Psychologist explains what 'I want to go home' could mean when said by dementia patients
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A recent exploration by a psychologist delves into the implications of a simple three-word phrase often expressed by individuals with dementia. While cautious to avoid broad generalizations, the expert suggests this phrase might be linked to feelings of anxiety or concerns about personal safety.

Dr. Kellyn Lee, leading the Dementia Care Hub, shared her insights in a TikTok video addressing a viewer’s question about the meaning behind dementia patients asking to “go home.” Acknowledging the uniqueness of each case, Dr. Lee provided advice on supporting individuals experiencing such emotions.

“When someone with dementia expresses a desire to go home, it often indicates a sense of insecurity,” explained Dr. Lee. “However, it’s crucial to consider that, for those living in care facilities, the request might stem from not feeling at home in their current environment, as it may not be familiar to them.”

Dr. Lee emphasized, “While this statement doesn’t apply universally, it’s possible the individual simply longs for the familiarity of their own home. Furthermore, cognitive impairments associated with dementia can disrupt communication and perception, leading to heightened anxiety.”

Dementia describes a range of symptoms resulting from the gradual decline in brain function. According to NHS data, over 944,000 individuals in the UK are living with dementia, with Alzheimer’s disease being the most widespread variant.

Although memory loss is a well-known consequence of dementia, the condition also manifests through various other symptoms, such as dramatic mood fluctuations. These may include increased irritability, anxiety, and depression, potentially becoming more pronounced over time.

Dr Lee continued: “So, when we have high levels of anxiety, what we can see are people in fight or flight. So, when people are asking to leave, it’s because they may not feel ok. So they are in that flight mode.

“So, what you need to do is you need to support that by validating the fact that they want to leave. What I would typically do with somebody is I will put my arm in their arm, or might rub their arm as I’m walking with them and we would go for a walk in order to allow the anxiety to work through that person.

“Cut stimulation – we don’t need stimulation. I don’t need to be asking them lots of questions. I just need to be reassuring them that, ‘Do you know what? I’ve got you. I’m here with you.’ and ‘Let’s go for a walk and let’s walk this through.’”

Official advice from the Alzheimer’s Society also builds on Dr Lee’s thoughts. In cases where someone is worried or fearful, it advises: “Help the person find the right time and space to share their thoughts.

“If something very upsetting or traumatic has happened recently or in the past, the person may find it helpful to talk about them. If these conversations are too difficult or sensitive, or the person doesn’t feel comfortable talking to someone they know, ask a professional counsellor or therapist for help first.”

For more information, visit the Alzheimer’s Society’s website here.

Potential symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease

The World Health Organisation states that Alzheimer’s disease is the most prevalent form of dementia, making up approximately 60 to 70% of cases. Early warning signs usually manifest as mild memory lapses, such as forgetting people’s names or being unable to recall recent conversations.

Yet as the illness progresses, the NHS warns that additional symptoms may emerge, including:

  • Hallucinations
  • Difficulties with communication, speech or language
  • Trouble making decisions
  • Confusion, disorientation or getting lost in familiar places
  • Low moods and anxiety
  • Behavioural changes – increasing aggression or suspicion
  • Problems moving around without assistance

Advice from the NHS adds: “There’s currently no cure for Alzheimer’s disease, but medicines are available that can help relieve some of the symptoms. Various other types of support are also available to help people with Alzheimer’s live as independently as possible, such as making changes to your home environment so it’s easier to move around and remember daily tasks.

“Psychological treatments such as cognitive stimulation therapy may also be offered to help support your memory, problem-solving skills and language ability.”

Anyone experiencing symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease should consult their GP. More information is available on the NHS website.

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