Bachelor alum Rachael Kirkconnell has come forward about identifying as ‘demisexual’ following her surprising separation from Matt James.

The 29-year-old former reality TV contestant shared this personal revelation during a recent episode of the Extra Dirty podcast, hosted by Hallie Batchelder. “I believe that describes me,” Kirkconnell confessed to Batchelder.

Demisexuality refers to a sexual orientation where individuals only feel sexual attraction toward someone after establishing a deep emotional connection.

Batchelder expressed some confusion over the concept, commenting, “Shouldn’t everyone be demisexual?” and noting that it “sounds like a healthy approach.”

Kirkconnell elaborated, “I genuinely need to have an emotional bond with someone.”

She further explained, “I can’t imagine just going home with anyone. I need to feel secure and at ease with them, and I must be emotionally involved to the extent that I can picture us dating or at least have a crush on them. It’s not just about physical attraction for me.”

Bachelor star Rachael Kirkconnell, 29, revealed she is ‘demisexual’ after her shock split from Matt James, 33

‘I just feel like I do have to have an emotional connection with someone,’ she said on an episode of the Extra Dirty podcast this week; Seen with James in 2022

Batchelder then asked Kirkconnell if she felt an attraction to women as well, but the star said she was ‘confused’ about the difference between demisexual and pansexual. 

Pansexual is a sexual orientation where people are attracted to any gender.

Kirkconnell said she is more focused on the bond than the attraction. 

‘I can say, “Wow, that person is really attractive.” I obviously find them really attractive, I think they’re really hot, but I don’t care after that, cause they could still be like a terrible person or have the worst personality ever and that would make me not want to sleep with them because that totally turns me off.’

‘I guess their attraction can only get so far for me. Maybe that’s my problem, I don’t know.’

In February, James removed the breakup announcement that reportedly blindsided Kirkconnell from Instagram.

The 33-year-old former Bachelor star dated Kirkconnell for four years before their split in mid January.

At the end of the month she appeared on Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy podcast to talk about the dissolution of their relationship at length.

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation where a person experiences sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional bond with someone first

‘I just don’t think I could go home with anyone,’ she said. ‘I have to feel safe and comfortable with them and be emotionally invested at least in a way that I could see us dating or I at least have a crush on them,’ she told host Hallie Batchelder

The former Bachelor star dated Kirkconnell for four years before their split in mid January; They are pictured together

Now, there is so trace of the lengthy breakup news — which was written as a prayer — on his social media account.

Initially shared on January 16, Matt’s caption read: ‘Father God, give Rachael and I strength to mend our broken hearts. Give us a peace about this decision to end our relationship that transcends worldly understanding. Shower our friends and family with kindness and love to comfort us. And remind us that our Joy comes from you, Lord.’

The exes met during their turn on The Bachelor season 25, which aired in 2021.

Although she was the last woman standing, they did not get engaged at the end the season engaged and briefly parted ways due to resurfaced photos showing Kirkconnell’s involvement in an racist-themed college party.

At the time, she responded to widespread backlash in a statement that read: ‘While there have been rumors circulating, there have also been truths that have come to light that I need to address.

‘I hear you, and I’m here to say I was wrong. At one point, I didn’t recognize how offensive and racist my actions were, but that doesn’t excuse them. My age or when it happened does not excuse anything. They are not acceptable or OK in any sense. I was ignorant, but my ignorance was racist.’

On Call Her Daddy, Rachael laid out the reason for their breakup.

‘He said that at the end of the day there were just qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife. There are things that we aren’t compatible with and the whole accountability and saying sorry and all that was really the main thing,’ she explained.

In February, James removed the breakup announcement that reportedly blindsided Kirkconnell from Instagram 

The exes met during their turn on The Bachelor season 25, which aired in 2021

She continued, ‘It was just one of those things where he, I think, just had this realization that “I should want to propose to you by this time. Like, at this point in our relationship, I should be wanting those things and I should be ready for that. But I’m not still. I still don’t feel like we’re ready or I don’t feel like I’m ready. I don’t know if I ever see myself proposing to you. I can’t actually see myself married to you.”‘

Before he posted the news of their split online, Kirkonnell said: ‘He didn’t even text me to give me a warning, like, saying, “Hey, I’m posting this.”

‘It just hurt to know that’s how my friends found out and my family and my little sister. I didn’t get to talk to them about it or grieve privately for, like, a day.’

The reality television star added that she’s been in touch with James since the breakup and that there’s no chance of reconciliation.