Brooke Shields admitted she lived in “agony” over her late mother’s alcoholism.

In her memoir, “Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed To Get Old,” Shields candidly discussed her relationship with her mother, Teri Shields, who passed away in October 2012 following a prolonged battle with dementia.

Shields revealed her conflicting feelings towards her mother, stating, “My mom always billed herself as someone who was non-judgmental – she really hung her hat on that – but that’s not how she came across to me,” as reported by Daily Mail.

She further reflected on the impact of being raised by an alcoholic, expressing, “I always felt like I was going to be in trouble for something, or that I was wrong, and I was often waiting for the other shoe to drop. This is a consequence of being raised by an alcoholic.”

“Mom’s alcoholism was a constant source of agony for me, and I was always a little skittish and on edge,” she continued.

“Work, even if I knew both the industry and public opinion to be fickle, felt stable in the sense that when you were on set, the space was contained and there were rules by which you had to abide. You and your schedule were always accounted for. That was freeing in a way.”

Shields’ mom served as her manager beginning when the actress was only 11 months old. While Shields felt “stable” on set, she didn’t know what to expect from her mother at home.

“At home with my mom, on the other hand, I never knew what was going to happen,” the “Mother of the Bride” star admitted. “Plans would change at a moment’s notice. So would moods.”

When it came time to raise her own children with husband Chris Henchy, Shields wanted to do things differently.

“I wanted to protect my own kids from living with feelings of instability, uncertainty or fear, so I built in routine and ritual wherever I could,” she explained in the memoir. “I encouraged them to be outspoken and opinionated rather than timid. I urged them to express their opinions.”

“I wanted them to know that nothing was off-limits, that we could talk about anything,” Shields continued. “That didn’t mean there weren’t consequences, but we’d discuss why they acted a certain way.”

However, her relationship with her late mom was “complicated.”

“My whole life I went to her for absolutely everything,” the model wrote, according to the Daily Mail. “Yes, I feared being judged or reprimanded. Yes, I was guilt-ridden whenever I thought my behavior would disappoint her.”

“And yet the pull to her was so strong,” she added.

“A magnetic field surrounded her, and even when I knew better, I was always pulled back in. Love is a very powerful motivator.”

Shields’ relationship with her mother and her career were explored in the documentary “Pretty Baby,” which premiered in 2023.

The film focused largely on the controversies that occurred while she acted and modeled at a young age.

There was backlash over Shields’ Calvin Klein jeans campaign, her role as a child prostitute at the age of 11 and the sex scene she filmed for “Endless Love” at the age of 16.

In 1981, Shields lost a lawsuit against photographer Garry Gross. He had photographed Shields nude at the age of 10 and sold the pictures later.