Amanda Nguyen, the first woman of Vietnamese descent to embark on a space mission, has candidly spoken about the wave of misogyny she faced following her historic journey, which led to a bout of depression.
In April, Nguyen, 34, joined Blue Origin’s inaugural all-female spaceflight alongside notable figures such as singer Katy Perry, broadcaster Gayle King, Lauren Sanchez—the spouse of Jeff Bezos—NASA rocket scientist Aisha Bowe, and film producer Kerianne Flynn.
The crew experienced a brief yet significant 11-minute venture, reaching an altitude of 66.5 miles, thereby crossing the Karman Line and entering the realm of outer space.
However, the mission soon attracted criticism due to its hefty price, potential negative impact on the environment, and the peculiar behavior exhibited by the six-member team upon their return to Earth.
Speculation even arose online, with some alleging the entire mission was staged in a studio, accusing the participants of “floating” in water tanks and criticizing the supposed low-quality CGI as the worst produced by these so-called fake space agencies.
In the wake of the backlash, Nguyen revealed that she sank into a profound depression, confiding in Gayle King that she feared this emotional struggle might persist for an extended period.
She wrote in a lengthy statement posted to Instagram on Sunday that everything she had worked for as a scientist who researched women’s health and conducted experiments in space, training for years to travel beyond Earth’s atmosphere ‘were buried under an avalanche of misogyny.’
The ‘volume of coverage’ over the flight was ‘unprecedented,’ Nguyen continued, so that even a ‘small fraction of negativity becomes staggering.’
Amanda Nguyen, 34, has opened up about the depression she felt amid the backlash to her April space flight
Nguyen (second from left) was onboard Blue Origin’s first all-female space flight in April, along with singer Katy Perry, Gayle King, and Jeff Bezos’ wife Lauren Sanchez, as well as NASA rocket scientist Aisha Bowe and film producer Kerianne Flynn
‘It amounted to billions of hostile impressions – an onslaught no human brain has evolved to endure,’ Nguyen said.
‘I felt like collateral damage, my moment of justice mutilated.’
She was unable to leave Texas for a week after the flight, as she struggled to get out of bed.
Even one month later, Nguyen said, she struggled to ‘speak through my tears.’
‘Publicly, it was important to me to remain strong, especially for the sponsors of my seat who made my research and dream come true,’ the astronaut said, acknowledging that ‘there has been overwhelming good that has come out of this.’
‘The flight opened doors to speak to world leaders and advance my fight for rape survivors rights in an unprecedented way,’ she continued.
The lotus seeds she flew with to mark the 30th anniversary of reconciliation between the US and Vietnam were also exchanged as ‘a symbol of peace.’
‘My goal of science as a tool for diplomacy was achieved,’ Nguyen said.
The experience made her the first female Vietnamese astronaut
The flight soon received backlash for its jaw-dropping price tag, for its questionable environmental impact, and for the bizarre and dramatic antics of its six-person crew after they touched down on Earth’s soil
She then spoke about the historic significance of her flight.
‘When Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon, bombs rained down on Vietnam,’ Nguyen noted. ‘This year, when my boat refugee family looked at the sky, instead of bombs, they saw the first Vietnamese woman in space.
‘We came on boats, and now we’re on spaceships,’ she said.
Reflecting on the flight, Nguyen said she is ‘glad that the fog of grief has started to lift’ after eight months.
‘Vietnam saved me. My friends who continually checked in on me saved me. The love of my community saved me,’ she revealed.
Nguyen then shared her appreciation for ‘every friend that has held my heart in your love, every person who has shared with me what the power of representation means, every survivor that has shared with me a renewed sense of knowing that their dreams still can come true despite violence [and] every human who took the time to share my story above the noise.’
‘In the moments of deep grief this year, I reached back out to a familiar face, to her – my survivor self – who found the strength to fight. How horrible that I needed to deploy that skill once again.’
But from the experience, Nguyen said she learned that ‘we never fully leave behind our past selves.’
Nguyen said she is thankful for the support she has received as she revealed that the fog of depression is now starting to lift
She said she is now proud to have ‘kept my promise’ and focused on ‘kindness’ even through the ‘tsunami of harassment.’
‘It is the greatest gift this holiday season that I can feel the fog lifting,’ Nguyen said.
‘I can tell Gayle it’s not going to take years.’
