My husband refuses to help change our baby's diapers — he claims it's gross'
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When their daughter was born eight weeks ago, one mom expected to navigate parenthood as a team with her husband.

But so far, it’s felt like a solo journey, especially when it comes to one basic responsibility that comes with newborn life: Changing diapers. 

“I understand why it can be intimidating”

During her pregnancy, she believed her 23-year-old husband was excited to become a father. But now, she’s not so sure.

After experiencing a miscarriage in 2023, she says he seemed more enthusiastic back then than he does now. 


A mom took to Reddit to share that her husband refuses to help her change their baby's diapers.
A mom took to Reddit to share that her husband refuses to help her change their baby’s diapers. Yakobchuk Olena – stock.adobe.com

“He seemed more enthusiastic during the previous pregnancy compared to this time,” she mentioned. “And now, something new… he claims he doesn’t want to change diapers because it’s ‘gross.'” 

In a post shared to Reddit, the mother opened up about his ongoing refusal and how she’s tried to support him through it.

“I understand why it can be intimidating because he is a man and she is a baby girl. She has different parts than he does,” she reasoned. 

“I assured him that I would be there to assist and guide him. He even practiced diapering a stuffed teddy bear before the baby arrived.” 

But any hopes of him coming around haven’t translated into action. In fact, she says his resistance has only grown stronger. 

“He refuses to be in the room while I change her,” the mom confessed. “Whenever I ask, ‘when are you planning to start changing her diaper?’ he responds with ‘are we having this conversation again?'”

Now, she’s questioning whether he was ready for parenthood at all. 

“That’s absolutely absurd”

She turned to the forum, asking for advice on how to handle the situation.

“I think you need to keep pushing him,” one commenter suggested. 

Another criticized, “Guy thinks he is back in the 1800s or something.”

“That’s absolutely absurd. He needs to learn how to change a nappy or he literally cannot be a parent,” a third added. 

In a later edit to her post, the mother revealed that she’d tried to dig deeper into the reasoning behind his discomfort. 

“He said, ‘Everything. The different parts…’ and then kind of trailed off, like there was more to the sentence than what was said,” she recalled. “He told me, ‘Why would I take her from you to change her and then bring her back, when you could just do it?’”

She posed a simple question in response: What if she wasn’t there?

“I said, ‘What if something happened to me? Or I had to leave her with you for an hour or two?’ He said at that point, he’d look it up on YouTube and wouldn’t leave her sitting in a soiled nappy.”

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