It’s time an unholy trinity of Joe Biden apologists face the music.

CNN’s Jake Tapper, ABC’s George Stephanopoulos and Bill Maher (or as I like to call him: New Jersey Snoop Dogg) want you to forget what they said about America’s former overcooked sweet potato of a president.

Well, I won’t. So, here’s both barrels.

First up, Jake ‘The Snake’ Tapper, who is hawking a book titled ‘Original Sin: President Biden’s Decline, Its Cover-Up, and His Disastrous Choice to Run Again.’

Ironically, it was Tapper who committed a transgression that would make Adam blush.

Back in 2020, he suplexed Lara Trump in a contentious interview after she dared question Stammering Joe’s aging melon.

‘I think you’re mocking his stutter,’ he spat at her. ‘I think that you have no standing to diagnose someone’s cognitive decline.’

That’s rich, Tapper. Maybe you have no standing to write a supposedly objective book about a ‘cover-up’ in which you took part!

First up, Jake ‘The Snake’ Tapper, who is hawking a book titled ‘Original Sin: President Biden’s Decline, Its Cover-Up, and His Disastrous Choice to Run Again.’

Next, George ‘Stepstool’ Stephanopoulos.

This diminutive media powerhouse was launched into overdrive after that June 27 presidential debate between Orange Don and Deathly-White Joe. The Showdown in the Sanitarium revealed Biden to be little more than a talking tuber.

Looking for safe harbor, the White House hurriedly cobbled together a July 5 interview with Georgie Porgie – a reliable water-carrier for the Democrats. But even that failed, after the ex-president whiffed on George’s softballs.

Too bad, Stephanopoulos wasn’t hefty enough to say that himself, except in some off-hand, hastily walked-back remarks to a random TMZ reporter.

Now, author Chris Whipple has revealed in his new Biden breakdown book ‘Uncharted,’ that George had much more to say than that. ‘Stephanopoulos questioned the president gently, like a grandson,’ Whipple wrote. ‘Afterward, when I asked the ABC anchor by email for his impressions, he replied: ‘Heartbreaking up close.’

‘Heartbreaking’ indeed, George… for everyone who thought you had more tenacity.

Finally, there’s Bill Maher, who said this in March 2024: ‘Stop acting like life in America in 2024 is unbearable. Biden’s ratings are in the toilet not because he’s doing such a bad job because a lot of Americans like to live with their head in the toilet.’

Look out, Bill… It’s a floater!

Next, George ‘Stepstool’ Stephanopoulos. This diminutive media powerhouse was launched into overdrive after that June 27 presidential debate between Orange Don and Deathly-White Joe. The Showdown in the Sanitarium revealed Biden to be little more than a talking tuber.

Finally, there’s Bill Maher, who said this in March 2024: ‘Stop acting like life in America in 2024 is unbearable. Biden’s ratings are in the toilet not because he’s doing such a bad job because a lot of Americans like to live with their head in the toilet.’

Now Maher’s positioning himself as incredibly brave and virtuous for going with his friend Kid Rock to meet Trump in the Oval Office. (He probably only went to pull a Willie Nelson on the White House roof.)

The visit was well-received by conservatives who’d like to see more skeptics take the high road instead of fire-bombing Teslas. But I question Maher’s sincerity are having known him for over 30 years.

I was lucky enough to appear on one of the earliest episodes of ‘Politically Incorrect’ in 1993, and followed him as a pundit to ABC and eventually to Real Time.

But after I had the audacity to sacrifice one of Bill’s sacred cows and challenge him over his atheism in 2012, I was told in 2013 that Bill would never have me on his show again.

Shove it, Maher.

I watched for years as he chucked hunks of red meat to his progressive live audience, and now that socialism has fallen out of favor, he wants to blaze another trail.

Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Private company Colossal Biosciences used preserved DNA from a common gray wolf and some good old-fashioned genome sequencing to re-animate 10,000-year-extinct dire wolves.

Next up for Colossal: the wooly mammoth, the dodo and the Tasmanian tiger.

Asked if they could resuscitate Joe Biden, a company spokesperson said, ‘Oh hell no, technology that advanced doesn’t exist!’

Private company Colossal Biosciences used preserved DNA from a common gray wolf and some good old-fashioned genome sequencing to re-animate 10,000-year-extinct dire wolves .

Space racy 

Lauren Sanchez and a posse of gal pals are set to leave the planet Monday aboard one of fiancé Jeff Bezos’ rockets on a suborbital flight to nowhere.

The Blue Origin New Shepard flight will last 11 minutes and cost $40 million, which is more money and less time than Sanchez spent on her lips.

If the capsule encounters any trouble upon landing, Captain Lauren’s luscious lady lumps can be repurposed into flotation devices.

Made in Montecito

We can all breathe a sigh of relief after Meghan Markle assured the world that her recently launched ‘As Ever’ line won’t be touched by Donald Trump’s tariffs.

‘I think during any time of recession, people still want to find creature comforts, items that can bring them joy,’ she squeaked.

Right, Meg. Because when times are tough those regular folk shop for $14 jam, $28 wildflower honey and $15 ‘flower sprinkles’ – whatever the heck that is.

We can all breathe a sigh of relief after Meghan Markle assured the world that her recently launched ‘As Ever’ line won’t be touched by Donald Trump’s tariffs.

Never-ending with us

Blake Lively claimed she was nearly nude in her It Ends With Us hospital delivery scene, and that the actor cast as the OB was actually Justin Baldoni’s creepy best friend.

That actor, Adam Mondschein, shot back in a podcast saying the scene was totally professional and listed off the garments that Blathering Blake was allegedly wearing, including bike shorts, a hospital gown, a prosthetic belly… galoshes, Victorian pantaloons and some Gorton’s fisherman coveralls.

I used to be Team Blake, then I switched to Team Justin, now I’m on Team Shut the Hell Up and Go Away.

Handsy holiday

Reality show designer Christina Haack was on a Cabo vacation losing her mind with new boyfriend, tech CEO Christopher Larocca — who was giving her a free breast exam at the very populated resort bar.

He was probably just making sure she hadn’t sprung a silicone leak!

Who needs Montezuma’s revenge when Mr. Man Boobs and Señorita Serial Cheater can make you barf from their PDA?