In this second episode of a special miniseries from the Mail’s Queens, Kings and Dastardly Things podcast, historian Kate Williams and royal biographer Robert Hardman set out to crown British history’s worst ever royal blind date.

From seasickness making one Queen so thin her wedding dress nearly fell off, to a famously mad King crying out for his mother after one look at his new bride, the hosts elevated one dating horror story above all others.

The marriage of the superstitious James VI to a teenage Anne of Denmark didn’t just prove unsatisfying and panic-inducing for the monarchy – it was deeply damaging to the realm.

The podcast explores their troubled union and how a stormy wedding voyage sparked a paranoid obsession in James with the supernatural.

The marriage of the superstitious James VI to a teenage Anne of Denmark didn’t just prove unsatisfying and panic-inducing for the monarchy – it was deeply damaging to the realm

James VI’s turbulent marriage to Anne of Denmark

James VI was the son of Mary Queen of Scots and became King of Scotland as an infant.

He later succeeded to the English throne after the death of Queen Elizabeth I in 1603, uniting the two kingdoms under one crown.

James was 22 when his courtiers presented him with a suitable candidate to be his queen, a 14-year-old Danish princess called Anne.

As it was important for the marriage to be formalised quickly, James’s court arranged what was known as a proxy consummation.

‘The proxy consummator has to be worst job in royal history’, historian Kate Williams told the podcast.

‘They had to lay in bed with Anne, fully clothed, while everyone in the court watched on.’

Now technically married, the teenager set sail for Scotland for a formal wedding celebration.

With her was a fleet of 16 ships carrying lavish furniture and horses attached to solid silver carriages.

However, weeks pass by, and James’s new Queen is nowhere to be seen.

As Kate Willaims explained: ‘Only six of the ships arrive in Scotland. Anne was forced back to the coast of Norway, to Oslo.

‘James hears a rumour that Anne’s ships are in trouble. He begins to panic that she’s drowned.

‘The King orders everyone in Scotland to fast and pray for her safekeeping – and he sends out a search party.

James succeeded to the English throne after the death of Queen Elizabeth I in 1603, uniting the two kingdoms under one crown

James initiated a series of witch trials – the first of their kind in Scotland. Listen here

Shakespeare would base the witches in Macbeth off the King’s book, to honour the monarchy at the play’s inaugural performance

‘He begins to become obsessed by bad omens and thinks everyone in the realm should take them more seriously.

‘He became totally preoccupied with Anne, setting out on his own rescue mission accompanied by 300 other people, including a priest.’

Despite his council warning against it, James was successful in his voyage to rescue Anne.

Upon seeing her for the first time, to Anne’s shock, the King publicly gave her ‘a full kiss on the mouth’.

Although his bride was safe, James blamed the choppy waters on a cabal of witches in Edinburgh.

He was likely influenced by the Danish, who had just started their own witch trials and believed the storms that disrupted the wedding were caused by supernatural forces.

Returning to his kingdom, he initiates a series of witch trials – the first of their kind in Scotland.

‘These women are usually poor, usually elderly and they’re usually widows’, Williams said.

‘The King personally interviews one of these women, Agnes Sampson, at Holyrood Palace. She’s tortured into a confession and then burned alive.’

Between 1590 and 1707, nearly 3000 people were killed in increasingly cruel ways as a result of the trials started by James.

Ten years after his marriage, the King would pen a book about demonology – remembered one of the first ever collections of horror stories.

Shakespeare would base the witches in Macbeth off the King’s book, to honour the monarchy at the play’s inaugural performance.

To hear more stories like this one, search for Queens, Kings and Dastardly Things now, wherever you get your podcasts.