Alaska Man Monday - Inappropriate Protests, a Dumb Crook, and Bad Arguments


Snow showers are in the forecast for this week, arriving a bit later than usual. Typically, we would already see snow covering the ground by now. Although there was a brief flurry on Saturday night that left about an inch, the ground remains too warm for it to stick around. It makes me wonder if the rest of winter will attempt to make up for this delayed start.

Meanwhile, down south in a land where winter barely makes an appearance, Texas has launched its own version of Fat Bear Week, aptly named Fat Squirrel Week.

Everything’s bigger in Texas, as the saying goes, and now that includes squirrels.

Here, we have our own local squirrels. In Texas, the spotlight is on the southern Fox Squirrel (Sciurus niger), known for its size, whereas our region is home to the much smaller American Red Squirrel (Tamiasciurus hudsonicus). I honed my hunting skills going toe-to-toe with Iowa’s large fox squirrels and the smaller gray squirrels. However, up here, the red squirrels are too petite to hunt, and frankly, we enjoy their presence.

I’m curious to see if my friend and colleague at PJMedia, Stephen Green, will introduce a Fat Gator Week in his Florida Man Friday series.

Alaska Man score: Sorry, Texas, but there are no moose in your state.

For the competition’s inaugural year, Brannon told Alaska’s News Source that the 16 selected squirrels were picked from a variety of Texas state parks.

“Unsimilarly, obviously, we don’t have all the same squirrels in the same park, so we had each park kind of post and prompt their public to nominate a squirrel they’ve seen in the last year,” she said.

“Hopefully next year, we’ll have squirrels and more of a heads-up for people and our staff to be on the lookout for fat squirrels in the park.”

Unlike Fat Bear Week, squirrels will be voted for based on cuteness and “heftiness,” rather than the pounds packed on before winter.

We have some local squirrels, of course. But the Texas squirrels are the big southern Fox Squirrel (Sciurus niger), while ours are the American Red Squirrel (Tamiasciurus hudsonicus), which are much smaller. I learned to hunt by matching my wits against big Iowa fox squirrels and the smaller gray squirrels, but our reds up here are too small to bother with; besides, we kind of like having them around.

Now I’m waiting to see if my good friend and PJMedia colleague Stephen Green will find a Fat Gator Week for his Florida Man Friday posts.

Alaska Man score: There are no moose in Texas. Sorry, Texas.


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