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The 58-year-old told the jury in his $100million defamation trial that he stayed with Heard despite the alleged abuse because he feared she would attempt suicide like his mother did when his father left her.
‘I didn’t want to break her heart,’ Depp said Wednesday. ‘When my father left, my mother – that first attempt at suicide that I woke up to and that visual in my head – that was a direct result of my father’s leaving.
‘Miss Heard had spoken of suicide on a couple of occasions so that also becomes a factor. That’s also something that always lives in the back of your brain and you fear.
‘Many times when I’d try to leave she would stop me at the elevator with the security guards crying, screaming, ”I can’t live without you, I’m going to die.”
‘There were a couple of times when I did escape and five minutes later she would arrive at my West Hollywood home in her nightgown screaming in the parking lot in front of my house, screaming to high heavens and it would be four in the morning. It was ludicrous. It was out of control.’
Johnny Depp was back on the stand Wednesday to continue his testimony about how his relationship with ex-wife Amber Heard deteriorated
The 58-year-old told the jury in his $100million defamation trial that he stayed with Heard despite the alleged abuse because he feared she would attempt suicide like his mother did when his father left her
Depp with parents Betty Sue Palmer and John Christopher Depp and then-girlfriend Vanessa Paradis when he received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1999
Depp told the court that he hoped he could ‘bring Amber around.’
‘The Amber Heard I knew for the first year and a half was not this opponent, it wasn’t my girl. She had become my opponent and everything I did just didn’t fit her, she didn’t accept it.’
He spoke of their blowout fights, which he said got violent.
‘If I continued to try to present my version or my side of the story, when you’re approached in a kind of, with such anger and hatred. It seemed like pure hatred for me. If I stayed to argue I was sure it would escalate into violence and often times it did.’
‘Miss Heard in her frustration and her rage and her anger, she would strike out. It could begin with a slap, a shove, throwing a TV remote at my head, throwing a glass of wine in my face but all in all it was just a constant.
‘There was a built in list of my personal experiences which I told to Miss Heard – those things were used against me as weapons, especially when it came to my kids
‘The only ambition I’ve ever had arrived the second my first child arrived, in the instant, which was to be a good parent, to be a great father, to be the best father I could.’
Depp said that Heard would attack his parenting.
‘There were several occasions where Miss Heard would tell me what a bad father I was and that I had no idea how to parent.
I ‘couldn’t understand how how in 52 years how I could be so wrong about everything.’
Depp said he went into a ‘monumental tailspin where I could hardly go and spend time with my kids because she had to have me there at all times for her own needs, that was something that, once you realize it’s happening and there are hassles between the children and her, the situation starts to get a little more grim and a little more dire.
‘That I was not prepared to take, I would not hear the words you’re a terrible father, you’re an awful father. One can only take so much of that before bits of your brain, bits of your heart, the valve gets shut off because you can’t hear it any more and you know it’s not true and you know it’s to slice you up, to bring you down, to bring you into a place where you start to believe there’s something wrong with you.
‘There’s plenty wrong with me…but in all of these situations my main goal was to retreat because most important is pick your battles. If there’s a battle to be fought it’s grave and important that must be dealt with but small insults and kind of teenage high school tactics, this bullying if you will, it was becoming too much too take.’
Depp told the court that he hoped he could ‘bring Amber around.’ ‘The Amber Heard I knew for the first year and a half was not this opponent, it wasn’t my girl. She had become my opponent and everything I did just didn’t fit her, she didn’t accept it’
Depp and Heard met on the set of the 2011 movie The Rum Diary, turning up on the red carpet together for its London premiere
But one day she was on the phone, so he took his own boots off rather than wait.
‘I worked quite a lot and when I came home from work I’d come in the house and she’d sit me down and give me a glass of wine and take my boots off and set them to the side,’ he told the court in Fairfax, Virginia.
‘I’ve never experienced anything like that in my life. I never experienced that and it became a regular thing, kind of routine.
‘One night I came home and she was on the phone, I took my boots off, suddenly Miss Heard approached with this look on her face, she just said what did you just do? What did you do?’
He asked her what she meant and she replied: ‘You took your boots off.’
‘Yes I did, he said he told her. You were busy.’
But Amber told him: ‘No, no, no that’s my job. You don’t do that, I do that.
‘Then she said ‘Let me get you a glass of wine.’ I did take pause of course, the fact she was visibly shaken or upset that I had broken her rules of routine.
‘Once you notice something like that you start to notice other tidbits that come out.
‘Then within a year a year and a half she had become another person, almost.
