With sweat trickling down my back and my heart pounding, I braced myself for yet another intense hot flash to pass. Menopause had arrived with an unexpected force, turning my world upside down and leaving my health and well-being in disarray.
Overwhelmed by the relentless sweats, fatigue, and unsettling heart palpitations, I found myself seeking solace in food. It became my go-to comfort during these challenging moments.
Turning to food in times of stress was nothing new for me. For years, I had battled with maintaining a healthy weight, often finding temporary relief in the contents of my fridge or the convenience of takeout. This habit of comfort eating became my coping mechanism throughout the tumultuous journey of menopause.
I indulged in snacks like crisps, cheesy garlic bread, and greasy pizzas, hoping in vain to ease the symptoms of menopause. Instead, my weight spiraled out of control, eventually reaching 17 stone. At 5 feet 6 inches tall, this gave me a body mass index (BMI) of 38.4, classifying me as obese.
After all, I had battled my weight for years. I had long sought solace during difficult times in the fridge or a takeaway menu, and comfort eating became my default way of coping with my menopause.
Crisps, cheesy garlic bread, greasy pizzas… I tried, and failed, to soothe my menopausal symptoms by stuffing myself – with the result that my weight just spiralled upwards and out of control, reaching 17st which, at 5ft 6, gave me a BMI of 38.4, meaning I was obese.
The painful irony was, my weight only made my symptoms worse and left me needing medication, and emotionally I felt lower than ever.
My weight battle began in my late teens when I stopped competitive swimming, something I’d enjoyed throughout childhood.
Left, 5ft 6in Nicola Graham was 17st, giving her a BMI of 38.4. Right, she lost 7st so now wears a dress size 10
Training every day had kept me fit and slim as a child, and I ate what I wanted.
However, when my swimming stopped aged 16, I carried on eating the large portions I’d needed to fuel my body but, without the exercise to burn off calories, the weight crept on.
By my early 20s I was a size 20 and weighed more than 15st, and had come to accept I was just always going to be ‘the larger than life’ friend in my social circle.
But inside I felt anything but. My knees and hips ached constantly and I spent eight months on crutches after surgery in my early 30s, to repair cartilage damage.
Thanks to a diet of takeaways, chocolate and wine, the pounds kept piling on and my health worsened.
I would have loved a family with my husband Ian, an operations manager, who has three children from a previous relationship, but despite several rounds of fertility treatment, we weren’t successful, and of course being overweight may have affected my chances of conceiving.
Then, around 2022, when I was 51, I became menopausal.
In my busy job as an HR director, I was completely unprepared for how the menopause affected me. I suddenly felt invisible to the world. My brain was foggy and I was constantly exhausted. The hot flushes and night sweats were relentless — my bedding was never out of the wash.
Thanks to a diet of takeaways, chocolate and wine, the pounds kept piling on and my health worsened, writes Nicola
She lost 5lb in the first week and that was a lightbulb moment for her – she began to believe it was possible to lose weight
Comfort eating became my way of coping with the symptoms. I just couldn’t get my head in the game to control my weight and every time I stepped on the scales, the number was higher, until I went from 15st to 17st in a period of 18 months.
My diet was horrendous. I’d skip breakfast, have a frozen pizza for lunch then in the evening a creamy curry with buttery rice and poppadoms, followed by chocolate and ice cream, all washed down with a couple of glasses of wine and a late night bag of crisps.
As my weight increased, my health took a battering and I was prescribed medication for high blood pressure and suffered prolonged heart palpitations.
It was terrifying and I felt incredibly anxious, especially when I lost my 85-year-old father in December 2023, when I was aged 52.
It made me think, was I facing my own mortality too if I carried on this way, neglecting my health so badly?
In January 2024 I joined a local Slimming World group with Ian, who was also overweight.
Standing on the scales at 17st and a size 20, at my first meeting, I felt ashamed and embarrassed.
I lost 5lb in the first week and that was a lightbulb moment – I began to believe I could do this, I could lose this weight.
I began to overhaul my diet, with overnight oats and fruit for breakfast, smoked salmon salad for lunch and a roast chicken dinner in the evening, snacking on fruit, high-fibre cereal bars and gin with slimline tonic if I fancied a drink.
That September, Ian, 58, and I decided to get married after 11 years together.
We travelled from our home in East Boldon, South Tyneside, to a tiny private island in Kos for our dream Mamma Mia-style wedding in a whitewashed chapel, where I wore a fitted size 14 ivory gown.
Slimming World gave her a Greatest Loser award in 2025. To date, Ian and Nicola have lost an incredible 12 stone between them
We carried on attending Slimming World. I needed support and accountability and my consultant and group members have been amazing, we are all there for one another.
To date, Ian and I have lost an incredible 12 stone between us. I’ve lost seven, slimming from 17st to 9st 13lb and a size 20 to a 10, and Ian has lost five stone.
My health has dramatically improved – my blood pressure returned to normal, I no longer need medication and the palpitations stopped. The fear I felt eased as the scales went down.
Last spring, I ticked off a life-long goal, to climb Catbells in the Lake District, an iconic fell with spectacular views. It had always been a dream of mine and standing at the summit, I felt incredibly emotional reflecting on everything I’d overcome.
I look back on my experience of the menopause and I wonder how I made it through. Carrying all the extra weight only made it a harder time in my life.
At my lowest point I felt like I was disappearing, my confidence at rock bottom but now I feel strong and empowered.
I lost control during the menopause – but I took it back and I feel so proud.
As told to Matthew Barbour.
