First-term Labor senator Fatima Payman had caused a stir when she quit the party in 2024 to sit on the crossbench.

She then set about showing the government what it was missing out on: lots of Gen Z slang.

In what might have been the most word-packed addition to Hansard in a single go, Payman delivered a brief, two-minute speech filled with a plethora of contemporary insults directed at her former party and the opposition.

“Today I rise to address an oft-forgotten segment of our society,” the youngest member of the 47th parliament said.

“I’m talking about Generation Z, who will play a significant part in the upcoming election, and Generation Alpha, who will begin to be influential in the one after. With this in mind, I’ll now present the rest of my statement in a language familiar to them.

“To the sigmas of Australia, I assert that this quirky government has been misleading, not just recently, but for a long duration. Some of you might recall when they promised, ‘There will be no fanum tax under the government I lead.’ They’re addicts of false claims. They also incessantly chatter about how their cost-of-living actions are supposedly transforming lives across Australia. Just follow through and do the job, young one.

“They tell us that they’re locked in on improving the housing situation in this country. They must have brainrot from watching too much Kai Cenat and forgot about their plans to ban social media for kids under 14. If that becomes law, you can ‘forgor skull emoji’ all about watching Duke Dennis or catching a dub with the bros on Fort. Chat, is this prime minister serious? Even though he’s the prime minister of Australia, sometimes it feels like he’s the CEO of Ohio. I would be taking an L if I did not mention the opps who want to cut WA’s gyatts and services tax.

“The decision voters will be making in a few months’ time will be between a mid government, a dogwater opposition or a crossbench that will mog both of them. Though some of you cannot yet vote, I hope that, when you do, it will be in a more goated Australia for a government with more aura. Skibidi!”

Make of that what you will.