Pest Control Co. Offers Big Bucks to Dump 100 Roaches in Your House and See if They Can Catch Them – RedState
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Ever tried to figure out how to cash in on your cockroaches?

Unfortunately, your current six-legged roommates will likely remain revenue-less deadbeats.

However, if you’re willing to open your doors to dozens more dictyopteran denizens, you and your family could have a veritable money machine crawling around and crapping in your carpet. And maybe in your mid-sleep mouths.

As reported by the New York Post, a pest control company in North Carolina is offering big bucks to homeowners who appreciate easy money.

The Pest Informer will fork over two grand, and all you have to do is give a grand welcome:

[The] company is offering homeowners $2,000 in order for them to allow 100 cockroaches to be released into their [houses].

So just let the critters make themselves at home. No need to give them the tour; they’ll find every nook and cranny unassisted.

The company’s coughing up copious amounts of cash because they’d like to see if an innovative method of removal actually works:

[T]he Pest Informer is making the offer to homeowners in an attempt to test out “a specific pest control technique” and see how effective it is.

If you’d like to find out whether they’ll be able to rid you of those roaches, you’d better act fast; Per ThePestInformer.com, space is limited:

We are currently hiring 5-7 household owners to allow us to release ~100 American cockroaches into your home, and give us permission to film, and test out a specific cockroach treatment.

Indeed, they’d like to “gauge how effective [the] treatment is.”

The study will last “approximately 30 days.” During that period, might the plaguing pests get biblical and multiply?

Here’s some online information on American roach gestation:

Females lay their eggs in a hard capsule known as ootheca, which they produce a week after mating. They create a single ootheca monthly for ten months, with each capsule containing 16 or so eggs. Pregnant cockroach usually carry the egg case for several days before depositing it in a safe location. American roaches have a gestation period of about 44 days.

Forty-four is obviously greater than thirty, but could some females get knocked up and missed in the removal, relegated to raising their rugrats in your toothbrush drawer?

Or might select visiting Blattodea birthing persons already be expecting? Cockroach Zone offers an explainer on how you can tell:

A female cockroach is pregnant if you notice a brown protrusion from the lower part of her body. This bean-like sac is an egg casing, also known as the ootheca, and usually contains about 16 to 40 eggs. Female cockroaches can lay up to 14 egg capsules or produce 400 offspring in their lifetime.

If all the hundred roaches are male, of course, you run the risk of them impregnating the eligible arthropods already living with you.

But what’s a house full of roaches if you’ve got $2,000? That’s enough for nearly two tanks of Biden-era gas.

Other uses for your hefty financial haul:

  • For the male reader: A way to afford a nice piece of jewelry for your wife. Don’t tell her about the deal you’ve made; surprises are romantic.
  • A first-month’s rent for your suddenly-single bachelor pad, should that amorous effort fail.

Ready to sign up? The Pest Informer rolls out the rules:

  • You must own the home or have written approval from the homeowner.
  • You must be 21 years or older to qualify.
  • You must be located in the Continental United States
  • All tested cockroach treatments will be family and pet safe.
  • You must not try any additional cockroach treatments during the duration of the study.
  • The duration of this study will be approximately 30 days.

“If you believe you’re in the right household for the job,” the site says, “please fill out our application form below and we’ll get back to you shortly!”

And if the new method of extermination doesn’t work, don’t worry:

At the end of the study, if the cockroach infestation hasn’t been eliminated, we will use traditional cockroach treatment options at no cost to you.

Seems like a golden opportunity. Good luck to all of you who rush to apply.

-ALEX

 

See more content from me:

New York Spent More Than $200,000 on Drag Queens — at Public Schools

Firefighters Rescue M&M’s Factory Workers Who Got Stuck in a Giant Vat of Chocolate

Report: College Strong-Arms Students Into ‘Agreeing’ They’re Culpable Colonizers

Find all my RedState work here.

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