Michelle Heaton has admitted she prioritised heading straight to the off licence to buy more vodka over doing the school run for her children at the height of her battle with booze.
The former Liberty X singer, 42, checked into The Priory in April last year in a bid to beat her alcohol addiction and now lives a life of abstinence.
But she says her craving for drink was so strong at the height of her illness that she became consumed by her own needs rather than those of her children Faith, nine, and Aaron, seven.
Tough times: Michelle Heaton, 42, prioritised heading straight to the off licence to buy more vodka over doing the school run for her children at the height of her addiction
The former Pop Stars contestant told The Sun: ‘I would always promise myself this was the last time I was going to drink or use cocaine. But I’d wake up with the fear of it not being there and have to buy more vodka.
‘I’d manipulate friends into picking up the kids from school. I was selfish. I was exhausted.
‘I didn’t want to lie, but I had to because I needed alcohol. It was relentless.’
Looking back: Last year, Michelle shared a shocking picture of herself looking unwell from before she went to rehab, with the star admitting she was unable to stop drinking for her family
Michelle would head to the shop each morning to get more alcohol to settle her nerves after drinking round the clock.
She was told she would die if she did not confront her problems, with her liver being on the verge of cirrhosis by the time she checked into rehab.
The reality star’s husband Hugh Hanley, 42, says he wasn’t sure Michelle would survive as her body was ‘shutting down’ while she carried on ‘drinking more than ever’.
Passed out: Her craving for drink was so strong at the height of her illness that she became consumed by her own needs rather than those of her children Faith, nine, and Aaron, seven
Stuck in a cycle: Michelle would head to the shop each morning to get more alcohol to settle her nerves after drinking round the clock (pictured after leaving rehab in May 2021)
And Hugh knew that if he made the decision to end their 11-year marriage, their children would be at risk of losing their mother as she could have descended further into her addictions.
Michelle had been drinking heavily for a number of years before checking into rehab, often downing two bottles of wine and a bottle of vodka within 24 hours.
The media personality admitted she was ‘willing to die’ as she couldn’t see a way out of her problems.
Transformation: This week, Michelle shared a before and after photo of herself from the day she entered rehab last year as she looked ahead to 2022
Her friends and family staged an intervention, encouraging her to get the help she needs.
This week, Michelle shared a before and after shot of her body, with the before shot taken the day she entered rehab.
Sharing a picture of herself looking ‘swollen from a failing liver’, she wrote: ‘So.. 2021 for me was a whole load of different things. But it turned out to be the best year of my life – a life beyond my wildest dreams.
‘And with that me & @hughhanley are working on helping others change their habits and lifestyle starting in the coming months so look out for our news!
‘But, today, Not only am I grateful for achieving 8 months sobriety, but my body, mind and soul has been replenished with love. I had to learn to love myself to become well again!
‘The first photo was taken the first day I went into the @priorygroup 27th April 2021. – scared – alone – no hope – grey & swollen from a failing liver & pancreas I wanted to document my journey for myself and now I’m ready to show what the body can do with hard work and a clear mind.
‘The other is right now (took me ages to fish out similar knickers god knows where my sports bra is) – happy – self loved and self care – filled with hope – energy, ambition and healthy.’
If you need support call the Samaritans on 116 123 or email [email protected]
Wow: The former Liberty X star, has been open about her battle with alcohol and shared a snap of herself from when she was ‘swollen from a failing liver’