Most women will know the pattern. The tell-tale pressing on the bladder. The ache in your kidney. The vain hope it’s in your head, then the frantic drinking of water to see if the infection you suspect is lurking can be flushed out.

But it can’t. Then come the endless sleepless nights because of the need to wee every half hour. (Often just a few measly drops – but the urge is so pressing you think you might burst if you ignore it.)

Finally, you resort to a visit to the doctor and an antibiotic. It doesn’t work, so your doctor gives you another kind to try, which gives you a raging yeast infection. Which in turn gives rise to another urinary tract infection (UTI) . . .

And so it goes: the gift that keeps on giving. Welcome readers, to the world of chronic UTIs, a world I had the misfortune to enter last year, at the age of 64, while on holiday in Greece.

Since then it’s become a recurrent problem – and not just for me.

The post-menopausal UTI is not the best dinner-table topic – yet judging by how many women around my age suffer from them, it ought to be.

A UTI, to clarify, is an infection in any part of the urinary system – kidneys, bladder, ureters (which transport urine from the kidneys to the bladder) or urethra (which carries urine out of the body) – caused by bacteria, usually E.coli transferred from the digestive tract. (Hence why we girls are always taught to wipe from front to back.)

Christa D’Souza wonders why UTIs have come back with such a vengeance after the menopause

Men also get them, especially older men (remember when Logan Roy went crazy with one in the second series of Succession?). But it’s more common for women because of our shorter urethras (4cm as opposed to 15-20cm in men), which give bacteria less distance to travel.

In my younger days, when I was having a lot of sex, I got UTIs quite often (sex helps push the bacteria up the urethra, hence the term ‘honeymoon cystitis’).

So why, when I’m markedly less active on that front, have they come back with such a vengeance?

‘Most women will have a UTI in their lifetime, and a third will get them recurrently, meaning they have three or more infections a year,’ says Rajvinder Khasriya, who leads the lower urinary tract symptoms clinic at the NHS Whittington Hospital in north London and works at private clinics.

‘We don’t quite understand why these women get them recurrently, but one of the big clues is that there is a peak in UTIs at the menopause,’ she says.

That’s when there’s a big drop in oestrogen, which not only keeps our skin plump, but also promotes the production of Lactobacillus in our vaginas, the ‘good’ bacteria which fends off the ‘bad’ bacteria that can trigger infections.

Certain soaps or shower gels, which were fine to use before the menopause, can suddenly trigger UTIs afterwards

This combination of low oestrogen and low Lactobacillus ‘puts a person like yourself on this weird footing where the littlest thing can push you over the edge’, says Dr Khasriya.

‘Certain soaps, for example, or shower gels which always used to be fine before are now triggers.’

That’s because the loss of the protective mucous barrier present when oestrogen was swilling around means ingredients in soaps and gels can now lead to micro-abrasions.

For me, the failsafe trigger is a wet bathing suit. I always wondered why certain people made a point of changing straight after swimming. Now I know. The moment my bathing suit gusset meets water, all I can think of is how soon I can take it off.

If I thought I was one of the unluckier ones, I’m not. Take my friend Louise, 61, a theatre publishing executive, who started getting bladder infections at 32 after she had her first child.

The attacks became more frequent, so in 2011 – when she was 45 – her urologist recommended a urethral dilation (a surgical procedure reducing the ‘bottleneck’ around the urethra where infection-causing bacteria can breed).

By the time she was 56, however, the effects of the dilation had worn off. Having averaged around four UTIs a year, she was now getting them ‘pretty much back-to-back’.

‘Freaked out’ about all the antibiotics she was on, she booked into an ayurvedic healing retreat in Sri Lanka in 2019, but while there they got worse by the day.

After being encouraged to try a steam treatment, which involved her being put in a ‘wicker basket’ and left ‘to sweat it out’, Louise ‘started dry retching and trembling from head to toe’.

Despite a raging fever, she managed to get herself on a flight back home where doctors diagnosed sepsis (a life-threatening condition where the immune system overreacts to an infection) brought on by a UTI. Up to 30 per cent of sepsis cases begin with a UTI, research suggests.

‘Most women will have a UTI in their lifetime, and a third will get them recurrently, meaning they have three or more infections a year,’ says Rajvinder Khasriya of the NHS Whittington Hospital

Louise continued to suffer with debilitating weakness, weight loss and anxiety for months – yet the standard tests continued to test negative for a UTI.

‘We hear stories like this all the time,’ sighs Melissa Kramer, founder of Live UTI Free, which provides advice for those with recurrent and chronic UTIs.

Having developed recurrent UTIs aged 31, which lasted five years and then reoccurred after undergoing surgery for endometriosis, Melissa is keen to shine a light on the issue.

‘It’s been proven that standard UTI testing is inaccurate, yet patients are still often treated like they’re imagining their very real symptoms,’ she says.

There are a variety of reasons the tests may be flawed, she says, including that many standard urine culture tests are limited in the range of bacteria they detect. 

For Louise, what finally helped was snagging an appointment with the late Professor James Malone-Lee, a researcher and clinician, who recommended her going on antibiotics permanently. (Despite controversy around Professor Malone-Lee’s approach it’s since been adopted by many consultants around the world.)

‘After nine months I fully recovered and the professor said if you’ve had three good months you can try coming off the antibiotics,’ she says. ‘Since then – six years ago – the longest I’ve been able stay off medication without getting an infection is ten weeks. I think I’m going to be in an antibiotic loop for the rest of my life.’

After my last bout a couple of months ago, I went to see a female urologist who conducted a cystoscopy (a look in urethra and bladder with a camera under anaesthetic) to rule out anything sinister. Thankfully, there was nothing. The question, then, was what could be done to help me?

Normally, I was told, women my age would be prescribed topical oestrogen. ‘Applied straight to the area, this helps lower the pH level, makes the area more acidic and therefore promotes the production of that all-important Lactobacillus and can be really beneficial,’ explains Dr Khasriya.

But having had two oestrogen-positive cancers, this isn’t an option for me. It’s a bit of a blow. I have three friends who report topical oestrogen has changed the game for them.

One of Christa’s friends, who also suffers from UTIs, recommends a ‘vaginal rejuvenation’ device called Joylux (£99)

To do a deeper dive, as it were, I got a home-testing kit (digital-microbiology.com, £249)and sent off my samples (one vaginal, one urine.) My results showed no Lactobacillus at all. I was told I might get some joy by re-introducing it with probiotic pessaries. (I’ve not tried yet.)

Each friend I know affected by UTIs has her own ‘emergency kit’. One, for example, swears by boric acid pessaries, which you can buy online, but which are more typically used to treat yeast infections and restore the pH balance of the vagina.

Another suggests a dietary supplement called D-mannose that is supposed to neutralise excess alkalinity in the vagina that might otherwise destroy beneficial bacteria, and Intrarosa, a vaginal lubricant insert (a bit like a pessary) containing DHEA – which has been proven safe to use by those advised to steer clear of oestrogen. (But I am still wary, as DHEA is converted into oestrogen in the body.)

Yet another suggests a ‘vaginal rejuvenation’ device called Joylux (£99), which uses red-light technology to add, um, suppleness to the area and improve pH balance – but there are no clinical trials proving it can treat a UTI.

My own kit contains emergency antibiotics and hyaluronic acid pessaries to stop me from getting wretchedly dry down there (and more prone to infection). Too much information? I’m sorry. But if you are a chronic UTI sufferer you’ll be thanking me, I’m sure.