Forgive me, but did I suddenly wake up in the 1800s? Did I doze off and drift back to the era of corsets and aromatic salts? Should I be preparing my lace doilies and concealing chair legs in anticipation of an inspection from the decency brigade?

I can’t be the only one who thinks that the hysterical global response to the Coldplay ‘kiss cam’ couple has been completely disproportionate.

Yes, the incident was embarrassing; certainly unfortunate; and undoubtedly significant for those who were directly impacted. But do they really merit being chastised by the entire world? This response seems excessive for a middle-aged pair sharing an embrace at a concert. It’s not even as if they were passionately kissing.

Yet, the way this duo – Andy Byron, CEO of the tech startup Astronomer, and Kristin Cabot, their chief ‘people’ officer – have been criticized, you’d think they were involved in something as scandalous as former Secretary of State Matt Hancock’s notorious affair.

Instead, a fleeting embrace, and the moral judgment of the entire world comes crashing down upon their heads. Has everyone gone completely mad?

So what if he’s not her husband and she’s not his wife? So what if they’re having an affair, or even just thinking about having an affair (the footage is certainly no proof of anything beyond an obvious mutual affection)? They’re both consenting adults. They’re also not the first mid-life couple to stray, and they certainly won’t be the last.

Who knows what their intentions were, or the circumstances of their relationship? Judging by the reaction of one of the people they were with, another employee at the same company, it wasn’t entirely a surprise.

Then again, perhaps they just got carried away by the music (personally Coldplay tends to put me in a coma, but there’s no accounting for taste). Perhaps it was a fleeting moment that both might have thought better of the next day. Or perhaps they had already decided to move on from their respective marriages.

Point is, falling in love is not a crime, nor is falling out of love. It’s just what humans do.

There’s no need for everyone to gloat. Especially since most people will at some point in their lives find themselves in a similar situation, whether they care to admit it or not.

Life is messy; love is messy. Marriage is complicated and challenging.

People grow and change, and sometimes they don’t grow together or in the same way however hard they work at it. Sometimes one is happy and the other is not. Sometimes they don’t want the same things.

Those who do are the lucky ones, or the clever ones, depending on your point of view. Either way, it never pays to be too smug; Cupid’s arrow can make a fool of even the most sober soul.

Sometimes an affair is just a sexual distraction, sometimes it’s something more than that. At their age – they’re both in their early 50s – it’s also what tends to happen.

Kids are grown-up, sex with your spouse is perfunctory (if at all) – it’s one last adventure, one chance to feel alive again before you start cultivating asparagus and take up cold-water swimming.

It’s a cliche as old as time itself, of course. It might even be, if you believe in such things, a sin.

But it is not – yet – a crime so heinous they should both be cast out by the entire world, a modern-day Adam and Eve condemned to eternal disgrace.

And yet the man – Byron – has had to resign from his job, while her fate hangs in the balance. But why?

What has his private life got to do with his work?

Fair enough, she was his head of HR, so from a corporate perspective that’s definitely a little awkward. But it hardly seems like a sackable offence.

And what’s with all the ‘lawyer up’ and ‘take him to the cleaners’ stuff directed at his wife? Of course, she has a right to feel betrayed and angry, but that’s between them. Nothing to do with anyone else.

I don’t know when the world became so judgmental, but I do know that you shouldn’t destroy a person’s entire existence on the basis of a three-second film clip at a pop concert.

Let’s cut these people some slack, and let them and their shocked families get on with putting their lives back together.

Blame PM when water bills rise 

How does the Prime Minister reconcile his environmental zeal for Net Zero with his government’s plans to build huge AI data centres?

Quite apart from the fact that AI will only end up enriching a bunch of tech bros in California while putting half the country out of work, it also consumes vast amount of energy and water, since all those banks of computers require vast cooling systems.

An independent report predicts that water bills will rise by 30 per cent over the next five years to cope with extra demand.

And who will pay for this madness? Why, us fools, of course.

The words ‘turkey’ and ‘Christmas’ spring to mind.

Wouldn’t ministers be delighted if the pension age really did rise to 74? Given that the average life expectancy in the UK is around 80 (and falling), that would save an awful lot of cash. 

Who knows if Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson, who are starring together in a remake of The Naked Gun, really are an item – or if their cracking chemistry is just for the cameras.

But if it’s true, I’m here for it.

I can’t imagine a more intriguing couple – like a 21st-century version of Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller.

On Monday, the House of Lords voted to oust the remaining hereditary peers.

It’s a great shame: not only are the hereditaries the only truly independent members in the Upper Chamber, but many have also done much good work over the years.

If I were Kemi Badenoch, I would use my allocation of annual peerages (I think she gets six) to reappoint some of the most deserving instead of handing them out to the usual cronies.

It would annoy the hell out of Labour (always fun) – and it would mean that people like James Bethell, who has been focusing on improving online safety and in particular clamping down on access to online pornography for children, could continue their important work.

I’m glad for his sake that Vanessa Feltz’s ex, Ben Ofoedu, has found happiness with his new wife, but there’s no earthly justification for his bitchy remarks about the TV presenter.

In an interview to coincide with his wedding last week, he claimed Ms Feltz stole the ‘best years of [his] life’ and used him as ‘eye candy’. Perhaps someone should remind him that without her no one would have a clue who he was, much less care.

You dodged a bullet there, Vanessa.

Anti-Trump protesters are no doubt planning a variety of eye-catching stunts to coincide with the President’s visit to Scotland at the end of this week. He will, of course, relish every second of the attention.

If they really wanted to upset him they should just ignore him.

Despite the fanfare, Meghan Sussex’s Netflix show has failed to capture the imagination of viewers, not even breaking into the streamer’s top 300. It has even been outstripped by re-runs of Suits.

Insiders now claim the couple’s $100million deal is dead. Meanwhile, negotiations between Prince Harry’s ‘people’ and the King continue. Coincidence?