This New Year’s Eve, under the glow of festive lights and lively chatter at a party in Chelsea, I savored a single glass of champagne.

The temptation to indulge in another glass, or even a few more, was strong, but I had a significant commitment the next morning—a session with a high-profile client in my role as a clinical hypnotherapist and coach.

So, with a smile, I politely declined any refills, enjoyed the company for a while longer, and later walked home with my partner, Thomas. The next morning, I awoke feeling refreshed and energized.

While this may seem like a testament to my discipline and restraint, my life hasn’t always been this way.

During my 20s, the vibrant culture of 1990s London greatly influenced me. The prevailing attitude was to ‘work hard, play hard,’ and even during my university years, social life revolved around inexpensive drinks and the expectation that excessive drinking was a given.

One particularly cold night at 19, after consuming far too much alcohol, I found myself stumbling home alone through the snow. My memory of that night is hazy, and I later discovered that a kind neighbor had noticed my state and helped me safely into my flat.

I was lucky. Nothing terrible happened, but it easily could have. The shock stayed with me for a while but eventually my old habits returned.

After graduation, my career took off. I worked in film, fashion, theatre and music marketing in a world where client dinners, openings, celebrations and after-parties were awash with alcohol. I drank to unwind, to celebrate, to cope with stress.

Anna Lancaster writes: ‘I began rebuilding my relationship with alcohol from the inside out. A crucial part of this was examining the subconscious beliefs I held about myself that were fuelling my drinking’

‘Today, I enjoy wine for its conviviality rather than to avoid uncomfortable feelings. When I go out, I rarely have more than three drinks, often fewer’

Not drinking was seen as odd. You were questioned and judged if you said ‘No’.

For a long time, I did not see it as a problem, but as I got older, there were too many mornings when I could not remember how I had got home. It felt as if there was no film in the camera.

The anxiety of not knowing what I had said or done became crushing. Nothing catastrophic happened but the fear sat there every morning.

I knew something had to change, though mindful drinking was not yet part of our cultural vocabulary. Then life intervened in a way I could never have predicted. At 31, I suffered a severe spinal injury that left me bed-ridden. Three operations failed. I was in a dark place.

My mother gave me a book on the power of the mind to lift my spirits. It fascinated me. I became captivated by the idea that our beliefs shape our behaviour and that the mind can rewire itself through neuroplasticity. I eventually agreed to a fourth operation. This time, the surgery worked. My pain vanished. I cannot prove that my mental shift made a difference but I believe the mind played its part.

The experience altered the course of my life. In 2020, I qualified in clinical hypnotherapy and Rapid Transformational Therapy.

Friends were baffled that I left a successful career, but I finally understood my purpose.

Learning that the subconscious mind drives around 95 per cent of our behaviour was a turning point. If I could help heal my body through belief and focused attention, I could also change the emotional patterns that had controlled my drinking.

So I began rebuilding my relationship with alcohol from the inside out. A crucial part of this was examining the subconscious beliefs I held about myself that were fuelling my drinking.

I believed I had to be ‘on’ all the time: Fun, impressive, entertaining. If I was not sparkling at every dinner or event, I felt I was letting people down. I also carried a deep fear of being judged or not fitting in, and drinking softened that fear.

It gave me a sense of belonging that I did not yet know how to create on my own. Over time, I realised it was not alcohol I wanted. It was ease. It was acceptance. It was the feeling of being enough. When I began working on those beliefs directly, the grip that drinking had on me loosened naturally. I learned to ease stress through meditation, movement and time in nature.

And as I got older, hangovers hit harder and the lost time was not worth it. Mindful drinking let me enjoy the ritual and the pleasure without the regret.

Today, I enjoy wine for its conviviality rather than to avoid uncomfortable feelings. When I go out, I rarely have more than three drinks, often fewer. And when I know I am stressed, I choose not to drink.

I work with clients from all over the world, including musicians, actors, politicians and chief executive officers.

Many seek help with anxiety, performance, focus or self-belief, yet issues with alcohol often sit quietly beneath the surface. I always ask them to explore their why – the underlying reason for drinking. I see shame, regret and sadness. They drink to numb or lift themselves.

This is why I created my Subconscious Reset Method. I work with clients to uncover harmful core beliefs about themselves and life, such as ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I need to be perfect to be accepted’ or ‘I am only worth anything if I am productive’.

These beliefs create emotions such as anxiety, which lead to actions that can include drinking. When you identify your beliefs and feelings, you interrupt the impulse and regain power.

In-person therapy is the most powerful way to shift these patterns. But anyone can begin applying the method’s principles on their own. Moderate drinking is possible for many people once they understand their triggers, beliefs and emotional patterns.

Each conscious choice begins to rewire your brain. Drinking does not have to control you. You can rewrite your story. And you can start today.

As told to LEAH HARDY

The Subconscious Reset Method

Here’s my three-step approach to taking control of your drinking…

1. Process the past

Most drinking habits begin as coping mechanisms. Most of our core beliefs form before the age of seven and toxic ones can fuel our drinking.

In therapeutic settings, hypnotic regression helps uncover these roots and release triggers. On your own, daily meditation, even brief, brings you into a similar relaxed brainwave state where identity change can happen.

Sit quietly, especially at night, and observe your emotions. Notice the beliefs beneath them. Ask when you first learned to feel that way. Even a minute of focus begins the release. You do not need silence. Slow breathing, gentle music or a repeated phrase will soften the mind. Close your eyes, soften your gaze upward and picture yourself somewhere safe. Let thoughts drift.

This quiet attention helps you see the original wounds beneath habitual drinking.

‘Drinking does not have to control you. You can rewrite your story. And you can start today’

2. Rewire the present

Once you understand your triggers, new behaviour becomes possible. Before drinking, pause and ask whether you want to celebrate or escape a feeling. Build a small emotional toolkit. Exercise, journaling, music, meditation, a phone call to a friend or even a cup of tea can help. If you feel yourself reaching for a drink out of habit, change something physically for a few seconds. Stand, stretch, breathe slowly or step into another room.

That tiny movement breaks the spell and gives you the space to choose. Before long you notice you are acting from intention rather than impulse.

3. Act as if

This involves embodying the identity of a mindful drinker. Visualisation strengthens new patterns.

Picture yourself at a party saying ‘No’ to another drink with people who enjoy your company. Imagine the sounds, the room, your posture, ease. The brain treats vivid imagination as experience and starts to form new pathways.

Set intentions such as ‘this version of me would enjoy the evening, have one drink, talk to everyone and go home at a decent time’. Each time you follow through, you reinforce that identity.

Twenty-one days of repetition are enough to start shifting a habit.

• @annalancastertherapy, annalancastertherapy.com