The recent rift between Olympic swimmer Adam Peaty and his fiancée Holly Ramsay has left fans in disbelief, as the couple has reportedly excluded Adam’s mother from their upcoming wedding.

The family drama allegedly began when Holly, 25, did not invite her future mother-in-law to her bachelorette party at the exclusive Soho Farmhouse. Caroline Peaty, Adam’s mother, shared her side of the story with the media, revealing her disappointment.

While Holly celebrated with her friends, Caroline, 59, remained in Uttoxeter, Staffordshire, caring for her five-year-old grandson George, whom Adam, 30, shares with his former partner Eirianedd Munro.

Following these revelations, a public relations battle has erupted, with Holly’s father, celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, deploying his PR team to manage the situation.

Meanwhile, the Peaty family has taken to social media to express their frustration, claiming they have been marginalized in the wedding plans due to their perceived lack of social status compared to the Ramsays.

However, sources close to the Ramsay family suggest that more complex issues within the Peaty family may be contributing to the ongoing dispute.

Earlier this week, Adam’s brother was also arrested over allegations he sent threats to him. 

In Britain, research by the charity Stand Alone suggests around one in five families may be affected by estrangement — when family member’s cutoff communication. 

In the US, a 2022 study by researchers at Ohio State University found six per cent of respondents were estranged from a mother and a shocking 26 per cent from a father.

While the experience is still often cloaked in secrecy or shame, it’s no longer as taboo as it was.

Prince Harry’s exodus from the Royal Family and his wife Meghan’s estrangement from her father have been played out under glaring spotlights.

And earlier this autumn, Amazon Prime’s highly acclaimed six-part thriller The Girlfriend, saw one wealthy mother’s picture-perfect life unravel after her son Daniel introduces his new girlfriend Cherry to the family, who hails from a working class background. 

But according to some of the UK’s leading psychologists, speaking to the Daily Mail, the phenomenon is multilayered. 

There are, however, steps parents can take in such a situation. 

‘Family estrangement is one of the most heartbreaking estrangements and can be deeply painful and often complex,’ Cornwall-based psychotherapist Bhavna Raithatha, accredited by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, says. 

‘When an adult child appears to choose a partner or “new family” over their own, it can leave parents reeling, feeling angry, disappointed rejected and powerless.

‘But there are ways to cope and respond with compassion and steadiness.’

Since news of the row between Peaty and his family — apparently long-simmering — fans have been quick to lay the blame with the soon-to-be-wed couple. 

For without his parent’s sacrifices, Adam would perhaps never have become an Olympic champion and been offered a spot on Strictly Come Dancing — where he met Holly backstage in 2022. 

As Adam himself put it in 2021: ‘Parents are the unsung heroes of our sport.’

But Ms Raithatha adds: ‘It’s important to remember that we don’t have the whole picture at all. 

‘We don’t have the back story about Adam’s relationship with his family or their involvement in his life and successes — he didn’t achieve those alone.’ 

Accept that estrangement is rarely simple

Distance often builds over time through unresolved tensions — not just the influence of a new partner. 

‘Understanding this complexity helps reduce blame and defensiveness,’ Ms Raithatha says. 

Equally, people don’t always realise how their actions affect us day by day. 

London-based counsellor and member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Georgina Sturmer, adds: ‘It can be hard to make sense of estrangement, especially if we are entrenched in our usual patterns and behaviours. 

‘Consider whether you can step back and figure out what might have happened in the relationship. 

‘This reflection might help you to understand things better — and also to figure out whether a reconciliation might be possible.’

Be aware of controlling dynamics

In some, not all, cases of estrangement, a partner with narcissistic or controlling traits may isolate and drive a wedge between parents and their adult child. 

But it is important to ‘avoid direct confrontation,’ Ms Raithatha says. 

Instead, parents should simply remain calm and consistent and resist the urge to argue or fight back. This way, their child sees you as ‘safe and steady’, she adds. 

