Crypto geeks face wipeout as bitcoin king breaks his own golden rule

Michael Saylor, famously known as the ‘bitcoin king,’ is quite fond of the laser-eye meme that has become synonymous with his persona in the cryptocurrency world.

Saylor has previously quipped, “If you don’t understand laser eyes, you don’t understand bitcoin.” This statement reflects his embrace of the crypto culture, where memes depict him as a near-mythical figure with lasers emanating from his eyes.

However, last week marked a sobering moment as Saylor faced the harsh reality of the cryptocurrency market’s downturn. This ongoing decline has forced him to acknowledge that he might be compelled to sell some of his bitcoin holdings.

Saylor leads MicroStrategy, which he proudly refers to as ‘the world’s first bitcoin treasury company.’

Investing in MicroStrategy is akin to placing a significant wager on bitcoin’s continued ascent. The company operates by issuing large quantities of shares and accumulating substantial debt to support vast bitcoin acquisitions and pay substantial cash dividends to its creditors.

This strategy relies heavily on the hope that cryptocurrency values will keep climbing. The leverage involved necessitates ongoing gains in the crypto sector to sustain the dividends that keep the enterprise afloat.

Last week, Strategy reported a huge loss in the first quarter – and on the earnings conference call, Saylor was telling investors he might have to sell.

At the same time, the crypto bros attending an industry conference in Miami were doing shots at an official afterparty in a strip club.

Crypto bros love to share memes that depict Michael Saylor as a demi-god with lasers or lightening  shooting out of his eyes

When crypto crashes, Saylor runs into problems funding the dividends, the very tool that keeps Strategy alive by tempting more shareholders to get on board. 

Bitcoin peaked last fall around $126,000 and had lost about half its value by the week the war in Iran got going, wiping out billions in value and pummeling Strategy’s shares.

The original crypto is off its worst levels now, but the big slide took its toll on Strategy, which last week reported a staggering net loss of $12 billion in the first quarter – and that comes after its share value plunged by 75 percent over the prior year and a half.

Back in February – when bitcoin and Strategy’s stock price were both at their lowest levels in more than a year – Saylor said ‘we’re not going to sell bitcoin’ and even insisted that Strategy would be buying bitcoin every quarter ‘forever.’

This was hardly the first time Saylor had said something like this: Back when his company first adopted its bitcoin treasury strategy in 2020, he famously stated that his company would hold on to bitcoin ‘for a hundred years.’

Over the years, he has said that he would ‘be buying the top forever’ to describe his indifference to price volatility, calling bitcoin as better than either cash or gold.

A very different Saylor showed up on the company’s first quarter earnings call, stating that the company would ‘probably sell some bitcoin to pay a dividend just to inoculate the market and send the message that we did it.’

Flying in the face of his loud public record, he said the company’s model was actually to fund bitcoin purchases with credit, ‘let it appreciate,’ and then ‘selectively sell’ portions to ‘pay the dividends.’

On Strategy's earnings conference call last week, Michael Saylor admitted he might have to sell bitcoin

On Strategy’s earnings conference call last week, Michael Saylor admitted he might have to sell bitcoin

Following the comments, Strategy’s stock fell 4 percent and bitcoin declined below $81,000.

After the quarterly report, Strategy resumed stocking up on bitcoin and Saylor didn’t hide who’s paying for it: Shareholders.

Strategy purchased 535 bitcoin for $43 million during the week ending May 10, paying an average of $80,340 per coin.

He posted a video on video on X in which he raps about using the ‘equity ATM’ – aka stock sales – in an effort to hurt those who bet against the company and bitcoin.

The company funded its bitcoin acquisitions by selling 231,324 common shares and preferred stock, raising a total of $43 million.

‘You buy bitcoin with credit, you let it appreciate, and then you sell bitcoin to pay the dividend,’ Saylor said earlier on the earnings conference call.

Saylor claims his words were aimed at short sellers who bet against the stock – and bitcoin – and show how he can make them lose money.

Shares of Strategy were only down 60 percent from their all-time high as Saylor addressed the conference, recovering from their down 72 percent position just two weeks earlier.

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