Single Woman Who Had a Baby at 50 Shares Her Advice for Late Motherhood

A single mother who had an IVF baby at 50 says she was in “peak fitness” when she conceived and is urging other women not to dismiss the idea of becoming a parent later in life. Kelly Clarke, now 55, said she felt ready for motherhood after building a successful career and spending years travelling the world.

Kelly, from Crawley, Sussex, flew to Athens for fertility treatment using both a donor egg and donor sperm. In March 2021, she gave birth to her daughter, Lyla Rae Clarke, who weighed 7lb 8oz and is now five. Kelly described becoming pregnant as “absolutely wonderful” and said she would encourage women considering IVF to go for it if they feel it is right for them.

Her comments come after new research by the IVIRMA Global Research Alliance, an assisted reproduction medical institute in Italy, suggested that older women face lower chances of successful fertility treatment even when young donor eggs are used. The study found a marked decline in success rates from around the age of 49.

The findings question the idea that donor eggs can effectively “reset” a woman’s biological clock. Researchers believe age-related changes in the lining of the womb may play a role in reducing the likelihood of a successful pregnancy. Kelly, however, said women should not be put off from exploring their options.

Kelly said: “At the end of the day, you’re as old as you feel. I was at my peak fitness when I conceived and I had the most amazing pregnancy. Feeling her inside me was my dream come true.

“Even though UK doctors called me geriatric, I had no medical problems at all. The only thing I suffered from was migraines, but I already had them and couldn’t take my usual medication.”

“The only cravings were strawberries and pineapple and the only thing that got fat were my ankles. I couldn’t recommend it enough to anyone who was thinking about having a kid – just do it.”

“Geriatric pregnancy” is an outdated and disused term for pregnancy at age 35 or older. The new study examined 1,774 women and researchers discovered that once a woman reaches 49, there’s a critical threshold where the dangers of pregnancy exceed the advantages, even with donor eggs. It revealed that compared with women aged between 35 and 40, those over the age of 49 had significantly lower odds of achieving a live birth and more than double the odds of miscarriage.

The number of women in their fifties undergoing in vitro fertilisation using donor eggs has risen by 67 per cent over the past decade, according to figures from the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, the UK’s fertility watchdog. Kelly spent 23 years working as a flight attendant before taking on prominent positions at Gatwick Airport. Kelly travelled to Athens, Greece, to undergo the IVF procedure in 2020.

She said: “I conceived with a donor egg and donor sperm, as the clinician said it was too risky to use my eggs, and the official recommendation was a donor. I trusted the experts completely. She is not my egg, but she is mine, I grew her and without me she wouldn’t be here.”

Since becoming a mother, Kelly has faced her share of difficulties, especially as a single parent, but believes being older enabled her to navigate the obstacles. She opted for the sperm donor path so she wouldn’t need to co-parent and could raise Lyla precisely as she wished.

Following redundancy during the pandemic, Kelly was compelled to rely on Universal Credit before retraining as a swim teacher. Seeking employment that would accommodate her new life as a mum, Kelly approached her daughter’s school for a position and now serves as a teaching assistant throughout the week.

She said: “When I became a mum I needed a good set up, so I went and sorted the good set up myself. I want to spend as much time as possible with Lyla Rae, I don’t want other people picking her up or dropping her off because that’s my job, so I went out to find something that fits around our schedule.

“I worked my socks off and paid my mortgage off just after Lyla’s first birthday, so now all my salary is spent on bills and Lyla. I don’t think I would have done as well as I am now if I was a younger mum, it would have been different and I would have made it work, but I wouldn’t have been able to do as much.

“For me at this point of my life, I don’t look at her and think ‘I need a babysitter so that I can go out and do things’. I’ve done the partying, I’ve done the flying, I’ve travelled, I’ve swam with sharks, I’ve done so much and I can show her all the pictures.

“Now I can share the experiences with Lyla and I’m not looking at her wishing her life away just so I can get mine back. My life is being a mummy and I’m living my best life.

“I’ve spoken to a few friends who were umming and ahhing about it and I would 100% recommend doing it. You’ll regret not doing it as once that baby is here, the love is worth everything and you’ll think thank goodness I did it.”

Now five years down the line, Kelly and Lyla Rae couldn’t be happier, sharing their daily walk home together.

Kelly said: “Lyla is amazing, I am so lucky. She is in reception at school and reads and writes so well, she knows my phone number, she is polite and kind. She is so chatty and a proper storyteller, just like me.”