Call the White House! Declare a national emergency! America is in the middle of a full-blown sex recession.
According to the Institute for Family Studies in Virginia, only 37 percent of Americans are engaging in sexual activity at least once a week, as revealed by a study that examined data from 1,000 men and women.
But back in 1990, 55 percent of adults aged 18-64 reported getting their freak on once every seven days, at minimum.
The decline is even more striking among 18 to 29-year-olds, with 24 percent of them saying they haven’t had sex in the past year. A whole year!
Compounding the situation is a developing trend among women who are choosing to completely abstain from sex. Many are sharing on social media how this decision helps them to focus on personal growth and mental clarity.
Look, I applaud self-care, but let’s get real: sometimes the best therapy isn’t journaling or a sound bath – it’s a mind-blowing orgasm.
A significant issue is the saturated presence of sexual content, albeit not of the traditional type. We’re surrounded by powerful sex toys, provocative TV shows, and steamy novels, yet are more inclined to doom-scroll or binge-watch Netflix than engage in actual intimacy.
Finding a partner has also become superficial with many resorting to swiping for fleeting gratification. The cycle includes sending careless nudes, engaging in casual sexting amidst daily activities, or simply being too exhausted to engage in physical intimacy after a hectic day.
America is caught in the midst of a major sex decline. Our habits, such as excessive screen time and immediate lifestyles, leave us rolling over in bed rather than enjoying the physical connection.
Let’s get real: sometimes the best therapy isn’t journaling or a sound bath – it’s a mind-blowing orgasm with someone who knows what they’re doing
However, this rise in abstinence can result in feelings of loneliness and disconnection, ironically intensifying the longing for the very intimacy that satisfying sexual experiences can offer.
Well, I have some advice for America’s sexless masses (especially the ladies). It’s not acrobatic. You don’t need to study the Kama Sutra or risk dislocating a hip. In fact, the move is almost laughably simple.
Ready?
Stay in the moment.
Sex therapists have a term for it: sexual synchrony. It’s that moment when your breathing matches, you’re attuned to each other’s micro-movements and it feels almost spiritual.
That’s when the oxytocin, the cuddle chemical, hits. It’s a magical bonding hormone and, yes, the reason he might suddenly blurt out, ‘I love you.’
When I floated this theory to my social media followers (who never fail to overshare) the responses rolled in thick and fast. This works – and, even more important than the incredible sex it fosters, ‘sexual synchrony’ creates an intimacy that many of us are lacking.
One woman confessed: ‘He said “I love you” for the first time while we were having slow sex in the shower. I was kissing his neck, running my hands over his shoulders, taking my time and just being deliberate about how much attention I was giving him.’
Another wrote: ‘I thought he’d only ever say it on a drunken night out. But nope. He said it after a lazy Sunday morning session where we spent forever just lying in bed, touching and giggling. Not even sex, just closeness.’
And perhaps my favorite: ‘He said it when I sat on top, looked him dead in the eye and refused to break eye contact. I wasn’t being porny. I was just caught up in it. It completely melted him.’
Notice the theme? None of these moments involved Cirque du Soleil maneuvers. They were about presence and intimacy.
None of these moments involved Cirque du Soleil maneuvers. They were about presence and intimacy
For the sake of all our libidos, I’ve put together a quick cheat sheet for jumpstarting America’s collective sex life:
Ditch the phone: Nothing kills desire faster than sneaky scrolling before foreplay.
Go slow: Kiss like you did at the start of the relationship: tease, pause, let anticipation build.
Use your hands: Not in a frantic, get-it-over-with way, but in a deliberate, exploratory way.
Breathe together: Sounds woo-woo but matching your breathing instantly amps up connection.
Eye contact: The bravest move of all. Don’t overthink it. Just… look.
Does this guarantee you an, ‘I love you’? Maybe not every time. But will it shift the energy from perfunctory to profound? Absolutely.
