Callum Wilson has revealed he contemplated taking his own life at the age of 12 – and recently sought therapy to try and overcome his childhood demons.

The England and Newcastle striker grew up in a council house in Coventry as the eldest of six children, but also spent time in foster care and safe houses after his mother experienced domestic abuse.

‘I used to cry myself to sleep at night,’ admitted Wilson, who had a different father to his siblings. ‘I got to about 12, 13 – it was like suicidal moments.

‘I was so young. I was just thinking this can’t be all that life has to offer. It was my mum on her own, all my siblings in the house. We had a three-bedroom council house. Food was sparing to come by.

‘There were things like foster care, safe houses, receiving food from food banks and the local church, lots of different scenarios happened such as domestic violence at home.

Callum Wilson revealed on the High Performance Podcast that he had ‘suicidal moments’ during his younger years

Wilson has admitted that football was his ‘saviour’ after struggling with mental health issues

‘I look back now and think, “That is something I never want my child to experience”. Football really was my saviour. It was my escape.’

Wilson began his career at Coventry before playing in the Premier League for Bournemouth and then moving to Newcastle in 2020. The 33-year-old, who is out of contract at St James’ Park next month, has won nine England caps and was part of the squad at the 2022 World Cup in Qatar.

Wilson decided to see a therapist a year ago after an argument with a Newcastle physio, who noticed a change in his mood. He admitted it felt ‘like a weight was lifted’ after his first therapy session.

‘When football is going great, when life is going great, you can block it out,’ the father of two told the High Performance Podcast.

‘But I’ve had a period over the past 18 months where I’ve had setback after setback, things just got on top and basically it was too much to suppress. It all rose to a head and I was like, “I need to seek therapy now”.

‘I was at a point where I was starting to go back down the wrong path, little things were creeping in like gambling, and I didn’t want to become that person so I needed professional help.

‘It took a bit of bravery to realise that as strong as I feel my mind is at times, you also can speak. Even just speaking to the therapist was a great help.

Wilson admitted that he struggled with gambling issues before seeking therapy

An Instagram post shared by Wilson back in 2020 which read: ‘The only competition you have is yourself’

‘Once I started speaking, and revealed everything I’ve been through in life, she was like, “Wow, how have you got to this point already without not seeing a therapist?”.

‘I speak to my wife about it, but I didn’t want to blur the lines with our relationship. She’s not my therapist, she’s my wife and the mother of my children, so I didn’t want to burden her with problems.

‘You can speak to a therapist and it does feel a sense of relief afterwards. It’s an investment in yourself and more than worth it.

‘I’m probably learning a lot about myself now – little traits that I have that were obviously triggered by things as a kid.’

Wilson came off the bench in Newcastle’s 1-0 defeat to Everton in their final match of the season on Sunday. He left the pitch in tears and appeared to wave the crowd farewell during a solo lap of honour.

Wilson started just two Premier League matches all season as Newcastle finished fifth to qualify for the Champions League, having been forced to play second fiddle to Alexander Isak.

He was a second-half substitute when the Magpies beat Liverpool at Wembley to win the Carabao Cup in March, but his only goal of the campaign came in the FA Cup at Birmingham in February.

Newcastle have decided against taking up the option to extend Wilson’s contract, but talks have taken place about an incentive-based deal.

‘Financially, thankfully, I’m stable, so that’s not an issue that I need to go back to where I’ve come from,’ added Wilson, who has attracted interest from newly-promoted Leeds.

‘I know I’m still able to provide for my family and put food on the table for them. I know my worth and my value and I’m still so hungry inside that.

‘Even though I know Alex is scoring goals, I’m still frustrated when the team sheet comes up that I’m not starting.

‘I know that I’m not ready to leave football yet and I would love to leave football before football leaves me.

Wilson was in tears as he appeared to bid farewell to Newcastle’s fans after Sunday’s match

Newcastle boss Eddie Howe has said talks will take place shortly over whether Wilson stays at the club beyond this summer

‘I’ve been fit now for four-and-a-half months but when you probably played like 250 minutes, 300 minutes, that side of things is frustrating because you don’t want the last few years of your career to just fizzle away from you, especially when you’ve worked so hard to get to that point.

‘But I’m just enjoying life, enjoying football, just playing with a smile on my face and what’s meant to be will be.’

Speaking about Wilson after Sunday’s match, Newcastle boss Eddie Howe said: ‘We’re going to sit down and talk with his representatives.

‘What I can say is Callum Wilson is and has been just an incredible footballer for Newcastle. Someone who epitomises the spirit that’s got us to where we are really professional. Brave.

‘He brings a positivity to the group. He’s a leader within the change room. He’s just been incredible and let’s wait and see what happens.’

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