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A woman has been left feeling awkward after a person in her friend group repeatedly refused to buy drinks on their turn during a pub round.
An anonymous woman took to the British parenting forum, Mumsnet to air her frustration over a ‘stingy’ friend who won’t buy her friends drinks on a night out.
Explaining that the friendship group had always bought drinks in a system of rounds, the woman revealed that although the friend would always say yes to a drink, she would never offer one back.
Now it’s got to the point where some members of the group won’t buy her a drink, so she sits without one, creating an ‘awkward’ atmosphere.
Commenters were almost unanimous over their hatred for rounds while drinking, but plenty said that the stingy friend’s behaviour is unacceptable regardless.
A woman took to Mumsnet to ask what to do about a stingy friend who never buys a round, despite always accepting a drink when offered (stock image)
The woman explained that the friend would now g without drinks at all, as people had stopped buying them from her
Speaking of the uncomfortable situation the woman wrote: ‘One of the members of our friend group never buys a round.’
‘She’s happy to accept a drink when someone else is buying, but never reciprocates, apart from one time when her best friend called her out on it. At which point she claimed she wasn’t thirsty.
‘Our friendship group normally meets in pubs for lunch/birthday etc drinks but now it’s got to the point where she sits drink-less (she waits to see if someone will buy her a drink) because everyone else has wised up to her.’
‘It feels awkward and is in danger of spoiling the vibe when someone gets a round in but misses her out.’
Some commenters thought that rounds were the issue as opposed to someone never contributing
‘So should I have a frank talk with her, and what should I say? This may or may not be relevant but she might be on the spectrum, so not very good at social cues. But she also might just be very stingy (or both). She’s not poor by the way, quite the opposite.’
After commenters expressed their dislike for the rounds system, the woman revealed that they didn’t want to change the approach on account of one person.
‘Buying a round is a social thing, and it’s something our group has always done. I would rather not change that dynamic if possible,’ she said.
Many commenters couldn’t believe that someone would be so rude as to not offer to buy drinks for their friends after receiving them
‘None of us want to buy massive rounds, so the way it usually works is if there’s a largish group then we split into fours/trios and buy for each other (it’s all very informal by the way, it just happens).’
She added: ‘She’s always up for accepting a drink, I’ve never seen her refuse one.’
Some commenters claimed that the group is asking for trouble by doing rounds instead of buying their own drinks.
One person said: ‘If you don’t want to call her out then just say from now everyone buys their own drinks, it’s fairer that way. I hate it when people insist on rounds, I prefer to buy my own as I don’t drink as much as others do.’
Another thought that forcing her to be included in the rounds was actually unfair: ‘If she doesn’t want to be part of the round, maybe she shouldn’t have to? I would ask her, how to you feel about this whole system of rounds? Maybe she’s got a lot to say about it.’
A third person commented on the thought process of the friend if indeed she was on the spectrum, saying: ‘If people are offering to buy her a drink and she is saying yes thanks, that may seem like a very straightforward thing to her.’
‘You might be expecting a bit much for her to think, ‘she asked me if I’d like a drink, but secretly she’s resenting me not having bought one’. At least my autistic ds is like this, taking interactions at face value. (But he offered? Why did he ask me what I wanted to drink if he didn’t want to get me one?)’
Others, however, thought that makes one’s friends pay for rounds of drinks for you without contributing at all, was out of order.
One person wrote, ‘How are these tightwads not mortified to behave like this? It should called out, in front of everyone, every time. UGH.’
Another commenter agreed that being upfront was the best approach, saying: ‘Why don’t you just say ‘ It’s your round’ to her? I just can’t see the problem here. I have a stingy mate and we have made a joke of it to her and she now laughs along. (Hasn’t made her any quicker to offer though!)’
A third person responded to the hatred of rounds but absolved that it wasn’t an excuse to be rude, saying: ‘I do understand people saying they hate rounds, but the crucial part of sitting out of rounds is saying ‘no, thank you, I’ll buy my own’ when someone offers you a drink!’ Not accepting one then never making a move to buy one back!’