In the Arena of Make-Believe, I wish President Trump would show up at his press conferences with a five-inch high stack of 8×10 cards hand-lettered with a big fat Sharpie. Imagine this:

Press member: “President Trump…Was your national security team derelict in their duty when they engaged in the Signal chat about bombing Houthis?”

President Trump, shuffling through his index cards, pulls one out and holds it up. It says “PRESIDENT BIDEN, ARE YOU MENTALLY FIT TO PERFORM YOUR DUTIES?” Then he replies to the reporter, “Since you guys never asked him this, I’m claiming a pass. I’m not going to answer your question because you don’t have enough professional credibility as a reporter to ask that of Biden. Next.“

Different Press Member: “President Trump, did your administration ignore Circuit Court Judge Boasberg’s ruling to stop flights of migrants to Venezuela?”

Again, Trump turns to his very large, very tall stack of cards, and this one he just pulls right off the top. He holds it up. High. “PRESIDENT BIDEN, DID YOU IGNORE THE SCOTUS RULING THAT CONFIRMED YOU HAVE NO POWER TO FORGIVE 48 BILLION DOLLARS IN STUDENT LOANS AND THEN FORGAVE THEM ANYWAY?”

“Taking the Pass. Again. You didn’t ask Biden this one, you don’t get to ask me that one. Next…“

Now, sure, this is out of FantasyLand, but wouldn’t it be a great way to make and repeatedly underscore the failure of modern journalism? A broad and satirical exposure of prejudice, bias, double-standard, and open hostility to Donald Trump just because he’s...Donald Trump? 

I think it would. And the sad beauty/reality of this practice is that he’d never ever run out of cards to hold up. From “Mrs. Clinton, did you deny the results of the 2016 election? Doesn’t that make you an election denier?” to “President Biden, if you believe the pullout from Afghanistan was a success, in which 13 Marines were murdered and $80 Billion in weapons was given to the enemy…can you tell us what your idea of failure looks like?” Just think of that — and then all of the cards in between. Earlier, I said a five-inch high stack of cards. As I write this, I’m thinking it would be more like five feet.

“PRESIDENT BIDEN…WHY DID YOU TAKE HOME CLASSIFIED MATERIAL WHEN YOU WERE A SENATOR AND VICE PRESIDENT AND DID NOT HAVE ANY LEGAL AUTHORITY TO DO SO? AND SHOULDN’T YOU BE INVESTIGATED TO THE SAME EXTENT THAT YOU’RE INVESTIGATING DONALD TRUMP?”

“MR MAYORKAS, YOU SAY THAT THE BORDER IS SECURE. HOW DO YOU ACCOUNT FOR THE 15,000 GOTAWAYS LAST MONTH CITED BY BORDER PATROL? IS THE BORDER PATROL JUST WRONG, OR ARE YOU?”

“DIRECTOR COMEY, YOU’VE TESTIFIED WITH THE ANSWER ‘I DON’T RECALL’  35 TIMES IN ONE INTERVIEW BEFORE CONGRESS. WITH A MEMORY THAT POOR, HOW COULD YOU HAVE BEEN COMPETENT ENOUGH TO HOLD YOUR POSITION AS HEAD OF THE FBI?”

“JUDGE BROWN-JACKSON, YOU TESTIFIED BEFORE CONGRESS THAT YOU WERE UNABLE TO DEFINE THE WORD ‘WOMAN’ BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT A BIOLOGIST.   FROM THAT LINE OF THINKING, IS IT REASONABLE TO DEDUCE THAT YOU CANNOT DEFINE THE WORD ‘DOG’ AS WELL BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT A VETERINARIAN?”

Oh, the list would have no end. The stack of Trump Cards would have no end. My reasoning is pretty simple. If the press was so incurious as to ask none of these kinds of questions before, why should Trump take their questions when they suddenly become curious? And I’m talking about the “gotcha” questions or the veiled hostile questions that they always seem to ask him. 

Now, he doesn’t have any problems answering any questions, so this is not about him. It’s about the press. And I think it would be just lovely for him to stick his finger in their eye and turn the tables on them.