Prince Andrew is reportedly preparing for a significant change, as he plans to move out of the expansive 30-room, 98-acre Royal Lodge. The Duke of York is rumored to be relocating to Frogmore Cottage, the former residence of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. This move will allow him to bring along his collection of teddy bears and even make use of the existing yoga studio on the property.

Andrew’s plans also involve his ex-wife, Sarah Ferguson, whom he wishes to settle into nearby Adelaide Cottage. This property will soon be vacated by Prince William, Kate Middleton, and their children. It appears Andrew is aiming for a strategic exchange, though one might doubt if he’s ever experienced shopping for deals at Tesco.

In a royal twist reminiscent of the popular TV show “Relocation, Relocation,” the Wales family is set to move to Forest Lodge. Described as their “forever home,” it is conveniently located just a short distance from Royal Lodge.

Speculation suggests that Prince William is a key figure encouraging Andrew’s departure. Determined to avoid having what is rumored to be his “beyond hideous” uncle as a neighbor, William seems keen on ensuring Andrew’s exit.

Kate Middleton also plays a crucial role in this royal real estate shuffle. Although not a blood relative of Andrew, she is deeply committed to safeguarding children. Reportedly, she is uneasy about residing near Royal Lodge, viewing it as a symbol of scandal that threatens the monarchy and her children’s future. Moreover, she is concerned about the impact of Andrew’s controversies on the lives of many young women.

She isn’t a blood relative of her husband’s creepy uncle. Her life’s work is to protect children. And apparently, she ‘shudders at the thought of living so close to Royal Lodge’. She doesn’t see this as just a scandal that threatens the Monarchy and therefore her offspring’s secure future, but as one that has already ruined the lives of scores of young women.

The way in which Andrew signed off his emails to Jeffrey Epstein – with ‘A, HRH, the Duke of York, KG’ – would alone make Kate shudder. She wears her titles lightly, can shrug them off like a too-heavy coat when kneeling to comfort children, or those suffering from cancer.

She no longer wants to rub padded shoulders with a man who spent time with an already convicted paedophile or his ex-wife, a woman who sent that paedophile toe-curlingly cringy emails, calling him her ‘supreme friend’. The former Duchess of York is now reported to be ‘on the edge… with nowhere to go or anyone else to go with’.

Apparently, the Princess of Wales ‘shudders at the thought of living so close to Royal Lodge’, writes Liz Jones

The Waleses are set to move to Forest Lodge, which is just a short trot along a tree-lined avenue from Royal Lodge, above

Prince Andrew is rumoured to be vacating Royal Lodge and moving to Frogmore Cottage – formerly the home of Harry and Meghan

Oh, boo hoo. And why, exactly, is the status of Eugenie and Beatrice to remain untouched? Andrew doubtless made the retention of their titles a condition of him getting on his knees to take the final reading of his electricity meter.

According to Maitlis on her podcast, The News Agents, there was pressure put on the princesses by William to persuade their father to move out in exchange for their status to remain unchanged, a claim disputed by royal sources. The King was reportedly due to drive to Royal Lodge on his return from Rome where he prayed with the Pope on Thursday to speak to his brother, but the visit was called off due to a media ‘circus’ (again royal sources deny this).

There is no doubt Kate will have strong views on this unfolding royal fiasco. 

She knows her power. Look at how swiftly, unflinchingly she saw off Meghan. Remember that icy stare when the formerly Fab Four did a walkabout before Queen Elizabeth’s funeral? She is like a lioness, protecting her territory. And anyone who can come through cancer is not to be messed with. Cancer survivors are the strongest people you will ever meet.

Charles has been slow to grasp the Andrew question. William has been, too. But like any mother of three children, Kate just wants it done. Today. To roll up her sleeves and clean the house, in more ways than one. As the only jewel left shining brightly in the Crown, what Kate wants, Kate gets.