Gathered around a lengthy table at the Victoria Park bar in Perth, some coaches from the Western Force are passionately discussing what a Southern Hemisphere XV team might look like, combining the top players from Argentina, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa.

A British and Irish Lions tour always ignites excitement, and spearheaded by General Manager Chris Goodman, who is the brother of Lions coach Andrew, they focus intensely on who should be the top choice for the number 9 position.

“Your glass is empty!” notes one of the Western Force coaches, highlighting how this tour contrasts starkly with the 2021 series in South Africa, during the pandemic lockdown when all interviews were virtual via Zoom. Here’s to the enduring spirit of live tours!

Their team looks something like this…

1 Tamaiti Williams 2 Julian Montoya 3 Tyrel Lomax 4 Darcy Swain 5 Eben Etzebeth 6 Pablo Matera 7 Pieter Steph du Toit 8 Ardie Savea 9 Cam Roigard 10 Richie Mounga 11 Cheslin Kolbe 12 Damien De Allende 13 Joseph Suaalii 14 Sevu Reece 15 Will Jordan

Fair to say that not everyone agrees on the selection but it is all hypothetical. Only Andy Farrell has the opportunity to pick his dream team for real and they arrive in Perth just after sunset on Sunday evening.

The touring side will touch down with wounded pride following Friday night’s defeat by Argentina, ready for a loaded schedule of warm-up games against provincial teams desperate to land a famous upset. First up: Western Force.

‘I wished my brother well on our family group chat before the Argentina game but I said I hope it goes to s*** this week!’ says Goodman, over a pint of Swan Draught.

‘They’ll be hurting a bit after losing in Dublin but we want to really show them what we’ve got. They’re going to have a few things to prove on the first game of tour, people putting their hand up for Test selection. But don’t forget Argentina have beaten South Africa, New Zealand and France in the last 12 months. The Lions will only get stronger as the tour goes on so we’ll give it a red-hot crack.

‘The boys are fizzing to have a crack against some of the best players in the world. There’s no doubt the Lions have got some great talent in there.’

The locals are expecting Farrell to field an entirely different XV at the Optus Stadium, with title-winners from Bath and Leinster in line for their first hit-out. The reality is that Australia’s provincial teams will not be fielding their best Wallabies – they have all been withheld by Joe Schmidt – so there could be some heavy drubbings along the way.

The Wallabies are ranked eighth in the world and the Lions should be aiming for a whitewash if they find a way to clear up the errors that littered their performance on Friday night.

‘Faz set out the aim for us to win every single game,’ revealed a disappointed Bundee Aki before the Lions boarded their flight. ‘To not come out with the result that we wanted in the first game, look, it’s just got to be one of those things where we learn quickly. A group of 38/40 players, to be able to pick from four different countries, you’ve obviously got to make sure you perform.’

Test jerseys are up for grabs. The likes of Blair Kinghorn, James Lowe, Dan Sheehan, Finn Russell and Jamison Gibson-Park all benefited through their absence on Friday night and they are front-runners for selection in rugby’s most prestigious series.

Travelling fans are guaranteed a warm reception but the welcome will not extend to the players on the pitch. The star-studded team will have a target on their heads and they are expected to deliver.

Any notion that they will be playing on fast-tracks has been dispelled by this weekend’s weather, with the banks of the Swan River close to overflowing and palm leaves scattered across the road after storms on Friday night.

‘The pitches should be alright,’ reassures Goodman. ‘It normally gets like this for about a month in the winter. They’ve played quite a bit of sport on the Optus pitch this week. They had State of Origin Wednesday, the Fremantle Dockers on Thursday. It holds up pretty well.

‘I hope it turns into a beautiful Perth day so and the sun cooks them! We’re used to training in 40-degree weather in summer and playing in about 35. I’m really hoping Perth turns it on next week and the sun comes out.

‘The forecast is good and the city’s starting to come to life. You don’t realise how many expats you have here until you bring something big here like the Lions. 

‘It’s awesome for the Western Force to be able to play them first up. For us, it’s a once in a career opportunity. It’s 12 years until the next one comes here so you’ve got to make the most of it.’

Across the bar from Goodman and his mates, a local in a Lions shirt watches the Super Rugby final on the big screens. 

He too will be at the Optus Stadium next weekend, with 40,000 tickets sold so far. The sea of red will rise slowly over the coming weeks and the Lions are expected to ride a wave of victory.