchard with over 130 trees. But they barely lived there and ended up selling the property in 2023 for $11 million. Around the same time, they picked up a $5.8 million hilltop house in Malibu and, later that year, another smaller mansion in Beverly Hills for $10.5 million, which is the same one now listed for just under $14 million.

“I’m the most blessed human being on the planet. These hard times, you don’t want to say I have too many houses, but we have too many properties.“

Along with the futuristic appliances, the mansion boasts a home theater, an art gallery where Simmons displays his own paintings, and all the hallmarks of a rock god’s luxury retreat—just don’t expect him to sell it to someone looking to throw ragers.

Simmons didn’t specify how he plans to vet prospective buyers for character, but one thing is clear: whoever moves in will need to bring a clean lifestyle—and perhaps their own microwave.