Kalvin Phillips is known for his tendency to overthink. Even as he was finalizing his monumental move to Manchester City, a transition that promised to transform his career and life, his thoughts lingered on the potential consequences for Leeds United.

Phillips was concerned about abandoning Leeds at a crucial time. He worried that if the team faced relegation in the subsequent season, his departure might be seen as the catalyst. He feared disappointing the fans who had supported him. These concerns were shared with his mother, Lindsay, even before he had signed a lucrative six-year contract worth over £150,000 a week.

This introspection reveals much about Phillips as a person. It highlights the mental journey he has been on since his £42 million transfer to City in 2022.

There was an ongoing internal dialogue, a persistent reminder of a transfer that had not gone as hoped, becoming glaringly evident within months. The public scrutiny, which can erode anyone’s self-worth, loomed large. Training without the prospect of playing was a draining ordeal, leading to a significant erosion of his self-belief, confidence, and self-esteem. Eventually, even his passion for the game began to wane.

This introspective turmoil led Phillips to reach out to Patrick Bamford on a Monday morning to inquire about Sheffield United under Chris Wilder. With encouraging feedback, Phillips quickly decided to make the move across the Pennines, securing a six-month loan by the end of the day. Not long ago, in 2021, he had been voted England’s Player of the Year following a stellar performance in the European Championship final at Wembley, even catching the attention of Andrea Pirlo. His new journey began with a match against Oxford United on Tuesday.

Kalvin Phillips has played seven minutes of football this season, at Huddersfield Town in the Carabao Cup (above), which involved missing training the day before because partner Ashleigh was giving birth in London

Phillips joined Manchester City from Leeds United for £42million in 2022 – but it has not been a happy time at the Etihad for the midfielder

During his brief introductory interview with Sheffield United, Phillips emphasized three times the importance of being “close to home.” He expressed a simple desire: “I just want to play football and enjoy myself being close to home, so Sheffield United was the perfect fit.”

He had to go somewhere. City are subsidising the vast majority of his wages and half-a-season in the Championship should put him in the shop window. Injuries put paid to a summer move, Phillips having Achilles surgery at the end of last season and wasn’t back passably fit until too late into the transfer window.

He’s been plagued by niggling problems ever since, suffering a calf injury and then a setback towards the end of the year. Irrespective, Pep Guardiola would never have picked him for a league squad. 

Jaden Heskey, now on loan at Sheffield Wednesday, was brought on before him at Huddersfield and Phillips was an unused substitute at Swansea City in the next round of the Carabao Cup.

City have still used him for commercial events over the year and make clear that the 30-year-old has not been airbrushed. He has been training with Guardiola’s squad when deemed fit enough.

Often he would be on a different schedule to his team-mates as he battled to get fully fit, changing in the first-team dressing room before heading out to do individual work. Asked if he was ready to feature immediately by Sheffield United’s in-house media team, Phillips quickly shot back: ‘Yep.’

And then he remembered to smile. Phillips always smiles.

Phillips knew the size of challenge that lay in wait before he arrived on City’s pre-season tour of the United States in 2022. He was aware that game time would be limited given the importance of Rodri – who would go on to score the goal that sealed an historic Treble 11 months later – and was happy to play the supplementary role. 

Phillips always smiles but his time at City has largely been on the substitutes’ bench 

Phillips knew the size of challenge that lay in wait before he arrived on City’s pre-season tour of the United States in 2022

He had been an England regular before his move to Manchester City

But his eyes widened during sessions in Houston. Under Marcelo Bielsa at Leeds, players spent July running. Phillips had become accustomed to that and when the balls were being zipped around the ‘boxes’ at lightning speed on day one, his eyes widened slightly – especially as players gently ribbed him.

The reality of the step up hit and Phillips – it is fair to say – suffered with imposter syndrome and it is interesting that he always gravitated towards the younger players in the squad. ‘I know there will be times I’m pulling my hair out because it is so difficult,’ he said on that tour. Never a truer word.

Weight-gate occurred just six months later and in hindsight, effectively ended his career under Guardiola. Bielsa had told City’s boss that it was key to keep an eye on the midfielder’s fitness – the player himself admits he enjoys his days off and is a foodie – and so Guardiola clearly had that in mind when Phillips turned up two kilogrammes over his target weight from the World Cup in 2022.

Guardiola flipped his lid. Phillips was banned from training for a couple of days and was actually back among the group by the time the manager had told the world of what had happened. The family were angry at this being made public, while Phillips himself took it on the chin. ‘Going in and arguing is just not Kalvin,’ says a source. ‘He gets his head down and grafts. He’s very respectful.’

The backdrop to this was injuries. Phillips had dislocated his shoulder in an August friendly against Barcelona and popped it back in, as medical staff had previously done with it at Leeds. There was a flare up within weeks and City made him have an operation. He’d just not been involved since joining and the months after were carefully spent working alongside FA doctors to make sure he was fit for the winter World Cup, in which he barely featured.

Phillps then went on holiday to New York and this is where there are still conflicting stories to this day. One school of thought is that he misunderstood the return date – Guardiola wanting him available for a League Cup tie with Liverpool before Christmas – and another is that Phillips disembarked the flight home and went straight to training, amid a lack of circulation and aircraft food not having digested properly.     

Neither version particularly help Phillips, although Guardiola would apologise for airing what he had in a public forum when the player was loaned to West Ham a year later. With high-profile mistakes within days of signing for David Moyes and uncharacteristically swearing at baying supporters when boarding a coach after defeat by Newcastle United, Phillips was in a spin.

Ipswich Town was the next loan stop, Phillips initially finding his feet and beginning to influence games as he had at Leeds. Yet after a sending off against Leicester in early November, Phillips made just eight more league starts for Kieran McKenna, with injuries again a factor. A gash on his foot in February left him requiring stitches and unable to walk. McKenna admitted he never regained any sharpness.

Phillips initially found his his feet at Ipswich Town. Yet after a sending off against Leicester in early November, he made just eight more league starts for boss Kieran McKenna

West Ham was the chance to re-establish himself as an England regular, Gareth Southgate advising against going abroad to Juventus. And it vanished in a sea of negativity

‘He arrived having not played much football for the couple of seasons before,’ McKenna said last May. ‘If he had, he probably wouldn’t have been at Ipswich this season.’

McKenna, much like Wilder now, was taking in a wounded bird. Really, Ipswich didn’t have the resources for that as they fought against relegation.

West Ham was the real kicker, the chance to re-establish himself as an England regular, Gareth Southgate advising against going abroad to Juventus. And it vanished in a sea of negativity, Phillips clearly not capable of performing at the highest level after such a long spell without playing. Expectation of what he might achieve was wildly out of kilter.

It felt as if he was in this state of confusion, wondering exactly how and why it had gone so awry at City. Phillips has privately admitted that he struggled to understand Guardiola’s tactical instructions in his opening weeks. He broke down in tears, phoning Bielsa, after one sub-par substitute appearance against Leicester City and had looked bereft during post-match television interviews that day. ‘I was rubbish,’ he reflected.

This fear about criticism and perception ate away. He even blamed himself for the injuries – wondering if he was drinking enough water. Phillips is not without fault for how his career has transpired but it is hard not to feel for somebody so well-liked to appear a shadow of their former self.