Depp got emotional as he talked about how good his relationship with Amber Heard was at the beginning but how it fell apart after he took his own boots off
Depp said under oath that his wife ‘became another person, almost’ within 18 months of the boots incident
Depp, 58, was testifying in the trial in which he is suing Heard for libel over a 2018 op-ed that she wrote for the Washington Post in which she wrote about her alleged domestic abuse.
Heard, 35, is countersuing for $100 million, claiming that he smeared her when he accused her of lying.
He said in the beginning his relationship with Heard, who he met on the set of the 2011 movie The Rum Diary, was ‘too good to be true’.
‘She was attentive, she was loving, she was smart, she was funny, she was understanding. We had many things in common, certainly blues music, literature.
‘For that year, or year and a half it was amazing.’
‘From the beginning of our relationship for a good year and a half she was wonderful and then things just started to change or things started to reveal themselves is a better way to put it.’
He said he called her Slim and she called him Steve after the Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart characters in the movie To Have and Have Not.
He explained that he was the craggy Bogart and she was ‘this beautiful creature, this stunning creature,’ the much-younger Bacall.
He said it was during a kissing scene in The Rum Diary that he realized he had feelings for Heard, saying he ‘felt something he shouldn’t be feeling.’
She later went to his trailer and they kissed again.
Depp and Heard called each other Steve and Slim after the Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall characters in the movie To Have and Have Not
Johnny Depp said ex-wfe Amber Heard always insisted she take his boots off and pour him a glass of wine when he got home
The Pirates of the Caribbean actor told the court Tuesday that he started popping pills when he was just 11 and by the time he was 15 he had ‘done all the drugs that I am aware of,’ Tuesday.
He started on tablets his mother took for her nerves and progressed from there, he told the court.
‘I’d bring my mom her nerve pill, I’d take one myself to escape caring so much, feeling so much – to escape the chaotic nature of what we were living through.
‘Can’t say I’m proud of admitting that’.
He said after taking his mother’s pills he moved on to marijuana and other drugs.
He said: ‘I’ve never taken any substance for a party. I’ve taken these substances on and off to numb myself of the ghosts, the wraiths that were still with me from my youth.
‘Essentially self medication, one of those get-me-out-of-here moments. You want to escape from your own brain, your own head’.
Depp said that by 15 he had ‘done all the drugs I was aware of’ but he didn’t continue at such a rate.
He said there were ‘many years’ he didn’t even have a drink’ and that he ‘wasn’t dropping acid every five minutes’.
And he said that his ex-wife’s claims about his drug abuse were exaggerated.
He said: ‘The characterization of my ‘substance abuse’ that’s been delivered by Miss Heard is grossly embellished and I’m sorry to say but a lot of it is just plainly false
‘It was an easy target for her to hit because once you’ve trusted somebody for a certain amount of years and you’ve told them all the secrets of your life that information can be used against you, especially if it’s taken to a point that’s teetering on impossible, teetered over impossible at times.
Heard and Depp in the movie The Rum Diary where they met. Johnny said he ‘felt something he should not have felt’ during a kissing scene in the movie
‘I am not some maniac who needs to be high or loaded all the time.
Depp said he learned how to bring up children from his mother Betty Sue Palmer. ‘Justdo the opposite of what she would do’
‘In fact before Australia I’d been off of alcohol for about 18 months,’ he added referring to the time when he lost part of a finger, when, he claimed, Heard threw a bottle at him.
But he admitted that he got hooked on the painkiller Roxycontin – which he called Roxies – after getting sciatica from throwing a chair through a window in Pirates of the Caribbean 4.
‘It’s not like you take those pills to get high, you’re taking those pills to get well or better because if you’re without the pill your body will start to go into withdrawal,’ he said.
Depp shook his head and smiled when asked if he had done opiates since detoxing, telling the jury: ‘No I can’t.
‘Once you’ve been bit you’ll be bit again.’
Depp apologized for sending his best friend vile texts about Heard saying he wanted to see her ‘rotting corpse decomposing in the f***ing trunk of a Honda Civic’.
‘I’m ashamed of some of the references made. I’m embarrassed that at the time the heat of the moment, the heat of the pain that I was feeling went to dark places.
He said: ‘Sometimes pain has to be dealt with with humor and sometimes dark, very dark humor.
‘I grew up watching Monty Python so it can tend to get into dark humor. It can tend to get into…words are used for emphasis and words are used to express what you’re feeling at the time. It’s just like growing up, you learn from those mistakes, you learn from those things and you move forward’.
Earlier, Depp had talked about his upbringing, saying he had been regularly abused by his mother Betty Sue Palmer, who died in 2016.
But he said he learned a lot from his parents, especially about bringing up children.
‘I knew exactly how to raise children when my girl Vanessa (Paradis) got pregnant I knew exactly how to raise children which was to do the opposite of what they did.