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A sex and relationship therapist has issued a stark warning to couples who may be looking to introduce the concept of open monogamy into their relationship.
Polyamorous relationships are becoming more and more common in the current dating climate as many couples are initially meeting online and feel comfortable enough to be open about their preferences from the get go.
Speaking exclusively to DailyMail.com, Dr. Tammy Nelson explained: ‘With longer life expectancy and evolving relationship norms, more couples than ever are realizing that a single, lifelong monogamous partnership may not meet all their emotional and physical needs.
‘Non-monogamy, or what I refer to as open monogamy, allows partners to co-create a flexible monogamy agreement that reflects both partners’ evolving emotional, romantic, and sexual desires while maintaining intimacy and trust.’
In fact, Dr. Nelson created a Monogamy Continuum that allows couples to figure out where they might be – or want to be – on the monogamy scale.
With 10 different points on the continuum, individuals can identify where they land and better communicate their needs, not only to their partners, but also with others in their lives.
However, there’s one very important aspect to opening up a relationship and it involves keeping the discussion wide open.
‘Without clear communication and mutual consent, couples risk falling into “monoga-messy” situations where secrecy, jealousy, or mismatched expectations can lead to hurt and disconnection,’ Dr. Nelson warned.

A sex and relationship therapist has issued a stark warning to couples who may be looking to introduce the concept of open monogamy into their relationship (stock image)
‘Monoga-messy’ is just one of the discreet dictionary terms created by online dating service Ashley Madison, which caters to married people.
The term can be used when a couple decides to open up their relationship during the course of their marriage without first discussing the terms of their agreement.
To avoid this type of situation, Dr. Nelson stressed: ‘Using ongoing communication and dialogue is key to avoiding hurt feelings and misunderstanding and ensuring open monogamy strengthens rather than damages a relationship.’
She continued: ‘Conscious, intentional monogamy agreements that are flexible and can change over time should include the option of taking a break or even going back to traditional monogamy if necessary.’
Dr. Nelson also advised that couples should consider ‘finding a therapist who understands and can help without judging your decisions.’
Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer for Ashley Madison, also spoke to DailyMail.com and explained why he thinks the discreet dictionary terms are vital for married daters.
‘Modern dating terminology has become more and more relevant in our mainstream culture,’ he said.
‘We see new phrases emerge on a regular basis in the more traditional singles dating community, so we thought it was only right to create our own set of terms for those navigating the less traditional non-monogamous dating world, while having a little fun along the way.’

Without mutual consent, couples risk falling into ‘monoga-messy’ situations where secrecy, jealousy, or mismatched expectations can lead to hurt and disconnection (stock image)


Ashley Madison’s chief strategy officer Paul Keable (left) and Dr. Tammy Nelson (right) have shared their thoughts on the latest open monogamy trends
Revealing how the list came to be, Keable continued: ‘As the world’s leading married-dating app, we have unique access to the minds of married-daters around the world.
‘We’ve produced the discreet dictionary for several years now to provide a fun and informative view into how our members’ activities come to life.
‘It’s a great way to understand the current trends and behaviors our members, along with others practicing non-monogamy, can relate to.
‘These terms also inform those who may be considering exploring non-monogamy or who are just curious,’ he added.