When my husband Sam and I first came to terms with having accumulated over $460,000 in debt, we were newlyweds trying to establish our career paths and find our footing in life.

As budding musicians stepping into the professional world, I was juggling a role as a substitute teacher, while Sam took on studio gigs in the area. Together, we earned just above $30,000 annually.

The most daunting aspect was that our $460,000 debt was nearly all consumer-related. Unfortunately, there was no luxurious property behind it—just a failed investment in a townhouse, two cars beyond our budget, around 20 credit cards, and a staggering $230,000 in student loans.

The thought of attempting to become debt-free at that point seemed beyond ridiculous; it seemed utterly impossible.

It was 2008, and the world was reeling from the onset of the Great Recession. Economic chaos was rampant—gas prices soared, the real estate market plummeted, and retirement funds were being liquidated at devastating losses. Thousands of Americans saw their savings evaporate daily.

If you’re reading this now, you might understand the feeling. The notion that anyone could rise above the challenges of a cost-of-living crisis, a housing market downturn, and record-high insurance rates seems nearly inconceivable.

All at a time when wages don’t seem to be keeping up.

Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. And it took some very difficult decisions.

Jade and her husband Sam were just newlyweds when they realized they’d racked up more than $460,000 of debt

The idea of embarking on a journey to become debt-free at a time like that was more than laughable, she says

Here’s how we did it – not just becoming debt free but building wealth to become net-worth millionaires.

This is how you can conquer your money goals too.

You need a purpose to proceed

You need a reason to change your money habits. And ‘so I can have more money’ isn’t good enough. It needs to be something that will keep you going when it’s easier to quit.

My why was a vision I had for the family I wanted to create and the type of mom I wanted to be. The type of mom who walked her kids to and from school, cooked three meals a day, and had warm chocolate chip cookies and a peaceful home waiting for them when they came home.

I knew I couldn’t have that life while making $30K a year with nearly half a million dollars in debt. Not to mention I had saved zero dollars for retirement. I had to make a change.

You need to find your why too – the picture of what you want your life to look like – so you can reverse engineer the path to make it happen.

You need a budget that actually works

Most of us have some idea of what a budget is, but I’m here to tell you it’s all wrong. That’s why you never use it, stick to it, or reference it.

It’s time to focus on a budget that actually words – detailed, realistic, and flexible

A budget that actually works is three things:

Detailed: I’m a tyrant about the little things. I plug in every dollar of income that hits my account each month. Not just my paycheck, all of it: side hustles, refunds and even the money Bob repaid me for those cocktails.

It also means I rack my brain to plan for all my expenses. I list every single thing I might spend money on that month: everything from groceries to grandma’s birthday. It’s all on there.

Realistic: I plan amounts for each expense that is accurate.

A family of four living in this inflationary economy? Yeah, you’re spending at least $800 a month on groceries, so don’t even try to play yourself. Make those numbers realistic, but also the right amount of challenge so it’s forcing you to be intentional about saving.

Sam and I’s grocery budget was $60 a week. If I was extremely intentional (like I needed to be) I could make it happen. If I wasn’t, we could easily spend double. (Tip: Look at your previous bank statements to estimate what you’ll spend in each category and work backwards from there.)

Flexible: The only way to create flexibility with your money is to create awareness. And have a cushion.

Use a digital budgeting app that connects to your bank and allows you to see the state of your spending with real-time updates. (I use EveryDollar!) Then, and only then, will you realize, oh snap, it’s the 15th of the month, and your grocery budget’s almost gone.

A family of four living in this inflationary economy is spending at least $800 a month on groceries, says Warshaw, so don’t even try to play yourself

Once you can see the numbers, you can make smart choices about meals for the next two weeks so you don’t overspend, or you can utilize your cushion to help cover the difference.

Now, if you’re getting out of debt, that cushion should be no more than $100 or so. Doing a budget like this makes you less likely to overdraw or rely on credit cards to fill gaps.

Get comfortable with sacrifice

This is probably the last thing anyone wants to hear, but success takes sacrifice.

One of the biggest sacrifices Sam and I made was to move out of our apartment and into a furnished townhouse was with – wait for it – roommates.

Now, after four years of marriage, the last thing we wanted was roommates, but having them would take our rent from $1,200 to $600 plus the split on utilities.

In the process of making those moves, we sold off just about all our furniture in order to clear our Rooms To Go payments.

With that debt gone, we used cash to replace our old bed (worth a couple thousand dollars) with a $150 air mattress from Walmart and a $20 side table from Ikea.

Once you can see the numbers in black and white, you can make smart choices so you don’t overspend

One of the couple’s biggest sacrifices was moving into a townhouse with roommates

They also sold their beloved Hummer and lived as a one-car family for the next ten years

Around the same time we also decided to sell one of our two vehicles – our beloved Hummer H3. The payment on it was breaking us at $435 a month. Plus it was a gas guzzler, so we knew we needed to let it go.

It was $10k upside down (ie we owed $10k more than the car was worth), so we took a loan for the $10k and sold it. Better to pay off $10k than the $35k we initially owed.

We remained a one-car family for the next 10 years.

By making those three drastic changes, we found an extra $1,285 per month and lowered our overall debt by almost $30K. 

We also worked our asses off. We were working more than 35 weeks each year on cruise ships, doing multiple gigs per week, while getting a talent agency off the ground.

We also did every side hustle we could think of – dog training, website building, cupcake selling, teaching music lessons, remote call-service gigs. One summer I even worked installing vinyl tint and letters on commercial vehicles.

I’ll admit it wasn’t the most fun I’ve ever had. But I can also say today that it was totally worth it, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Accept the process and your timeline

This one is hard. It’s like running a marathon. It’s a fun idea, but when you actually look at the training schedule and calculate how much time, effort and pain will go into the process, you start to reconsider.

Choosing to run this money race is tough. Most days won’t be sunny and 70. Rain will fall, the training will be long, muscles will ache, but there’s no replacement for progress over time. And you need to accept that.

Sam and I knew it was going to take us a long time to fix our money. And it did. With all the career shifts, side hustles and sacrifices, it took almost eight years to pay everything off. And it was a grand total of 11 years before we were able to also save up an emergency fund and a down payment to buy a house.

The moral of the story is this: do what you need to do to win with money. The time’s going to pass anyway. So, you can tell me you won’t do it, but don’t tell me you can’t, because I mean it when I say that if someone like me could do it, trust me, you can too.

What No One Tells You About Money: The Real Key to Getting Unstuck from Someone Who’s Been There by Jade Warshaw is published by Ramsey Solutions