Meghan Markle graces the cover of the December edition of the American fashion magazine, Harper’s Bazaar. While the images showcase stunning outfits and jewelry from luxury brands like Celine, Chanel, and Cartier (with some pieces belonging to Meghan herself), the accompanying interview falls flat. The conversation is filled with clichés and indirect criticisms, lacking any real introspection from the Duchess.

Alongside the magazine spread is a black-and-white Instagram video offering a behind-the-scenes look at the photoshoot. The slow-motion footage attempts to convey seriousness, but instead borders on awkwardness, reminiscent of a French & Saunders comedy sketch.

Interviewed by Kaitlyn Greenidge, an acclaimed novelist, the piece reads more like fiction than journalism. There’s a noticeable absence of sharp questioning or humor. Meghan frequently insists on her ‘fun’ nature, emphasizing how diligently she works on her brand from her charming kitchen-adjacent desk, a setting she seldom seems to leave.

Greenidge praises Meghan as part of a generation of women seeking fulfillment through their careers. While most people work out of necessity, the portrayal of Meghan is wrapped in aspirational language. The narrative suggests that Meghan is crafting a life and career uniquely her own, underscoring her authenticity.

The article continues to explore how powerful women, like Meghan, navigate their influence. It suggests that Meghan leads with warmth rather than intimidation. Claims of her bullying behavior are dismissed, illustrated by her charm when encountering a prominent film industry figure at their interview location in Beverly Hills.

One notable deviation from the otherwise flattering coverage occurs when the interviewer labels Meghan, 44, as an ‘elder millennial.’ This characterization might have caused Meghan to chuckle over the personalized latte art of her likeness, a playful nod to the age distinction that seems more fitting for fine wine than a Hollywood star.

Throughout their chat, the epithets ‘mom’ and ‘founder’ crop up yawningly often. Meghan manages a dig at her own mother, Doria Ragland, calling her ‘a free spirit’, while the Duchess, on the other hand, has made motherhood ‘a study, using books and apps, a diligence that has made her an authority within her friend circle’, observes Greenidge. Well, that’s one way to get you barred from Mumsnet.

The Duchess of Sussex speaks during the 2025 TIME100 Summit

Meghan even lets the kiddies near the stove for the jam-making, but there’s a reason: ‘I hope [Archie and Lilibet] see the value of being brave. They saw it when the jam was just a pot on the stove, bubbling.’

Honestly, Megs? You are not a kitchen-table start-up. You married a prince. It’s quite clever, though – and the friends, including Serena Williams, all say how smart she is – that the Duchess manages to shoehorn her lifestyle brand As Ever into almost every paragaph when it’s the least interesting thing about her.

Talking of Prince Harry: ‘No one in the world loves me more than him,’ Meghan gushes. ‘So I know he’s always going to make sure that he has my back’.

When she talks of ‘H’, she places a manicured, bejewelled hand on her heart and says he possesses a ‘childlike wonder and playfulness’. Do grown men and fathers, especially one who has seen combat, want to be described in such a fashion? Is she saying he’s a man-child with mummy issues?

It gets worse: ‘He sees media that I wouldn’t,’ she says. Ah, she’s letting us know he can read.

This cover story comes after reports that the Sussexes have lost their allure for many Americans.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex pictured in the Christmas special of With Love, Meghan

You can read between the glossy lines that Meghan knows she needs to fire-fight. But then we also read in the interview – the second half of which takes place in a friend’s New York home – that the house manager announces, ‘Meghan, Duchess of Sussex’ as she enters, even though the only other person present is the interviewer.

That Hallmark movie moment shouts volumes: a fake display showing that she is grasping on to the brief period of her life when she actually did deserve a magazine cover. I wonder if she wears a tiara in bed?

Of course, the whole point of this exercise is to plead, ‘Do I not bleed?’ But then we spy a shot of her wearing head-to-toe The Row, a label only millionaires can afford. Or see the ‘barefaced’ portraits – in which, clearly, Meghan is wearing make-up. Or suffer through the trailer for the Christmas special of With Love, Meghan, as she trills, ‘Let’s go craft!’ – I imagine we all feel as queasy as if we’d eaten an entire tin of Quality Street. It’s all as fake as her mate Kris Jenner’s face.

Meghan says finally, attempting to be as sage as the ‘erbs she forages in ‘the garden’: ‘There’s no such thing as perfect. I, too, get to make mistakes.’

Well, this interview is a great big fat one.