Howard, it seems, is refusing to meet his end.
Following some tumultuous weeks, Howard Stern denied rumors about SiriusXM canceling his show and promised to return on Tuesday to clarify everything – yet, he didn’t appear.
Initially, there were rumors about a ‘family emergency,’ suggesting Stern, who is 71, was very worried about the health of his 97-year-old mother.
Later, the Daily Mail detailed an unexpected email Stern sent to his 95 employees on the evening of Labor Day, indicating that he wouldn’t be back on the show the next day.
Imagine that. His staff, caught in uncertainty since the shocking news in August that SiriusXM possibly wanted him gone, found out on Labor Day — quite the twist! — that their leader, with a $500 million contract, was delaying his much-anticipated return and would update them… eventually?
For his team, the worries over job security and future paychecks — especially with the holiday season nearing — don’t seem to be a major concern for their once multi-millionaire boss.
After several chaotic weeks, Stern dismissed reports of SiriusXM dropping him and pledged to return to his show on Tuesday to explain everything – yet, he didn’t show up.
Later on Tuesday afternoon, a report surfaced that Stern didn’t return to work because one of his cats died
Later on Tuesday afternoon, a report surfaced that Stern didn’t return to work because one of his cats died.
Is he sure that cat didn’t also eat his homework?
Even if true, it’s a lame excuse.
Stern has fostered hundreds, if not thousands, of cats since marrying his 18-years-younger wife Beth. The notion that he has never lost a cat before or is so bereft that he just couldn’t bring himself to broadcast, as his life’s work and legacy hangs in the balance, beggars belief.
Indeed, a source told the Daily Mail that Howard refused to come back because of ‘frustrations over the new contract’ he’s been trying to negotiate — with a company that has made clear they would like to be rid of him.
How desperate and pathetic. How unprofessional to pull this inconsiderate stunt hours before his remaining fans (listenership has plummeted from a reported 20 million daily listeners to just 125,000) expected his much-heralded return.
One wonders just who is guiding and advising Stern — much less agenting him.
Has he found a real replacement for his longtime agent, the legendary Don Buchwald, who died last July, age 88?
It was Buchwald, after all, who negotiated Stern’s half-billion-dollar deal.
‘Everyone should have a Don Buchwald in their life,’ Stern told the New York Times in 2018. ‘I’d never want to be without him, and I don’t need anyone but him.’
It’s hard to imagine Buchwald allowing Stern to careen as he has since August, when the Daily Mail broke the news that Stern had been blindsided — contrary to a show insider’s later insistence that this was all one big hoax designed to gin up interest for his September return.
Stern has fostered hundreds, if not thousands, of cats since marrying his 18-years-younger wife Beth (pictured in 2019)
‘They’re desperately trying to make this thing go viral… to boost his numbers for his return,’ the source claimed. ‘The numbers are so pathetic they don’t know what to do.’
Shades of Stephen Colbert, who had a bloated staff of 200 to write and produce a show that hemorrhaged millions, causing CBS execs to finally pull the plug.
And Colbert, like Stern, went super-woke. Both men forgot they were comedians and bought into their own hype, sure that they could convince the country that Trump was Hitler, that the Covid vaccine was America’s new religion and that Kamala had to win or democracy would end.
The result? Audiences fled in droves, never to return.
Another Stern source contended that the one-time shock jock’s critics would be in for a ‘rude awakening’ once he was back on-air and that by then, Howard would have ‘a new contract’ and begin ‘his next chapter’.
Please. All this chaos points to one scenario: SiriusXM has buried this overpaid dinosaur.
They see the future in podcasts and in younger, relatively cheaper talent — such as Alex Cooper, host of ‘Call Her Daddy’, who signed to the network for a reported $125 million and who, according to all reports, Stern cannot stand.
Of course he can’t! She’s young, she’s playing on his turf — sex and scandalous celeb confessions — and, likely most galling to him, she’s a woman.
SiriusXM surely see the future in podcasts and in younger, relatively cheaper talent – such as Alex Cooper (pictured), host of ‘Call Her Daddy’
‘It’s completely turned Howard’s world upside down,’ a source said in August. ‘She’s the one [who] bugs him… he hates that this young, bubbly woman is the next big thing. That’s who they have to keep Howard away from when she comes to New York’.
Howard Stern — cowed by a 30-year-old sex podcaster!
It lends real credence to that earlier insider claim that once Stern’s contract expired this fall, ‘Sirius is planning on making him an offer, [but] they don’t intend for him to take it. [They] are never going to agree on the money he is going to want. It’s no longer worth the investment.’
Of course it’s not. Howard — just like Meghan Markle, Sarah Jessica Parker and Anna Wintour — is refusing to take the note from commerce and the culture: Your time is past. We’ll do just fine without you.
In fact, we’ll be better than ever. So please. Just go.
But Stern’s ego, apparently, will not allow this to penetrate. And so he promised a return to air the day after Labor Day, only to break trust with his waning audience, take his proverbial football, and go home.
Mind you, coming back to his chair and back on-air entails Stern simply rolling out of bed in one of his multimillion-dollar estates and padding to a state-of-the-art, in-home satellite studio.
Hardly the commute of the working class, for whom he was once a hero.
Now Stern swears he’ll be back next week, for real this time.
Who would ever believe him?
