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There is something incredibly frustrating about lying awake in the dark, watching the minutes tick by while it seems like the rest of the world is sound asleep. The harder you try to catch some sleep, the more it slips away from you.
Soon enough, you’re glancing at the clock again, calculating how many hours of rest you might get if you manage to fall asleep at once, which only aggravates the issue. Yoshi Kurihara, a sleep expert associated with the UK’s Cosybunks, a premium bunk retailer, notes that this nightly struggle is more common than people realize. He believes the key to overcoming it lies in what he refers to as the “15-minute rule”.
Yoshi advises: “After being in bed for roughly 15 minutes without falling asleep, get out of bed. Don’t insist on forcing sleep. Staying in bed awake actually trains your brain to link your bed with staying awake rather than sleeping, which is counterproductive.”
He stated that this simple method can reform the way your body connects with sleep: “When you leave the bed and relocate to a quiet area to read or listen to relaxing music, you disrupt the frustration and anxiety cycle keeping you awake. Return to bed once you feel sleepy again. This helps reestablish the connection between your bed and sleep.”
Try getting up
Paradoxically, getting up when you can’t sleep may improve your overall sleep quality. According to Yoshi, staying awake too long leads your brain to associate your bed with feelings of alertness and unease.
“Over time, this connection can exacerbate insomnia,” he remarked. “You find yourself stuck in a loop of anxiety, where worrying about sleep makes it harder to fall asleep.”
By stepping away from the situation, literally, you interrupt that mental loop. “Leaving the bedroom for a short while, maybe sitting in another dimly lit room, tells your body that the bed is for sleeping only,” Yoshi said.
“When you come back, your brain recognises it’s time to rest again, which makes drifting off much easier.”
This approach is grounded in stimulus control therapy, a validated cognitive behavioural technique frequently endorsed by sleep experts. It conditions your mind to associate particular cues – such as your bed – with specific behaviours – in this instance, sleeping. Over time, it can dramatically improve sleep quality.
Don’t watch the clock
One of the worst offenders behind restless nights is our fixation with the timepiece. Monitoring the digits tick by might seem innocent, but it’s actually stoking anxiety and blocking sleep.
“When we focus on how long we’ve been awake or how much time we’ve got left to sleep, it triggers anxiety and raises cortisol levels,” Yoshi explained. “You’re essentially keeping your brain in a state of alertness. The more you check the clock, the harder it becomes to relax.
“Turn your clock away or place your phone face down,” the expert advised. “You can’t control the time, but you can control how your body responds to it. Focusing on rest, rather than sleep itself, helps your mind ease into the right state naturally.”
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Get yourself a good night’s sleep (Image: Catherine Falls Commercial via Getty Images)
Steer clear of bedtime scrolling
Even if you’ve fled your bed following the 15-minute rule, there’s one thing you absolutely shouldn’t grab and that is your mobile. Yoshi cautioned that late-night scrolling is among the most destructive habits for sleep quality, even more so than many people understand.
“People often think a quick check of social media or watching a video will help them unwind, but it actually does the opposite,” he said. “The blue light from screens suppresses melatonin, the hormone responsible for sleep regulation. Without enough melatonin, your body’s internal clock becomes confused, and that leads to restless, shallow sleep.”
He added that scrolling also overstimulates the brain: “Your mind doesn’t distinguish between excitement and stress. Whether it’s a funny video, a heated debate, or a worrying news story, your brain stays active, which makes falling asleep nearly impossible.”
Establish your own wind-down sanctuary
If you find yourself wide awake in the wee hours, Yoshi suggests having a tranquil, low-stimulation activity at the ready.
“Pick something relaxing that doesn’t involve screens or bright lights. Gentle stretching, journalling, or reading under a soft lamp can work wonders,” he said.
He also emphasised the importance of comfort: “Keep the lighting dim and the environment cool. If you can, make yourself a warm, caffeine-free drink like chamomile tea. The idea is to tell your body, ‘It’s safe to rest now.’ That calm signal helps melatonin production kick in again.”
Rethinking bedtime anxiety
According to Yoshi, mindset is one of the most neglected aspects of good sleep.”Many people approach bedtime with dread,” he explained. “They’ve had so many bad nights that they start assuming it’ll happen again. That creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
To disrupt this cycle, he advises concentrating on relaxation rather than the act of sleeping: “You can’t force yourself to sleep, but you can control your environment and your attitude. Think of rest as beneficial even if you don’t fall asleep right away. Deep breathing, meditation, or simply lying quietly with your eyes closed can help your body recharge.”
Yoshi underscored that consistency, in terms of bedtime, wake-up time, and pre-sleep routine, was one of the strongest indicators of good sleep. “Your body thrives on routine,” he said.
“Try to go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time every day, even on weekends. It keeps your circadian rhythm balanced, which helps you fall asleep faster and wake up more refreshed.”
