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What drives the will to survive — is it a conscious decision or instinct? From surviving a fall from the sky, to escaping the jaws of a crocodile … can life ever be the same again after facing extreme adversity or life-threatening situations? Insight explores this in episode Will to Survive. Watch on SBS On Demand.

Thumbnail of Will To Survive

I pulled up in my Landcruiser, cracked a beer and let my dog Dig Dig out of the car to an area of the creek where I thought we were alone. I would soon find out I was wrong.
We walk up a goat track — trying to find a clearing in the creek — so I can flick my fishing rod and hopefully snag a barramundi.
I take about two steps when I stop in the clearing. Something has grabbed my leg from behind.
Surely, it’s a mate who’s spotted me and is trying to shock me.

But I look down and there is a 3m saltwater crocodile hanging off my left leg.

It drops me, shakes it head and trips me over. He drags me down into the river where the water level is at my chest.
In the struggle, I manage to grab a mangrove tree’s branches, and I hold on for my life.
The croc sits dead still in the water with my leg still in its jaw. I think f–k, I’ve got to do something — I’ve got to try to get out.
I try to pull myself off the bank but as soon as I do that, the croc death rolls me. Water splashes and my knee pops out — just like a matchstick.
I think I’m going to die.

I have started pulling myself up again and it goes for another death roll — popping and twisting that same leg.

Hanging on for life

While all this is happening, Dig Dig is barking. I grab him and think ‘poor little bugger’.
I start hitting the crocodile on the head with Dig Dig thinking maybe it’ll let go of me and take the dog.
The croc pulls me again; I let go of Dig Dig and hold the branch again.

Dig Dig runs along the croc’s head, onto my back and takes off into the bush.

a large crocodile inside a cage

The saltwater crocodile that attacked Todd was captured after the attack. Source: Supplied

The crocodile goes for another bite, I go to push him with my left hand, and he pins it to my left leg with its teeth. The big tooth is right in the middle of my hand.

So that I can have my hand back, I use all my strength to pull my finger off my hand — leaving me one less finger.
He’s got my leg in his mouth and he’s growling and growling. Then he gets both my legs in his jaw, rolls me again and pops out the other knee.
I start yelling at the top of my lungs: “Help, croc!” but no one hears.
I’ve been holding on to the branch for so long that my arms feel like they’re burning and I have to let go.
The croc then pulls me into the water again.

I hold my breath and think that I’m not coming back above the water. I think, ‘this is it’.

‘I am too young to die’

He spins me back but it the creek is shallow enough that I can touch the bottom with my hand and I manage to climb back up to the bank.
I yell for help again as it’s all I can do to try and survive — I feel very lonely.
I yell for what feels like forever, my throat becomes so sore and start to lose hope.
But then I hear a faint voice of a woman say: “Help is coming, love.”
This is when I get my second wind to hang on as I don’t want to die.

I am 28 years old and too young to die.

A man then runs into the creek clearing and shouts: “Toddy!”
It is my mate, Kevin Beven. He comes over, which startles the croc enough to let me go.
Kev puts his arms around mine, and drags me 10 metres from the bank onto dry land.
My pants are hanging down.
He looks down and says: “It bit your old fella off!”

I look down and it’s still there. We burst into laughter.

I think I’m finally safe but then the crocodile comes at me again.
I lay there and Kev scares it off. Three young blokes are now here who throw branches and rocks to spook it, and it takes off back into the water.

The ambulance then arrives. Hallelujah.

Recovering from the attack

I was in the Cairns hospital for three months and underwent 14 surgeries during that time.
Because it was both of my legs, recovery was hard. I couldn’t even use a wheelchair because my hand was injured but I was eventually able to walk again.

I had conversations with a few therapists at the hospital on multiple occasions, and they essentially confirmed my thoughts by saying, “you’re right.” I believe I managed everything fairly well—probably because I am open to discussing my emotions.

a man's injured legs in braces in a hospital bed

Todd stayed in hospital for three months recovering from the attack. Source: Supplied

It turns out that the woman’s voice I heard was a local named Raelene Motton who was 300m away in the carpark of a pub having a cigarette when she heard my cries.

Kev was driving into the carpark — funnily enough, looking for his dog — when Raelene enlisted his help.

If it wasn’t for her good ears, I would be dead.

‘The big things don’t worry me anymore’

People will say: “What happened to your finger?” And mostly, I’ll just say: “work incident”. Other times, I’ll tell the story and get the photos out.
It’s been 14 years, and thinking or talking about the attack still gives me the heebie-jeebies. I’d be lying to you if I said it didn’t.

But worse things happen to other people; people die in car crashes every day. Many people aren’t still here to tell their stories.

a middle aged woman with a black fringe and in a black singlet top visits a young man in hospital who has his left arm in a cast and no shirt on

Todd’s mum Cathy visiting him in hospital while he was recovering. Source: Supplied

I still love fishing but am a little bit more cautious around water these days. And because I thought everything was all over for me that day, nothing really fazes me now.

The little things don’t worry me but to be trapped in one spot at the same job — that’s my worst nightmare.
The big things don’t worry me anymore either, like getting a house or having to be rich. I’ve got enough money. It’s not about that for me.
It’s about just having a good time — that’s what it’s about now.
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