Share this @internewscast.com
If you spend more time cursing a family member than enjoying time with them, should you sever that relationship? Insight looks at what drives us to cut ties and asks if it’s always a good idea. Watch episode Cutting Ties on SBS On Demand.

Thumbnail of Cutting Ties

It’s a weird feeling when — by their choice — a key person in your life isn’t in it anymore.

I sensed that perhaps she was isolating herself during this time, but at the moment, I didn’t view it as something directed at me personally. During the pandemic, many individuals chose to remain indoors, distancing themselves from others.

I texted and called her during lockdown but didn’t hear much back from her.
After a few months, I sent a message asking if everything was okay between us.
Nothing could have prepared me for her answer.
I was stunned. I racked my brain for what I could possibly have done.
I asked her the reason. She texted back with some details but didn’t want to go into explicit examples so as not to hurt my feelings.

I would have preferred to have been able to have a conversation about it than be cut off like that.

Sitting with unanswered questions

It’s been four years now and I still don’t fully understand why. I wonder all the time.
I wish I had clear answers; your mind spins and makes up reasons why it could be so.
This friend invested so much time and energy in supporting me — she was a really significant figure in my life.
I split up with my son’s dad when I was eight months pregnant. So, my life was really heavy, and I was a single parent right from the start of my child’s life.
But my friend was always there for me.

It is devastating to lose her.

Two years after my friend told me she didn’t want our friendship anymore, my son started school.
My friend was someone who I thought would always be in his life. I felt she was the closest thing he had to a godparent.
Seeing my son in his school uniform on his first day of school and feeling particularly sentimental, I decided to text my friend.
I said that I thought she was going to be a witness to his life and that I was sad. I don’t know if it was the best thing to do, but I was overwhelmed with emotion.
She replied that she was sorry for being the cause of my sadness.

We haven’t had any more contact in the three years since.

‘You can’t remake old friends’

I think the hardest thing is that, to me, there were no warning signs.
From my perspective, there were no conversations or any kind of communication to suggest she might have been having issues with me.
Not having closure has been challenging. But the more time goes on, the easier it gets and more comfortable I get with it just being the way it is.
I think if I’d had a chance to speak to her in person, then I would have at least had the opportunity to say my piece. Our ‘breakup’ may have felt better.

But that’s not what happened, so I must accept it.

Along with losing my mum, it’s been one of the biggest griefs of my life.
We talked about being old ladies together, sitting on the front porch, drinking tea and laughing at the world.
I feel her absence in my life every day. Anyone that you’re close with, who you’ve known at different life stages, I feel you lose that memory bank you shared, and the version of yourself they carried with them as your friend.
It’s like, who you were with them, no longer exists.
You can’t ‘remake’ old friends.
Share this @internewscast.com
You May Also Like

Could Your Dog Be Prone to Addiction? New Scientific Insights Suggest Possibility

Dogs can become so attached to particular toys they display behaviour that…
First major test of ceasefire as Israel accuses Hamas of attack

Ceasefire Under Scrutiny: Israel Alleges Hamas Violation in New Tensions

Israel launched strikes in the southern Gaza Strip, responding to what it…
A low angle shot of the front of an Optus store sign.

Optus Faces Mass Exodus: Why Millions of Customers Are Ready to Switch Networks

A poll conducted by Resolve Political Monitor for The Sydney Morning Herald…
The Office Australia has been officially cancelled

Australian Adaptation of ‘The Office’ Canceled After One Season Amid Critical Backlash

The Australian adaptation of “The Office” has reached its end, with confirmation…
President Donald Trump speaks to reporters after arriving on Air Force One, Friday, Oct. 17, 2025, at Palm Beach International Airport in West Palm Beach, Fla.

Urgent Alert: US Reveals Hamas Plot Against Palestinian Civilians Amid Ceasefire Breach

The U.S. State Department has announced that it possesses “credible reports” suggesting…

Two Additional Hostage Remains Returned as Netanyahu Declares Conflict Persists Until Hamas Disarmament

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu warned that the war in Gaza would…

From Controversy to Celebration: Donald Trump’s Unlikely Rise as an Israeli Icon

Even from a plane 150 metres above Israel, it would have been…
Locals dig graves for people killed in a cross-border airstrike by the Pakistani army in Afghanistan's eastern Paktika province, Saturday, Oct. 18, 2025. (AP Photo/Shafiqullah Mashaal)

Ceasefire Announced: Afghanistan and Pakistan Reach Peace Agreement with Qatar’s Mediation

Qatar’s Foreign Ministry announced on Sunday that Afghanistan and Pakistan have reached…
March for Australia rally in Melbourne. Photograph by Paul Jeffers The Age NEWS 19 Oct 2025

Melbourne CBD Protests Lead to Hospitalization of Police Officers

Victoria Police have reported that two officers required hospitalization following confrontations with…
Ringwood carjacking

Police Thwart Alleged Carjacking Attempts by Teenage Boys

Two teenage boys have been charged after police foiled two attempted carjackings…

Minister Confirms Albanese-Trump Meeting Won’t Impact Relations Despite Uncertainty

A potential verbal spray from Donald Trump towards Anthony Albanese during talks…
Remembering Virginia Giuffre: The woman who helped bring down Jeffery Epstein

Metropolitan Police Investigates Allegations About Prince Andrew’s Inquiry Into Virginia Giuffre

London’s Metropolitan Police says it is “actively looking into” media reports Prince…