‘Understandably, this can feel incredibly difficult and painful to navigate. So, do ensure you have support from friends and other family as you navigate this.’

Don’t compete for loyalty

Attempts to ‘win’ your child back can create more division. 

Remain calm, offering care and support ‘without pressure and respect their autonomy’, Ms Raithatha says — this maintains your dignity and boundaries. 

Ms Sturmer agrees. ‘Avoid apportioning blame on the new partner,’ she adds. 

‘It may be tempting to lay all the blame at their feet. But in most relationships, there are push factors and pull factors. 

‘So while the new partner may have been a “pull” factor, there may also have been “push” factors that led to the situation, too.’

Reflect before reaching out

According to Birmingham-based counsellor and member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Jodie McCormack, it’s vital to confide in loved ones or someone supportive to process your feelings. 

‘If this isn’t an option available to you, I often encourage people to write it all out in a letter so you’re not holding onto it anymore and can get some release,’ she says. 

‘You won’t be sharing the letter with anyone, it’s just for your eyes.’

This, she says, will help you reach out with a clearer, calmer mindset. 

For Ms Raithatha it’s important to ask yourself a key question before reaching out to your child — am I coming from love, fear, or pride? 

‘Communication shaped by empathy and curiosity invites dialogue more than guilt or persuasion ever could,’ she adds.

‘And after all, Adam seems to rely on Biblical quotes. 

‘So it might help to remember the wisdom in Proverbs 15:1: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”.’

Prioritise your own wellbeing

Estrangement can feel like crushing grief and betrayal especially when parents feel they have invested their all into their children. 

It’s important, therefore, to be gentle with yourself and focus on healing rather than waiting, experts say.  

‘It is hurtful to feel as though you’re not included, especially as parents who have had a close relationship with their child,’ Ms McCormack says. 

‘Letting go can be hard and frightening.’

For this reason, it’s also vital to acknowledge your feelings properly and allow yourself time to grieve.  

‘It might be tempting to shut down and suppress these feelings, but it can be easier in the long run if we are honest about the impact that it is having on us,’ Ms Sturmer adds.

‘Family estrangement can be a deep type of loss. And yet it might feel like an invisible type of loss to some, as it hasn’t involved a bereavement. 

‘But it’s a loss in so many ways, a loss of companionship, an empty seat at family events and traditions, a loss of an imagined future. 

‘Even if you have hope of reconciliation, allowing yourself to grieve what’s happening right now can be a helpful step.’

Leave the door open — but don’t wait by it 

There’s no hard evidence on whether estrangement is becoming more common, as opposed to being just more commonly talked about, either in the US or the UK. 

But psychotherapist’s hunch is that it’s on the rise.

According to the British Association of Counselling and Psychiatry, almost half of therapists (43 per cent) have seen an increase in family issues over the past year.

More than a third of therapists (37 per cent) who work with men also say they have noticed a rise in clients presenting with family issues over the past year.

The Ohio State University study found the vast majority of estranged adult children eventually resume contact with their families. 

But it may not always be a fairytale happy ending.

‘Make it clear your love remains, without demands,’ Ms Raithatha says.

‘Then get on with your life and live fully. Acceptance brings peace, even when reconciliation takes time.’

Acknowledge that not all relationships are amicable 

Estrangement, though seemingly on the rise, is a cataclysmic event in a family that can pit sibling against sibling, cut grandchildren off from grandparents, and reverberate down generations. 

But despite taking all suggested steps, sometimes relationships can’t be healed. 

‘This can be difficult and painful to navigate and come to terms with,’ Ms Raithatha says. 

And even if reconciliation does occur, in some cases ‘historical hurt can again be activated during important events such as a wedding or the birth of a child’, she adds.

‘It’s really important in these situations to seek professional help to process these feelings.’ 

For parents in this situation, consider how you can regain a sense of control,’ Ms Sturmer says. 

‘This lack of control when relationships change can feel destabilising, especially for a parent. 

‘Focus on the elements of your life that you can control, so that you feel a sense of stability.’