Exclusive: In a startling revelation, Blanche d’Alpuget, the widow of former Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke, has recounted a time when she seriously contemplated murdering him years before he ascended to the nation’s highest office.

d’Alpuget, who is recognized for her successful writing career, admitted that she had devised a plan to commit the act and was prepared to spend her subsequent years in prison penning her thoughts. However, the prospect of her then-six-year-old son, Louis, bearing the stigma of being the child of a murderer ultimately dissuaded her from following through with her plan.

Her contemplation, albeit brief, was genuine. “I was going to stab him,” she confessed. “I had planned to meet him, armed with a Sabatier kitchen knife with a ten-inch blade hidden in my shoulder bag. My intention was to hug him and then strike from the front, as I do not believe in stabbing people in the back.”

d’Alpuget reflected on her state of mind during that period, noting that the idea did not linger with her for more than 24 hours. Nonetheless, this confession unveils a darker chapter in the life of someone who would eventually become the partner of one of Australia’s most beloved leaders.

“No, no, from the front. I don’t believe in stabbing people in the back.

“I don’t know that I entertained the idea longer than 24 hours.

“It was really out of consideration for my son that I dropped the whole lot.”

Despite her initial murderous intent, Blanche came to see that she would have changed history by killing him, and indeed by not killing him.

She has no illusions about why Hawke reneged on his marriage proposal before he was PM, and says his decision to stay with Hazel was the right one.

“I think politics was a very big part of it,” she said.

“Probably the main part of it, actually.

“It was good for Australia. He was very good for Australia.

“It was the tension between love and duty And he obeyed the call to duty.

“Which is how he saw it and how I see it.”

In an unfashionably frank interview, and in the book, Blanche talks freely about:

She has no doubt he was an alcoholic.

“As with all alcoholics, he had an on button and no off button,” she said.

“He could drink and drink and drink but he couldn’t stop drinking once he started.

“He asked me to be the parole officer to watch his drinking, which I really hated.”

And finally, on the murder that wasn’t:

MITCHELL: Did you ever tell Bob that you had planned to kill him?

D’ALPULGET: Oh yes, I think I did. We laughed. We laughed. He’d laugh and say, “If you decided you were going to do it, I wouldn’t want to be in the way.”

Neil Mitchell is a broadcaster and journalist who hosts the Nine podcast Neil Mitchell Asks Why?

Fridays with Blanche was written by Derek Rielly. It is published by Allen and Unwin.