Share this @internewscast.com
If you spend more time cursing a family member than enjoying time with them, should you sever that relationship? Insight looks at what drives us to cut ties and asks if it’s always a good idea. Watch episode Cutting Ties on SBS On Demand.

Thumbnail of Cutting Ties

It’s a weird feeling when — by their choice — a key person in your life isn’t in it anymore.

I sensed that perhaps she was isolating herself during this time, but at the moment, I didn’t view it as something directed at me personally. During the pandemic, many individuals chose to remain indoors, distancing themselves from others.

I texted and called her during lockdown but didn’t hear much back from her.
After a few months, I sent a message asking if everything was okay between us.
Nothing could have prepared me for her answer.
I was stunned. I racked my brain for what I could possibly have done.
I asked her the reason. She texted back with some details but didn’t want to go into explicit examples so as not to hurt my feelings.

I would have preferred to have been able to have a conversation about it than be cut off like that.

Sitting with unanswered questions

It’s been four years now and I still don’t fully understand why. I wonder all the time.
I wish I had clear answers; your mind spins and makes up reasons why it could be so.
This friend invested so much time and energy in supporting me — she was a really significant figure in my life.
I split up with my son’s dad when I was eight months pregnant. So, my life was really heavy, and I was a single parent right from the start of my child’s life.
But my friend was always there for me.

It is devastating to lose her.

Two years after my friend told me she didn’t want our friendship anymore, my son started school.
My friend was someone who I thought would always be in his life. I felt she was the closest thing he had to a godparent.
Seeing my son in his school uniform on his first day of school and feeling particularly sentimental, I decided to text my friend.
I said that I thought she was going to be a witness to his life and that I was sad. I don’t know if it was the best thing to do, but I was overwhelmed with emotion.
She replied that she was sorry for being the cause of my sadness.

We haven’t had any more contact in the three years since.

‘You can’t remake old friends’

I think the hardest thing is that, to me, there were no warning signs.
From my perspective, there were no conversations or any kind of communication to suggest she might have been having issues with me.
Not having closure has been challenging. But the more time goes on, the easier it gets and more comfortable I get with it just being the way it is.
I think if I’d had a chance to speak to her in person, then I would have at least had the opportunity to say my piece. Our ‘breakup’ may have felt better.

But that’s not what happened, so I must accept it.

Along with losing my mum, it’s been one of the biggest griefs of my life.
We talked about being old ladies together, sitting on the front porch, drinking tea and laughing at the world.
I feel her absence in my life every day. Anyone that you’re close with, who you’ve known at different life stages, I feel you lose that memory bank you shared, and the version of yourself they carried with them as your friend.
It’s like, who you were with them, no longer exists.
You can’t ‘remake’ old friends.
Share this @internewscast.com
You May Also Like

Swift Thief Snatches Numerous Right Boots from Brisbane Boutique

A small Brisbane shoe store is trying to solve a peculiar mystery…
Erin Patterson

Expert Claims Mushroom Cook’s Murder Convictions Are ‘Appeal-Proof’

The judge in Erin Patterson’s triple-murder trial has made her case “virtually…
Carolina Wilga, 26, has been backpacking through Australia for the past two years and works on mines to fund her stay at hostels.

Concerns Rise Over Missing German Backpacker in Western Australia

Authorities hold serious concerns for a German backpacker who is believed to…
Deer sprinting across ACT highway

Video of Wild Deer Dashing Across Road Highlights Nationwide ‘Emergency’

Dashcam footage of a deer narrowly missing cars as it darted across…

Reserve Bank’s Unexpected Interest Rate Decision: ‘Stay Tuned’

Interest rates are set to stay at 3.85 percent, with the Reserve…

“Indigenous Australians Minister Urges Examination of Federal Truth-Telling ‘Now is the Time'”

Indigenous Australians Minister Malarndirri McCarthy says it is time to consider the…
Flash flooding is seen at the Guadalupe River in Kerrville, Texas, on July 5.

Time-lapse Video Captures Rapid Rise of Floodwater in Texas

Timelapse video has captured just how quickly floodwaters rose along the Llano…
Mt Hotham locals woke to more than 10cm of fresh snow this morning after temperatures plunged to almost minus four degrees.

Strong Cold Front to Bring Up to 40cm of Snow to Mountain Areas

Australia’s alpine resorts are forecasting the best July snow conditions in recent…
Extent of major Qantas data breach revealed

Details of Significant Data Breach at Qantas Disclosed

Details of last week’s Qantas data breach have now been made clearer…

Australia’s Blessing Scams: 80 Incidents, $3 Million Lost, and New Allegations

A 62-year-old man has been charged as part of an investigation into…
A photo supplied by the kindergarten to parents show bright yellow "corn" rolls.

Chinese Kindergarten Uses Paint to Decorate Food

In northwest China, authorities have reported that over 200 kindergarten students were…
South Island giant moa.

Oscar Winner’s Ambition Sparks Efforts to Revive the Extinct Moa

An acclaimed filmmaker’s grumble could be the catalyst that brings a centuries-extinct…