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Selma Blair has opened up about a lifetime of alcohol abuse, revealing that she got drunk for the first time when she was just seven years old — and became an ‘expert alcoholic’ even as a child.
The 49-year-old actress has detailed her struggles in her upcoming memoir, Mean Baby, sharing how she would sip alcohol to quell her anxiety through her school years.
In an excerpt of the memoir obtained by People, Blair described how her drinking got worse in college — and on more than one occasion, she was too drunk to fight off men who raped her.
‘I have been raped, multiple times, because I was too drunk to say the words “Please. Stop,”‘ she said.
Selma Blair has opened up about a lifetime of alcohol abuse, revealing that she got drunk for the first time when she was just seven years old
The 49-year-old actress has detailed her struggles in her upcoming memoir, Mean Baby, and excerpt from which appears in People this week
Mean Baby will be released on May 17
In her memoir, Blair described the first time she got drunk as a ‘revelation,’ and how the effects of alcohol initially felt like the ‘warmth of God’ filling her up.
It was Passover, a Jewish holiday in which drinking wine is a big part of the ceremonial dinner, called a Seder.
She had been allowed small sips of Manischewitz wine at her family’s Seders for years, but she got carried away the year she was seven.
Because ‘no one was paying attention to my consumption level,’ she drank enough Manischewitz to get more than a buzz.
‘I got drunk that night. Very drunk. Eventually, I was put in my sister Katie’s bed with her. In the morning, I didn’t remember how I’d gotten there,’ she recalled.
After that, she usually wouldn’t drink to get drunk, but would have ‘quick sips whenever my anxiety would alight,’ making her barely tipsy.
Blair described the first time she got drunk as a ‘revelation,’ and how the effects of alcohol initially felt like the ‘warmth of God’ filling her up
‘I became an expert alcoholic, adept at hiding my secret,’ she said
‘I became an expert alcoholic, adept at hiding my secret,’ she wrote.
‘It was hard. I don’t know. But maybe it was easier. Maybe I never would have survived without a drink,’ she told Savannah Guthrie on the Today show this morning.
Blair continued to drink throughout elementary school, middle school, and high school.
‘I don’t know if I would’ve survived childhood without alcoholism,’ she told People. ‘That’s why it’s such a problem for a lot of people. It really is a huge comfort, a huge relief in the beginning.
‘Maybe even the first few years for me because I did start really young with that as a comfort, as my coping mechanism,’ she said.
In college, her alcohol abuse worsened — and left her vulnerable to predators.
The first time the actress (pictured as a child) got drunk was on the Jewish holiday of Passover. Her parents weren’t paying attention to how much Manischewitz wine she drank
After that, Blair (seen bottom left as a child) usually wouldn’t drink to get drunk, but would have ‘ quick sips whenever my anxiety would alight,’ making her barely tipsy
‘Maybe even the first few years for me because I did start really young with that as a comfort, as my coping mechanism,’ Blair (seen left as a child) said
During one spring break trip, after a day of binge-drinking, she said that she was raped by at least one man.
‘I don’t know if both of them raped me. One of them definitely did,’ she wrote.
‘I made myself small and quiet and waited for it to be over. I wish I could say what happened to me that night was an anomaly, but it wasn’t,’ she said, revealing that there were several time she was too drunk to fend off rapists.
‘Only that one time was violent. I came out of each event quiet and ashamed,’ she wrote.
Blair continued to drink into early adulthood — and then, it was in part to cope with her trauma.
‘These were the things I drank to forget. I didn’t drink for attention: I drank to disappear,’ she said.
‘You bury it. You really do. It’s a big thing to have these things happen,’ she said on Today. ‘And to hold that shame in yourself.’
In college, her alcohol abuse worsened, and on one spring break trip, at least one man raped her. She is pictured during her teenage years
‘I have been raped, multiple times, because I was too drunk to say the words “Please. Stop,”‘ the Cruel Intentions star (seen in her youth) said
‘The desire to drink as much as I could, as often as I could, stayed with me and did not let go for more than 20 years,’ Blair, pictured in Cruel Intentions, said
‘The desire to drink as much as I could, as often as I could, stayed with me and did not let go for more than 20 years.’
On two occasions, she said, she tried to take her own life.
Things finally changed for her after a high-profile incident in 2016, when she became intoxicated and passed out on a plane in front of her four-year-old son.
Blair was flying to Los Angeles from Cancun, Mexico, when, according to TMZ, she started crying and complaining about a man abusing her.
The pilot called ahead to LAX to report that a passenger was mixing medication with alcohol, and Blair was reportedly carried from the plane on a stretcher.
‘The thing that made me really stop drinking was that I could have died on that plane,’ she said on the Today show this morning. ‘I mean, now that I was a mother, it just changed everything.’
Blair has been sober since 2016, and she has worked on her trauma with a therapist.
Things finally changed for her after a high-profile incident in 2016, when she became intoxicated and passed out on a plane in front of her four-year-old son
‘The thing that made me really stop drinking was that I could have died on that plane,’ she said on the Today show this morning. ‘I mean, now that I was a mother, it just changed everything’
The actress, who has also spoken candidly about having multiple sclerosis, said she also found it helpful to write about it in her memoir.
The new memoir also delves into her battle with MS, and she said on Today this morning that she realizes now there were ‘so many things that were indicative of MS’ earlier in her life.
‘I do know for sure I had it by the age of 23. It was definitely there for so long,’ she said.
Blair teased a few details when she announced her memoir on Instagram in December.
‘Bit by scrap by journal pages and letters, I wrote my first book: Mean Baby,’ she wrote.
‘My mother always laughed when retelling the story of how the older neighborhood kids ran from our long ranch house at the end of the cul de sac. “Don’t go in there!!!” Was the shocked cry. “The Beitner’s have a mean baby.” I was proud I could send older kids scrambling never to visit again.
‘I lived up to my name. And then I grew up, grieved a life I felt a stranger in, and then I started to change. I had a child of my own. I floundered and had small but major successes. And I kept writing. Until my hands wouldn’t cooperate. And I was diagnosed with MS. Finally,’ she said.
The actress, who has also spoken candidly about having multiple sclerosis, said she also found it helpful to write about it in her memoir
The new memoir also delves into her battle with MS, and she said she realizes now there were ‘so many things that were indicative of MS’ earlier in her life
‘After the stem cell transplant I wanted to remember what I turned away from thinking about. My beloved mother died, and with fresh marrow recolonizing my cells, I have been given a new life.
‘This is the maiden voyage for me. But it was through the support of my loves on here (Instagram) who have encouraged me to keep moving even in suspended grief, along with great recovery.
‘So this is what I wrote. On scraps of paper. On my phone. Sent to my dear agent who held space while I wrote despite the fog in my brain. This is personal. It’s my story and intended with love. Mostly.
‘Mean Baby might have turned her gaze on a couple unsatisfactory outcomes. But truly.
‘Without you I would have not been able to appreciate how even the meanest baby grows up. Thank you for being on this journey with me. It has been the most remarkable time. A survival course in acceptance. I recommend we all write our recollections. Especially at a time when seeing the words, even, is difficult.’
