Breakups and divorces often seem to come out of the blue, leaving individuals stunned and disoriented.

Yet, as award-winning divorce coach Jennie Sutton points out, there are frequently unnoticed indicators months in advance that hint at a relationship’s impending end.

With extensive experience, Sutton guides people in identifying when a marriage has truly run its course. However, she also aids those willing to revive their partnerships when there’s still hope for reconciliation.

In an exclusive conversation with the Daily Mail, she reveals crucial signs that might suggest your relationship is on the brink, encouraging proactive steps to mend it before it’s beyond repair.

“Marriage is akin to a garden; it requires regular care, occasional adjustments to its environment, and sometimes a little extra nourishment to thrive,” Sutton explained.

“Recognize the signals, take action, and watch as your joy and love flourish once more,” she advised.

Here are all the clues that your relationship is struggling and how to reignite it while you still can, according to the expert.

You secretly look forward to being away

According to Sutton, the first sign that something might be awry in your romance is if you look forward to spending time apart from your partner.

‘Do you look forward to your alone time? If being away without your spouse feels like a reset button for your nervous system and a few hours of pure ‘you,’ this is a hint that both of you might need to rediscover your independence,’ she explained.

Sutton explained that if you are starting to feel like you enjoy being alone more than with your significant other it might mean you’re not getting enough time to yourself, so it’s important to make that a priority before resentment builds.

‘Think of it as a break away from the stress you carry together. When you come back, you can share your solo experiences with each other,’ she urged.

‘Magic happens when you start coming together as two full people, not two halves who may be suffocating each other. 

‘This can spark curiosity and appreciation for the lives you both have outside the relationship.’

You already know how arguments will go 

Sutton explained that another hint that your romance may be fractured is if you start to feel like your arguments are ‘falling into a familiar pattern.’

‘You speak, they deflect and you shrink. It can feel like the same old sequence, replayed like a scratched vinyl record,’ she added.

Thankfully, the expert said there’s a way to ‘break that cycle’ before it’s too late. She suggested having a 15-minute conversation at the end of each day to check in with one another – and let out anything you’re upset about.

This will help stop the little arguments from arising throughout the day and give you a chance to talk about your disagreements in a healthier way.

‘Chat about what went well, what could’ve gone better and if you could do it over again, what would you change?’ said Sutton.

‘This isn’t just conversation, it’s a rehearsal for connection. By turning arguments into shared curiosity, you can learn to listen, adapt and even laugh at your predictability.

‘Over time, you might start to notice subtle shifts, for example, more willingness to explore each other’s perspective, and a sense that your partner is on the same page.’

Even vacations start to feel like a drag 

Going on vacation is a perfect way to freshen up a relationship, but if trips even start to feel like a drag, it’s not a good sign.

Sutton explained that this can happen when ‘certain roles are adopted’ in a relationship, for example, if one person is the ‘designated trip planner’ and the other is the ‘passenger.’

‘These roles can become predictable and it’s easy for the passenger to take the planner for granted,’ she said.

‘Instead, flip it by starting a playful pre-trip ritual. Discuss what would make it fun, what each of you secretly wants to experience and share quirky tasks, like finding the weirdest souvenir.

‘The anticipation becomes a bridge and by the time you step off the plane, the excitement isn’t just about the destination, it’s about sharing the adventure.’

You start to miss who you once were 

It’s easy when you enter a relationship to start feeling like you don’t have enough time for your individual passions to flourish.

But Sutton stressed the importance of making room for the things you like to do and not just what your partner likes to do because if you start to miss ‘who you once were,’ it can ruin the entire romance. 

‘Somewhere along the way, you [can] disappeared into the routine of “us” and your passions and solo adventures have been boxed,’ she warned.

‘It’s time to bring them back into play… and sharing these passions ignites admiration and fun because your partner gets to see you as the whole person you’ve always been.

‘It’s also a gentle reminder that the relationship thrives when both partners feel alive individually.’

You feel lonelier next to them than when you’re alone 

When loneliness starts to creep into a relationship, it usually signifies the beginning of the end, Sutton said.

If you start to feel lonely even when you’re with your partner, she suggested putting in extra effort to ‘reconnect’ with each other again before it’s too late.

And you don’t need to come up with some grand scheme to reignite that spark. Instead, Sutton suggested making small changes.

‘Even small, consistent gestures, like making a coffee the way your partner likes it, leaving a short note of appreciation or taking five minutes to really listen, can restore intimacy,’ she explained. 

‘Over time, these micro-moments add up, transforming isolation into connection.’

‘Fine’ has become the default answer

According to Sutton, there’s one word that should not be coming out of your partner’s mouth a lot: ‘fine.’

‘Does your partner reply to every question about how they are [doing] with, “fine?” That one word can mean an awful lot than first appears – fear, boredom or disconnection,’ Sutton said.

If you notice that happening she suggested telling your partner how it makes you feel and pushing them to open up further.

She said you should say something like: ‘When you say “fine,” I feel shut out. I want to know how you really are.’

‘Then ask open questions, like, “What was the highlight of your day?”‘ she added.  

‘It gives your partner a chance to re-engage and enables both of you that communication is a shared responsibility.’

You avoid talking about them with others

When you’re in love with someone, you should want to scream it to the world. So if you find yourself avoiding conversations about your partner with friends and family it’s not a good sign.

‘Do you find yourself dodging the question when friends and family ask about your partner? Maybe you’ve unconsciously deleted them from conversation,’ Sutton said. 

‘This is often a protective mechanism, out of fear, frustration or embarrassment and yet it can quietly erode connection.’

If you catch yourself doing this, Sutton recommended you take some time to ‘try to understand why’ and really ‘get into detective mode.’ 

‘Even a single conversation can reveal patterns you weren’t aware of and foster better understanding,’ she added.

Laughter has vanished 

Every couple eventually moves past the ‘honeymoon stage’ – the early months of a relationship where everything is new and exciting.

But Sutton said it’s vital to keep laughter and silliness in a relationship through every stage.

And if you notice that the ‘shared jokes, kitchen dance-offs and silly moments’ have vanished, it might be a sign a split is approaching.

‘You need to interrupt this pattern by doing something utterly ridiculous together,’ suggested Sutton.

‘Humor is our superpower in relationships. It reminds you both of the joy you first found in each other, and it’s a gentle nudge that connection can feel easy once again.’

Your body feels tense

When things are subtly going wrong in your love life, Sutton said it can manifest in your body.

‘Tension in your body such as tight shoulders, clenched jaws and restless legs often mirrors tension in your relationship,’ she explained.

To combat this, she recommended adding more ‘physical touch’ into your romance to ‘resent not only your body but also your emotional rhythm.’ 

Your social circle has shrunk 

While Sutton noted that it’s normal for friendships to fade and social circles to tighten as life changes, she reminded readers that having an outside perspective aside from your partners is always important, and can actually invigorate your romance.

‘Don’t be afraid of encouraging new experiences, meeting new people, and sharing what you learn, as they all add fuel to your relational fire,’ she concluded.

‘[If you notice your social circle has shrunk], attend a workshop, join a local club, or even host a dinner with a mix of old and new friends. 

‘You’ll find that diversity in conversation with new ideas, playful debates, and shared laughter, can all inspire your relationship.’